Its really my step daughter. She lives at home with her mother and grandparents and visits my BF and I on the weekends. I have known her for 7 years. She is 12 now. She has always had a hygeine problem. Meaning.....when she takes a shower she just lets the water clean her. She doesnt use Shampoo or soap. Yes, I have explained to her the proper way a tween should clean themselves. She has told me that she doesnt care if she stinks or not. I told her that she is offending other people as well as herself. No reaction. I have bought her deoderant.....wont use it. Cute panties......wont change them......Nice fruity shampoo.....wont use it. Her mother obviously has not backed me up on this. I have tried. Her father has tried, in a man kind of way, to help her. He has tried but hes really not that helpful.
Im now looking into depression and Drs. She is trying very hard to be "Emo". She doesnt want Christmas presents and she refuses to go to Disney World with us.
Help.........
2006-11-27 05:00:40 · 11 answers · asked by Sqrlll 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The child is definately depressed. Probably rebelling in a way that is making her depressed. Dont push any issues on her. Get into doc's as soon as possible. At her age children who are depressed can do many things to hurt themselves. Not taking care of theirs bodies is one way, cutting, withdrawing from family and friends, even school work.
She is giving you and her dad a sign--she needs help!!
If you notice the scent of an unwashed 12 yr old, her class mates probably do to, try spraying perfume on you when she is right near you. The scent will land on her as well. Since she wont try it herself, maybe if she notices the smell on herself...she may like it. but will probably not tell you that.
Good luck
from a parent who had a depressed 13yr old daughter...
2006-11-27 05:08:34 · answer #1 · answered by jpf 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it's your place to say anything to her, regardless of how long you have known her. I suggest you get her dad to contact the school she attends and speak to her teachers or guidance counsellor. The school can force her to get clean, because it's a public health issue if it is really that bad.
Perhaps it is just a rebellion thing, who knows. But be careful when involving doctors or labelling people as depressed. It can be insulting and can make things much worse. It's also not your place to be looking into doctors for a step-child.
2006-11-27 06:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by solargrrrrrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If her mother is not helping it would be hard to do anything. She may feel disloyal to her mother if she listens to you.
maybe she is going through a phase (a stinky messy stage) Leave her alone. If she bathes everyday then let her stink. She should come to realize she doesn't want to. But I would look into the depression thing. It sounds like she may be.
2006-11-27 05:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her be. If you dont have any authoritative backing up, then let her face it on her own. When she gets a lil older, there r naturally gonna be boys around and then she ll make sure she s double clean!
By the way, i think she wants attention. So just be friends with her and treat her with all the support and love she needs.
2006-11-27 05:19:31 · answer #4 · answered by freshlimesoda 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she may be resentful of you. The best thing you can do is have her father talk to her mother about this, completely leaving you out of it. The mother may not be backing you up because of her own resentfulness.
It's a great thing that you care enough about your stepdaughter to try to help her. Hang in there... it gets better.
2006-11-27 05:04:53 · answer #5 · answered by Robin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest going to her teachers and talking to them, they can talk to her mother about it and if her mother won't take matters into her own hands, the school can contact the authorites, that is neglect plain and simple and if her mother is not backing you guys up, she needs to be turned in. This child needs help, hold your silence no longer, do what you have to save the poor girl!
2006-11-27 05:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic example of how devastating divorce, dating, girlfriends, and living together can be on children. For 7 years she has been forced to visit her father like a yo-yo back and forth, while he's been living with someone else. Her anxiety and stress is manifesting itself in her refusal to bathe. Not bathing is the only small bit of control she has over her own life. She's angry, upset, hurt, insecure, stressed---that's what divorce and living with other women and visiting her own father does to children.
2006-11-27 05:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
just as soon as her peers start to notice her odor,they will cure the problem for her,she is being rebellious and she knows this is bothering the adults so let her stink,it's her that will bear the ridicule and she will change her ways.
2006-11-27 05:04:54 · answer #8 · answered by punkin 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you have the right idea about depression...these are sure signs. Get her into counseling before it gets worse.
2006-11-27 07:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs counseling. Something is going on with her that she is not sharing.
2006-11-27 05:15:03 · answer #10 · answered by A Walker 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋