life question...?

Question

I am 25. I love my family. But have you ever just wanted to give up? I think everyone goes thru phases of depression...but this has gone on for 12 years. I just want to give up & sleep. I want to be alone. I was on Zoloft & I just can't afford medication anymore (and I hated having to take pills to be "normal"). I hate everyone & everything. I have no intrest in hobbies, life, my job, sex, anything.... I just want to sleep. My son is 4 & my daughter is 3. I love my husband & he is so patient & good to me. I can't shake this. I have no insurance so I can't get counseling. I had a miscarriage recently & I think I took a big turn for the worse then. I just want to feel alive again. Please tell me your story. Is there a way out of this?

I only said "I can't" twice....

Answer 1

I have been found to be incompetent by a psychiatrist 2 years ago and now I have been found competent by the same psychiatrist. The problem I have is that sometimes I do feel alone and empty and sopmetimes I don't. I wish I had someone to talk too and sometimes I just do stupid things for no reason at all, like going out after midnight and looking for an open donut shop...lol
That's me crazy and wild, but sane absolutely sane.

Answer 2

First of all, being off Zoloft (and any other "anti-depressant" out there for that matter) is probably the best thing going for you. Those pills don't help at all; they're just chemicals that put your body even more off-balance.

That being said, I go through phases of depression such as you have mentioned every once in a while, and it's taken me a long time to figure out how do deal.

For me, it helps tremendously to simply take a moment for yourself...have your husband go out, leave the kids with a sitter, and have a nice, relaxing evening to yourself...even if it means a couple hours in a bubble bath at home. During this time, try to recall the things in life that you are thankful for. Think about your goals in life and write them down. There's something magical about having your goals right there, in black and white. Remember all of those who love you and whose lives have been positively effected because of you.

To me, depression is 100% a mental issue, which is only solved through the mind. You must truely believe that you can gain happiness from your life.

As someone else also mentioned, the act of giving to others, even complete strangers, can do wonders.

Answer 3

Yes, there is. You don't have to have insurance to get counseling. There are free clinics everywhere. At the very, very least, you can call a suicide hotline and talk with a trained volunteer. It helps to have someone hear you, even if they don't have answers to provide you. You might be thinking you are not suicidal, but when you just want to go to sleep and not feel anything anymore, that's basically the same as being passively suicidal. It pretty much means you don't plan to do anything to take your life, but you really wouldn't care if you just ceased to exist. (Am I right on that?) Likewise, if you need medication and can't afford it, there are ways to get it paid for, so you might want to explore some of those avenues if you felt better on meds. Trust in someone to kind of take charge of all this for you for now, because you aren't thinking clearly. Your kids are at such a great age and could be so much fun for you to be with, but you need to get help for what ails you before you can be there for them. This time in their lives will be over so quickly. You don't want to miss it. Get some help, please.

Answer 4

Ok here goes..I am living in a wealthy family and have had a good education..Imnot confident enough and am mostly thinkin about how I can make my life better..but nothing seems to change..I sometimes feel im in a dream like situation...nothing around me feels real.I go throu PMS blues for 2 weeks almost..I dont want to do a job..I like doing bussiness...but cant decide...But few months go I just asked God that I amabout to give up hope for a better future..?Why? whats wrong..Its just in my brain..My maidhas no house(proper)..she has no real friends..no education..notmany clothes..Shes happy and contented 99% of the day..Why? She has learned to give..give love and care..she has learned that lifeistoday..one must live it..
It doesnt make sence does it? My story..I just want to explain the contrast adn how I learned that being happy is not about havin something..its about giving something..We all have so so much potential to luv..Live for others..it teaches to live foronesself..Now I have planned to give and tried too..failed..but Imnot giving up..coz its not like I failed 99% of times..I have too much to thank for and Im sure so do u..Look at the beauty..think warmly about ppl..ppl need u..ur kids coz there cant be a darn as good caring person for them as yourself..ur husband ..coz for him u are dear..no on can fill thegap u create by being drowsy andnon feeling..dare to FEEL...the reason I couldnt was that I was too sensitive and the slightest doubt about being disliked just made me stop loving.Remmeber honey..Its a thousand times better to change ur preset and LOVE adn FEEL love forothers than to disappear and become nnumb for the sake of never being hurt again..Isnt it ur case..Ur afraid to feel..It will take time and persistance ..to feel again.
Best of Luk to both of us..

Answer 5

Oh you have to stop that "I can't" crap. Of course you can. Call your local department of social services. They will get you in to see a mental health doctor. They can put you on different medication (even give you samples) and you will get therapy.

See....problem solved. If you come up with any more "I can'ts" then you really DON'T want help.

Answer 6

wow you sound just like me...i know its so horrible...i love to sleep too when im awake its so over whelming for no reason...i can never get enough rest, i can never feel so happy...but i feel so bad because my kids always say all you do is sleep and i hate it...it been this way for me for so long too probably about 10 years but i never have taken meds...i have very bad days and some not so bad days...what makes it worse for me is that no one understands how it is to be like this...its not a choice its just like this

Answer 7

Sounds like you need counseling. If you can't afford to see a psychiatrist you can always go to one of your local churches to speak to a counselor, or you could join a support group.

The important thing here is that you need to decide which side of the fence you're on. In virtually the same breath you said you hate everyone and everything but then you talk about how you love your husband and how he has been patient with you. So which is it? I suspect that you really love your husband and your children but this depression is really dragging you down.

As difficult as it's going to be for you, DO NOT GIVE UP. Force yourself to try. This is one of those times where you have to look beyond yourself a little bit. You have a husband that cares about you a great deal and two children that need a mother (and believe me, they know when something is wrong). Did you count how many times you used the vowel "I" in your message? You're very focused on yourself and you really need to break out of that because your family needs you. When it feels like you're carrying the weight of the world around on your shoulders, remind yourself that the world doesn't revolve around you. Also, tell yourself that you and you alone are responsible for your own happiness. You don't have the right to be happy, and you can't look to other people or other things for your happiness. You are the one who chooses how you feel, and right now you're choosing to feel miserable. The good news is you can make a new choice. It's not easy, but you can do it.

My story is simple: I lost my wife exactly three months to the day before our 10th wedding anniversary to a car accident. For the next ten months or so I walked around in a fog, not really knowing what I was doing or why I was doing it. You know what it took to snap me out of that fog? Four Islamic extremists had to hijack jet liners and crash them into buildings! When I saw the Twin Towers come down I said to myself, "You know what, compared to what I just saw on TV I don't have any problems." It took me a couple of months before I was back to my old self, but once I stopped focusing on my own problems and got back into living in the real world I started feeling better.

There IS a way out. You CAN have your life back. How badly do you want it? Are you willing to put forth your best effort even when you don't feel like it? Can you let the rest of the world in and put your feelings on hold when those closest to you need you? It sounds counter-intuitive, I know; but it really does help to focus on others more than yourself. It's not going to be easy, and you will have your bumps on the road, but you can do it if you keep trying. You're not a failure unless you give up, and you don't want your children to look upon their mother as a failure, do you?

Show your little boy and your little girl that their mother isn't a quitter. They need you for so much right now, and they need to know that they can depend on you. So make a change for them that will ultimately benefit you. Decide today that you are going to keep trying, no matter how hard your life seems and no matter how much you feel like just crawling back into bed. You don't have to put on a happy face every day and pretend that your life is just hunky-dory, but you do have to stand up and decide EVERY DAY that you're not going to let life beat you down. Yes, this depression is very hard to deal with, but you have a lot to live for and a lot to be thankful for, and what better place to start than in your own home? It WILL get easier the more you do it, and you WILL come out on top if you keep trying.

I wish you the best, and remember -- DON'T GIVE UP!!! You're not a failure as long as you keep trying.