My 4yr old daughter is being abused by her Stepfather. She has told me and her counselor that this is happening. My daughter has been questioned twice by CPS and has not said anything that makes them feel that anything is going on. We have pictures of bruises and we have contacted the police and they have seen the bruises. Yet nothing is done. She is terrified of her stepfather but still she has to return to her own little hell. My attorney is trying to get emergency custody. Is there any thing else I can do to get that SOB busted? Is there anything else I can do to protect my daughter?
2006-11-27 05:08:35 · 19 answers · asked by phil19er 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
To answer some of the questions that have been asked. In my state if the noncutodial parent violates the custody order then they can and will be arrested. I live on one side of the state and my ex lives on the other 8hrs away. Yes my daughter does go to daycare and either they are blind or dont give a s***.
2006-11-27 05:42:07 · update #1
i used to work with a team of cps workers, and gawd they were freakin' dense sometimes. talk to the cps director and the district attorney of your county. are there other children in the home? if so, cps should be talking to all of them to get a bigger picture of what's going on. the step-father is probably intimidating the child/children to keep quiet. check your local social services for child/family advocates also...they can be very helpful. i'm so, so sorry you are going through this, i really feel your pain and anxiety...i've been through it myself. make a total nuisance of yourself until you get what you need for your daughter. i wish you the very best of luck with this, and i will be thinking of you.
2006-11-27 05:22:57 · answer #1 · answered by pirate00girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does the mother say? What have you said to her? If the step knows you are on to him, he might stop.
Can you take her to a pediatrician for a checkup? Perhaps the doctor can call CPS and push them too.
Keep working with your attorney and have him start looking into getting CPS and others charged with negligence, endangerment and anything else he can come up with. This includes the day care as they are legally obligated to report abuse. Go up the CPS ladder and talk to supervisors and send copies of photos. Call the police back and ask for clarification about the case. Talk to supervisors.
Let everyone involved know you are NOT going away or letting this go and if anything happens to your child because of their inaction they will suffer whatever penalties they can legally be assessed.
Go over this with your lawyer, but if no one seems to be doing anything because of who the stepfather IS, start thinking about going to a newspaper. I'm serious. A threat of bad press might get the so-called civil servants off their butts.
A number of years ago when I was a reporter I won an investigative reporting award for a case where a family alleged that their developmentally delayed daughter had been sexually assaulted on a school bus and the case was being quashed by the police because of WHO the kids were and who their families were.
I investigated, found information to support the claims, wrote the story and ran the article. Because of the ages of the kids, I did all of this without revealing the girl's name or the names of the boys she said were involved. The day the paper came out all hell broke loose in the town. The community was outraged and town leaders called the police chief on the carpet.
Shining a spotlight on what was going on forced the police to change their behavior and got some results.
If you think CPS or the police are incompetent or deliberately not following up, threatening to expose them might get them moving.
I hope this helps and your daughter is okay.
2006-11-27 06:09:02 · answer #2 · answered by bookmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your situation. My brother went through the same thing with my niece. The mother had my niece actually taken from her 3 times (her other kids were taken on 4 seperate times as well) by CPS, and the stepfather was abusing my niece (only 2 years old at the time). Every time we saw the baby, she was covered in bruises, and scared to death of men in general. My brother started taking pictures of the bruises and taking the baby to the doctor for exams EVERY time she came to him with obvious signs of abuse. Save all these documents. If you can get copies of the CPS paperwork as well, that's a plus. Then take the mother back to court for full custody, a restraining order on the step dad, and maybe even no or supervised visits for the mom (as far as I'm concerned, if she lets her baby suffer this, then she is just as guilty as doing it).
I know it takes a long time, but that is what my brother had to do. He has full custody of my niece now, and the mother no longer has visitation. In fact the mother has lost the custody of her other children as well.
This was my first post around here. I just had to try to help if I could. My heart goes out to you, and I hope for the best.
2006-11-27 05:50:13 · answer #3 · answered by whitetigerlover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try taking her to a doctor as suggested earlier, if he can find evidence of the abuse maybe he can report it and then perhaps the police will do something. What does the mom say? You should definitely confront her if you haven't already and she should step up, be a mom and get your daughter out of that situation.
If none of that works, I guess legally the only thing you can do is what your attorney tells you until you can get custody - you wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. Could you send her to a relatives to stay until the matter is resolved?
2006-11-27 07:28:09 · answer #4 · answered by kiwi_kb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for what is happeneing to her, all I can say is that during however long the process to get her safe is, continue giving her great moral support. You could also contact chief of police, or get anybody willing enough to protest with you. And taking it to the Media is a great idea. Because honsestly this is absurd.
And if still if nothing is working, you can personally contact that beast of a step father she has. Verbally, not physically because you dont want anything else on your plate.
Again i'm so sorry for whats happening.
Good luck with everything, inshAllah it'll be ok.
2006-11-27 05:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by Radicular 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh!! That is a parents worse nightmare. Honestly, if that were my daughter I would take her from the other parent ASAP and not give her back. Let the other parent take you to court and have the courts work it out... but I dont know if that is gonna work in your case... depending on court orders you and her mother have. Talk to your lawyer. Say to him... Off the record... What can I do? Her mother should be put in jail as well as the stepfather because she isnt doing what she should to protect her. Good Luck and Take Care of your little girl!
2006-11-27 05:14:53 · answer #6 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer is probably not legal, but I would NOT let her return there. Take her a couple hours away (not across state lines though) and have her stay with one of your close family members and/or friend in a hotel or something. It might get you in some trouble, but nothing major like prison and isn't it worth it? Plus, if they find you have cause, then you will not be held for anything anyways. It might make the damn police listen too. Keep trying, and PLEASE don't let her go back!
2006-11-27 05:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all do NOT send her back. I was told by FOC that if I felt that I was leaving my stepdaughter in an unhealthy or dangerous environment that I had every right to take her with me and NOT leave her there. If you have an attorney make sure he/she knows how you to contact you but do not bring that girl back for more abuse. What the hell is wrong with her mother?? Oh gosh, you have my sympathies. I hope everything turns out okay.
2006-11-27 05:14:18 · answer #8 · answered by his temptress 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does your daughter go to nursery/preschool? If so, contact the director and teachers there. Have they heard/noticed anything out of the ordinary? if so, they are legally mandated to report abuse. CPS seem not to take the other parent's concerns as seriously (payback issues, etc...BEEN THERE) but if a mandated 3rd party calls, you can bet your boots something will be done. I wish you luck.
2006-11-27 05:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by mmturtle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this is happening to your daughter. I have no idea what to tell you except try to get that poor little girl away from that hell hole. Don't send her back. Shouldn't the CPS try to supervise her or something isn't that their job. I wish the worst on that man, and my prayers are with your daughter!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-11-27 05:27:37 · answer #10 · answered by star-e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋