Who pays for the wedding reception, or how do you divide the costs?

Question

again my fiancee and I are having a destination wedding and my parents and his thought it would be a good idea if my parents paid for my trip and his (divorced) parents paid for his. His dad lost his job and his mom doesn't have enough money to pay for his in full. Should we (myself and fiancee) just pay for his trip? What about the reception? Who pays for what and what if his parents have the money to contribute, then do we?

Answer 1

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Destination weddings sound so fun!

I ALMOST did it (Hawaii) but then I knew that would cut down on who could come and I really, really wanted my friends and family to see me walk down the aisle seems how it took me so long to snag a man! !

When I was plannign my wedding I read practically every wedding book there is and read about the customs and traditions and who pays for what.

It is customary that the bride's side pay for parts of the wedding and the groom's side pays for a few parts. (The bride's side is supposed to pay for the majority, though).

However, this is 2006 and you guys need to just work with your parents to see who can swing what. it is most likely that you are both employed and will need to put some money into this yourself. My parents both gave me an amount of money that they coudl afford to help with the costs (nowhere near what it cost but I appreciated anything they could do to help) and my husband's Mom did our flowers and then me and my husand paid for the rest.

With his Dad losing his job, it isn't right for you guys to expect any money. I'm sure he feels bad enough and his expenses are probably *really* tight right now.

Honestly I think that you should take wahtever money his Mom is able to offer and pick up the rest of the cost of your hubby's plane ticket. If your parents are going to the wedding they will have to fork out money to fly there themselves.

Answer 2

Traditionally, the bride's family are the hosts of the wedding/reception, and cover all costs incurred, including travel expenses of groom's out of town family. However, in this day and age, it's divvied up all sorts of ways. It sounds like you need to sit down with both sets of parents and the bride and groom, and have a very unromantic budget talk. Discuss openly (key word there) who is able to pay for what, whose finances are strained, and who might even need financial help attending since you're choosing a destination wedding. The old rules of the bride's family paying everything just don't apply as much anymore. HOWEVER....in order to avoid another sticky issue, if more than just the bride and groom (or the bride's family) are covering SIGNIFICANT expenses of the wedding, then they should be considered hosts of the wedding. For example, if his parents pay the reception/wedding costs, the invite should read like this...
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
invite you to the marriage of their son
Jack Smith
to Miss Jane Doe.....
If BOTH sets of parents are paying equally it should read
Mr and Mrs Sam Doe
and
Mr and Mrs John Smith
invite you to the marriage of their children
Jane Doe
and
Jack Smith.
Just make sure no matter how you finance the wedding, that you read the rules of etiquette regarding invitation wording, so as to not ruffle any feathers of someone who is paying. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

YOU DO!
Yes, you should pay for everything yourselves!
Wow, you will be married, but your parents want to cover your half????? That kind of negates the whole marriage thing don't you think?? (Leave and Cleave)
This is not the 1800's where a brides family paid off the grooms family to take her!
If you two are responsible enough to get married, do it in a way that YOU can afford. Be responsible to start your life together, budgeting together, working together.
I feel too many people get married for the party, not the next 30 years together. It's sad!
Good luck, and don't do more than you can afford to do.

Answer 4

I am not sure if the money is an issue, but I allways heard that his parents pay for te reception and her parents pay for the wedding. I guess maybe the two of you would be responsible for his trip

Answer 5

usually the bride's parents pay for everything having to do with the wedding and reception: flowers, bride's dress, food, decorations, rental fees, etc.; the only exceptions are the minister's fee, flowers for the groomsmen, the bride's bouquet, and gifts for the groomsmen; however, I think it is smart to pay attention to what each family can afford; you have 2 choices, either you scale down what you want so that his family can pay "their part" or you and your fiancee pick up the difference; you may get lucky and your parents offer to pick up the difference, but don't demand or expect it; the goal is for you 2 to get married and for everyone to enjoy themselves; if everyone is stressed over money and who pays for what, no one will have a good time; good luck

Answer 6

The guy's parents are supposed to pay for the liquor and for the rehersal dinner. The girl's parents are supposed to pay for the reception itself. However, if the couple is older and have good paying jobs, I think it is reasonable for them to pay for some of this themselves and not rely on the parents to foot the bill for everything.

Answer 7

well this is how my sister did hers my parents paid for the t reception and her dress and all of that fun stuff his parents chiped in with flowers and the band and they paid for the resheral dinner so really i would say that if his parents can aford to pay ofr the trip and you too really want to get married just pay your way and his way and keep it as his parents paid part of his thats all

Answer 8

by old days they say the brides parents pay.. but my and my husband actually paid for most and our parents paid for a dinner for us after the wedding. its according to financial hardships.. you cant expect somebody to pay who doesnt have it

Answer 9

You and your fiance should be paying for the wedding yourself. People would pay for their own tickets and accommodation to get to the wedding.

Answer 10

brides parents pay for everything except the alcohol and sometimes the food and if you are lucky like me they will pay for everything there is. Pictures, dress, the works.