Drug Addicted Mother?

Question

My mother is a meth addict, has hep c and is recently homeless. She is a very sensitive person and very selfish. I refuse to let her come stay with me. I have two children of my own. She is careless when it comes to her hep c like picking at her crank sores and bleeding all over. I will not let my children kiss her or her them. She is homeless by her own choice. She knew for more than a month that she had to be out of her house and didn't do anything about it. She still hasn't done anything to find another place to live. She is now blaming me because she is still sleeping in her truck. Plus she is involved in things that could get her killed. Her drug addiction is out of control. Just this weekend she was so high she had no control over her body movements and she threatened to kill my grandma over money. My view on it is, my children are my responsibility, she's not and I need to protect my children. What should I do, if anything?

Answer 1

First of all I'm sorry that you have a mother like that. And it's too bad your children can't have a good grandmother. Personally I wouldn't do anything. It's apparent she doesn't want real help. She just wants to continue using drugs while piling up on someone's couch. Besides you have to put your children first and she's not a good influence for them. It would be a danger for her to live with you. I know it's a hard decision but your children need a safe, loving environment.

Answer 2

You have probably heard this before, but I can't stress enough how much a support group with a 12 step program could help you. Most people think 12 step programs are only for addicts, but the programs have shown to be very helpful for the loved ones of addicts as well. They aren't 12 steps to giving up a drug, they are 12 steps for taking control of your life and letting go of things you can't control. That doesn't mean letting go of your mother entirely, or abandoning her either. Its hard to explain in a post like this. My father was an alcoholic, and I grew up to date alcoholics. I have found a lot of help through Al Anon, a group for the loved ones of alcoholics. You might be more comfortable in a Nar Anon Family meeting, a group for the loved ones of narcotics users. I also found a lot of help from reading Melanie Beattie's books. Codependent No More is where you might want to start with her. Good luck.

Answer 3

Turn her in ... It sounds harsh but if she doesn't see that she has hit rock bottom and cannot get help for herself, then it is your responsibility to get her off the streets and into a place where she has no access to her fix. Meth is nasty and will probably win the battle but it seems like you have your head on strait and know where you priorities are. But knowing what you know , it is your responsibility to to do the right thing . Remember that she is a meth addict and as long as that doesn't change , she will always be that first .

Answer 4

I think you're doing the right think by protecting your children. I can't imagine being in your situation, so what I say might not be what you will do or what you think is right. Your mother needs to help herself, as you said, but I think she might need help doing that. In other words, she might need a little boost. Is there a place you can bring her--a hospital, homeless shelter--anywhere that won't tolerate her addictions but help her become a giving member of society? Just realize things don't happen overnight, and best of luck to you and your children!

Answer 5

First off, sorry to hear that you have a mother that is a drug addict. Its times like these that you need your mom for advice and emotional support with your own children.

With that being said, you are doing exactly what you should be doing, keeping her away from your family. She needs to realize that you are a mom and it is YOUR job to protect them. Sadly, that is the only thing you can do. Your mom has to help herself, no one else can do it for her. Good Luck and I wish your family all the best.

Answer 6

if she was not your mother and just some other crack head would you let her stay and hang with your kids? it makes no difference that it's you mom it is not her anyway it's her addiction talking. do not let the woman near your kids or your house, worst case is that she owes a large amount of money an 4 drug dealers come and take it out of you and your family's hide, not safe, if she wants help direct her to a shelter or a rehabilitation program, do not enable this woman to hurt you and those you love

Answer 7

I really feel sorry for you and the kids. I am going through a similar situation with my sister, but shes a drunk. Theres not anything you can do except protect you and your family. My sister had me feeling verysorry for her alot and I would help her then she would turn around and do the same thing over.VERY FRUSTRATING!! Just because their family, doesnt give them the right to dump on us and our families, right? I hope things turn out good for you. Keep her away!!!

Answer 8

Tell her that you will not have anything to do with her unless she goes to rehab. If you and your family go to a courthouse and file an emergency hearing a judge can order it. They did that to my Uncle and he's been clean 3 yrs now. But you do need to protect your kids no matter how you choose to procede.

Answer 9

You need to protect you children and your grandmother if possible, this woman is totally out of control and will not stop on her own, tell she made her choice and now you have made yours, and stick to it This a harsh reality, but one that is needed

Answer 10

I think you are right to protect your children first and foremost. Maybe you could help her find a shelter or get her to a methadone clinic to help her get off the drugs.