His son was abused by his ex-wife's boyfriend a few years ago, so he is very protective of his son. Which I totally understand, but this 5 year old is extremely disrespectful, and never listens. I am not allowed to spank him, and I can't keep him in a time out. What other options do I have.
Oh, and by the way, they just moved in with me this weekend.
2006-11-27 05:48:47 · 9 answers · asked by kicks89 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, know your boundaries with his dad in relationship to discipline his son. Then, try to find a common ground with the child, something that eliminates you as a threat.Because right now, he looks at you as the person who is taking away his daddy from him. Once he realizes you aren't the enemy, he will warm up to you and listen to you. Also suggest to daddy that he have a talk with him on respect, and that you're not going to hurt him.
2006-11-27 05:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by joan j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless they realize that your house means your rules, they need to move out next weekend. The boy should most likely be in therapy and the father as well. But that should be evaluated by a professional.
If you're expected to act as guardian to this child then you need to have authority to do so. Your relationship will never work if you are not given an equal place in the household or the child's life. If that's what you want.
It might be a good idea to read up on or consult with someone who has experience in these areas to see if there is anything you can to do reach the boy and begin to change his behavior using positive reinforcement.
It's not going to be easy and you have do deal with both father & son.
Good Luck!
2006-11-27 05:54:24 · answer #2 · answered by bionicbookworm 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since they are in YOUR house, I would set up some ground rules as to how the child was going to behave around me. I understand that he was abused but that doesn't mean that he can't be respectful towards adults especially you. Also, his father should try to get him help for the abuse he's suffered. If his father cannot accept that his child needs behave a certain way in your home, then show them both the front door. I know I wouldn't have a 5 year old disrespecting me in my house!
2006-11-27 05:52:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because they've moved in with you doesn't mean that you now have the pull and intimidation factor. If you try and use this situation against the son and father you're most likely going to lose. The boy isn't yours to punish. I don't even spank my own children. If you're being left alone with the boy and he's misbehaving just refuse to watch him. In the mean time i've found it very helpful to withhold affection. Children want adults time, attention, and affection. If you withhold your affection he'll start trying to earn it. That's a promise.
2006-11-27 05:53:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom once told me that if she ever had a son and he had behaved disrespectfully in any way, she would have sent him to military school.
By the way, the child is only five years old. I thought it would have been obvious that children at that age would be a bit rowdy.
And spanking a child would not encourage him to respect you more. You shouldn't have to use violence to make someone mind.
2006-11-27 05:54:09 · answer #5 · answered by fishcantswim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN DO NOTHING!
Trust me. My girls kids ( 12- and 13 ) are total disrespectful.
if i talked to my mom the way they do i would have got slaped into next tuesday. Some poeple dont take kindly to other people telling them how to raise their kids. Just roll with the punches and try to be happy with him.
I live with my girl of 2 years and i cant do anything to change her kids.
2006-11-27 05:52:15 · answer #6 · answered by remailer000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make them move out. Or have some patients and earn the childs trust. ()
2006-11-27 05:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by Saints friend 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This will never change. Ask them to leave, and stop seeing him
2006-11-27 05:51:43 · answer #8 · answered by identity crisis! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what are u crazy---u have just invited a wild child to live in your house and you cannot provide disipline.
Ask them to move out!!!!
2006-11-27 05:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋