What would be a nice thing to do when a friend has depression?

Question

As I am always the life of the party and working two jobs, have a great husband and two wonderful children? Why did depression hit me? Well it hits an awful amount of people but when I had a breakdown....No cards, no letters, no phone calls....this is depression not cancer....it's not an illness apparently. I work in a public school and they sent BACK my twenty dollars in an envelope marked social fund! This money is for people that are getting married, lose a spouse, have a baby, are ill. NOT ME, I got my $20 back. NICE! Alert people that you can't catch it and I don't want it. It's been two years of stress, (it's amazing what stress does to a body). My hubby says that I expect too much to receive a card....that just as I send cards for any occasion doesn't mean people think. Well people THINK!

Answer 1

It's hard when you fee that no one cares or understands. I am becoming so down and depressed with my life lately, I'm not sure how to cope. People who don't know how it feels think you should snap out of it, or that you're just being lazy. I wish someone would send me a card, or ask ME how I feel for a change. It's like you feel isolated and alone.

Answer 2

I totally understand since I worked 40+hrs a week, then had a home job, husband, always did all the house duties as well as took care of everyone else and went to school at night. One thing I apparently forgot was to take care of myself. I crashed and burned...I have now been on antidepressants for 7 years. It does run in my family but at one point I felt that I had done something wrong. How could I fix it since I could always control everything around me why not this too? Unfortunately we cant! We have to just accept this as an illness and know there is help. Medical help that controls the depression. People who have never suffered from depression don't understand it. I've been told, "just be happy". I try to explain that it's not that i'm thinking of sad things, I just feel as if someone died. I feel like I have a hole in my heart and don't know why. Alot happened in my childhood so I know that has something to do with it. It is hereditary so I also know that has something to do with it... and third, I forgot to put myself as a priority and that never ever helps.
I have good days and bad days, sad days and happy days. Days I feel like going out and days I want to be a hermit crab in my house. It helps when a friend calls and just says "i'm going to the store you wanna go?" I cant say no to my friends even if it's just to go pick up a cup of coffee. Getting out is getting out. Getting my mind of the overwhelming sad feelings.
Just know its not something we asked for, nothing that is contagious. I have come to the conclusion that the reason people retreat is they really don't understand what depression is. I have explained it to my friends and literally explain the whole chemical imbalance and how different chemicals of the brain make us react differently. I should give lectures by now. I think also educating my friends and my family about what depression is has helped me understand it better. I used to blame myself, I used to feel guilty and embarrassed because I thought I was weak... but if someone has heart disease of diabetes that is hereditary we don't go blaming them. So we can't blame ourselves just educate ourselves and help others understand how we feel, what it is and how they can help us get better.
Finding someone who also suffers from depression helps, because you don't have to explain, they just know. Your bad days they know your good days they run with you. I wish you the best in feeling better.

Answer 3

THE NICE THING TO DO FIRST ITS TO LESSENED WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY AND DON'T TRY GIVING OUT SOME IN FORMATIONS IF YOUR NOT PROFESSIONAL,CAUSE JUST ONES YOU GIVE A WORLD,WELL SOMETHINGS CAN HAPPEN MORE SERIOUSLY.TELL THEM IN A FRIENDLY WAY THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE TO SEEK SOME HELP,THAT'S THE BETTER THING TO DO.ALL WAYS GIVE THEM POSITIVE THINKING UNTIL THEY GET TO SEE FOR SOME HELP.MAKE SURE THAT SURROUND THEM WITH POSITIVE FRIENDS OR FAMILY,OR DR NURSES AND IF YOU CAN PHONE OFTEN TRY TO SEE THEM.FOR ME ITS HARDER GUSS I AM LOANER AND THAT NOT TO GOOD AND I DON'T LIKE TO SPEAK ON THE TELEPHONE,THAT WY I HAVE SUPPORT FROM MY DR. AND NURSES THEY COME AND SEE ME TWO TIMES A WEAK AND I GOT A EMERGENCY NUMBER THAT I CAN PHONE 24HOURS AND TRUE 7 DAYS,I HAVE HELP FROM PROFESSIONAL,AND I GOT THAT DEPRESSION SEEN I WAS 27 YEARS OLD AND I AM TO DAY 50 YEARS OLD AND STILL BATTLING WITH DEPRESSION.I HOPE THAT I ANSWER YOUR QUESTION AT THE BESS OF MY NOLAN'S,BUT SEEK PROFESSIONAL DR FOR THAT BECAUSE IT COULD TURN FOR THE WORST IF LEFT ALONE;AND I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL.GATE HELP FOR YOUR FRIEND HONE-NY.XXOO

Answer 4

I think one should keep in contact with a person with depression it can become very serious, The fact is the person is already withdrawn to self, wont eat, or sometimes maintain dail duties. That is when freinds, co workers should support tis person let them see life different.

Answer 5

Sending my best wishes from Rainham kent UK.

Yes IT IS an illness, one which sometimes is fatal.

People are scared of how to address mental illness, lack of education normally. Please dont feel as if you are worth nothing

people just do not know what to say.

Hope you get better
all my love

xxxxx

Answer 6

Insist that your friend see a professional, and offer to accompany them to the appointment. Support their attempt to do something about it. Make sure they do not enjoy the negative rewards for doing nothing.

Answer 7

i hate the word depression, i have it my self i have only 3 friends who are there for me!! thank god a lot of people don,t understand it! they think it,s just a cop out! my friend had it as well the only thing i did for them was visit sit and listen and listen and hug them akind ear and a hug goes a long way