i am male and i fancy this lad at work. i know he's gay but he has a boyfriend. help???

Question

i am male and fancy this lad i work with. i know he's gay cos he's said and he has a boyfriend. i can't stop looking at him and all i do is dream about him day and night. i have moved desks but find myself still dreaming about him and walking past as often as i can. please help. and please no time wasting answers that say 'tuff'

Thanks

Answer 1

I know it hurts, but you can't have him, so you would be best to try and take your mind off him.
Get out and meet new people, have fun and make new friends - you are likely to meet someone new and this will ease the pain of not being able to have the guy.
I know what you are going through, but just try to keep your chin up - this will pass.

Answer 2

Interesting answers from women who say: "Hands off" but the gay men "in the know" are aware of this: Gay men have a tendency to be the most fluid and open people when it comes to relationships. The gay male couples I know have been monogamous and long term or open with one of them working as an "escort" (ahem) and the other not wanting to look elsewhere. There are others who are happy to share and share alike - only having a relationship for the intellectual companionship. The point being: You need to find out what kind of relationship this fella is in.
What do you want? Do you see yourself as his boyfriend or do you see a sexual encounter and passionate moments with no other involvement? If you are looking for a light, sexual, sort of relationship, then you need to do some detective work. If he has a relationship where both of them are allowed to see others sexually, then you may have something. Could the attraction be the fact that he is taken and it is easier to admire from a far, than go for someone available? Ask yourself that and be honest with yourself. There is no need to torture yourself over someone who may not be attainable.
If he is in a monogamous relationship, then there isn't much you can do but "wait your turn".

Answer 3

Hi there

I know this is hard to accept but I really would leave it as a crush and look elsewhere. I have been hurt in the past big time. The way I see it is if they can drop their boyfriend to go out with you - they can probably do the same to you.

Alternatively, wait for the day he is single. That may be a hard thing to do but it may be worth it waiting rather than making a mess of things for all.

Answer 4

I think you have 2 options,

1, tell him how you feel about him

2, or just stay as you are, don't tell him how you feel

try and think, what would the possible consequences be if i took one of these actions, then make a decision

Its important, to think this through

Answer 5

Well maybe you have to start talking to him and get to know him first and ask around with people you trust how long he and his boyfrend have been together for. I don't know much about it really but if he gets to know you and finds you are a cool person with love to give then he might want to be with you too if he breaks up with his current boyfrend.
If he doesn't break up with them then go and find yourself a guy who really cares about you and still stay frendz with this guy because if you like him that much then it's worth staying frendz. If you know he has a boyfrend and he isn't likely to break up with them then think about what you think is right?
Get to know him better and ask around about him is main advice otherwise find yourself someone who cares about you and you can be happy with forever :-)

Answer 6

hi, my names harry. i had the same problem as you some time ago with my friend Paul, who i also work with. then one day everything came to a head i new i just had to have him.(we both work as personal trainers in a gym) this particular day, i don`t know what made me do it but i told Paul, the showers had been playing up. and when he went to check them i just followed him in, i turned the lights off behind me and just ran to him ,(i thought all or nothing) i thrust my self onto him with wanton abandonment, he responded, with the affection i was craving, with in seconds we were all over each over.like two water nymphs dancing and prancing in the shimmering light.then i felt pauls hands undoing my pants, his fingers were all over me i was powerless to resist, it was like, i was frozen to the spot. never in my wildest dreams had i ever imagined this could be he turned me over and lay me onto the cold hard floor(not that i cared less, it could have been, in the middle of a muddy field for all i cared) there in the heat and steam of the shower room he layed into me thrusting and pushing, i thought i was going to die(but new i was already in heaven) paul kept his relentless assault up on me for what seemed like hours. wave after wave of orgasms. then still and silence,the last push was to be his finale,(bells were ringing and horns blowing) he turned me over and ran his tongue all the way down to my now throbbing member, he took me inside him and feasted on me untill i was spent, no more rigid and firm. just lympe and empty.thats when the duty manager came in and found us, i`m still unemployed and paul now works in the local chippy, i go in from time to time for my batterd sausage? call me if you want harry s cooper 079415489834

Answer 7

You need to take your mind off of him, he is off limits, he already told you he has a boyfriend. So, that would really be unfair, and not right. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 8

he is off limits to you, and you need to respect the fact that he is attached and you need to stop day dreaming about him and get on with your own life

Answer 9

Well there is nothing wrong with telling him how you feel. If he is flattered but happy with his man then move on hunny

Answer 10

gay men are usually pretty frisky and often just jump on whoever they can

some are monogamous

the ones I have met are pretty promiscuous

invite him out, bring condoms