My father is a good man at heart but very stingy with his wallet. My fiancee and I have money saved for our wedding but would appreciate any help we can get. My fiancee's parents are divorced and don't have a lot of money but my father and mother do. How do I ask him for help with the wedding when I know it will be like pulling teeth?
2006-11-27 06:36:41 · 13 answers · asked by Snuggles123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't ask him. If you're old enought to get married, and you admit that you have money saved, then pay for your own wedding. If dad choses to pitch in, you're fortunate.
2006-11-27 06:39:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest an email or letter. That way you can word it just right and you get to say what you want without the chance of being intimidated or interupted.
If you want to ask old tight wad for money (and I wouldn't suggest using that term) just come on out and ask. You maybe could say that you have saved what you could but you also think that it would not be a very good choice for you to spend every dime on your wedding as you understand there will be many other things like housing etc. that you will need to concentrate on....if has as many moths in his wallett at you indicate, he might like that comment to the point where he will open it up and be willing to help out.
I don't know how much money you think is alot but for some people, alot is never enough, one reason is that when you plan ahead you don't want to be a burden to your children, so in a round about way, maybe he feels he is helping you more by making sure what money he has will be better spent assuring that he and your mom are never a burden to you and your siblings.
Maybe you could say that you appreciate that fact (if you think there is any truth to it)...but, this is the most important day of your life and wouldn't he like to see the benefits of having funds while he is alive.....
Just some ideas....I hope you well and wish you luck...
2006-11-27 06:48:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Usually the girl's family pays for the wedding, the groom's side pays for the rehearsal dinner and the groom pays for the honeymoon. You could tell Dad for his share of the rehearsal party money and use that for the wedding. (you could throw a pizza/keg thing for the rehearsal).
My experienced advice: if money is tight, the don't blow a lot on a wedding. It's a one day affair and a lot of money can get spent on things that may not mean that much to you in the long run. Keep it simple and make it as special as possible for you two, but save your money for the more important things later on in life: a nice house, children, a vacation budget (regular vacations with your spouse are nice to keep the romance going on and on). retirement savings. Money issues can put strain on a marriage so a nice savings account is a good way to invest in a happy future together.
2006-11-27 06:45:24 · answer #3 · answered by Signilda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't ask. if he wants to give you money he will. No sense in pressuring him! He may then decide to not purchase you a wedding gift or help you out any other time. Every now and then give him a guilt trip about how you would like more money to spend on the wedding. But if you have the money saved up don't be selfish and ask for more! Work with what you have.
2006-11-27 06:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by Blondie98_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The money disussion is hands down the most awkward of wedding topics. Don't beat around the bush... call or talk face to face and simply ask what they think they might be able to contribute to YOUR SPECIAL DAY. It's not selfish for you to ask for a little help if you know that it won't put your family in financial difficulty.
I was very nervous to approach the topic with my parents, but once it was done I felt much better.
2006-11-27 10:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by TMG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to approach this is have you and your fiance sit down with both your parents and have an open discussion about the wedding and just ask them to contribute. Its kind of a grey area on etiqutte etc. but lets be honest weddings are really expensive and since your parents are in a position to help it might be nice if they could. Its ultimately their decision if they want to but you could just ask but since they haven't already offered im guessing they might not or think that you dont want the help.
2006-11-27 06:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by So Happy!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of which you may ask if he nonetheless plans on helping you with particularly some the marriage expenditures. do not count style of receiving any money from him, in basic terms plan what you could on your individual funds, and then if he does come with the aid of you've somewhat greater to apply in a while. Congratulations and have a astonishing wedding ceremony.
2016-10-13 05:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're fresh out of school and still living with your family you might approach your father for monetary assistance. But if you've been out on your own, living away from home and making your own adult decisions, then you and your fiance are responsible for your wedding.
Finally, if you've been living with your fiance and playing house with him then I'd say, "No way!" should the parents offer any money for your wedding.
2006-11-27 06:50:35 · answer #8 · answered by Guitarpicker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, don't be so greedy! You don't need a massive amount of money for a wedding. Budget. Do it within your means. It will be good practice for married life.
2006-11-27 06:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to go about it is to ask him if he's able to contribute anything....keep it light and positive. If he says, no, don't go nuts or anything. Just say "Ok, Dad, thanks." and leave it at that. At least then you'll know what you're working with.
2006-11-27 07:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by Brittany B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋