As a single christian male, is it ok to ask a single girl to have coffee to talk and get to know her?

Question

How do you do this without getting her hopes up also? Or is that not my problem?

Answer 1

I was not aware Christianity was an obstacle to a healthy social interaction between two individuals.

Answer 2

Of course it's okay. The real question might be how do you do so without getting your hopes up. I've been there, I know. A good way to do this is to understand that she may not be the one God has in mind for you, but as a human being and a sister in Christ, she still needs fellowship. A better way is for her and you to join a single's ministry or go out with others.

But there is something you should always consider. It may not be a desire that originated from you. It may be a desire that originated from God.

Answer 3

I don't see a problem at all. I think it's a nice thing to do. If she reads more than getting to know you into a coffee, then that isn't your problem. Just commit to being honest and kind to people and their hopes are not your responsibility (though you should still be compassionate if there ever was a misunderstanding). I wish you all the best!

Answer 4

Having coffee with someone is a very casual thing. I think that would be a perfect way of getting to know someone better without making serious commitment. If things go well, have coffee again, if things still good, move on to a lunch date, or dinner date. Go from there.

Answer 5

I don't think it is your problem at all. I have a 24 year old son. He is married now. Before he met my wonderful daughter in law he had the same problem. Young women seem to look at every male they are attracted to as a potential mate. I think that you should do what he did. Let the young ladies know up front that you are interested in getting to know them. You are not looking to jump in to any long term commitments. You are interested in friendship and casual dating, coffee, ball games, movies, non intimate dinners, just friendly type companionship.
If you lay your cards on the table and make very sure that you don't lead them on or give them any cause to think that there is a romantic relationship where there is not one. Then, I think that if a girl ends up thinking that there is a deeper involvement than what you are offering, it is her problem not yours.

Answer 6

Of course it is OK, but consider her feelings first, that would be the Christian way to look at it. Obviously, you must feel that she has some interest in you more than friendship. Is the possibility of hurting her feelings worth having coffee with her?

Answer 7

of coarse not! Any time a single asks another single out it would be wise to keep their dates in puble or group settings. I say this on the facts that i failed on this subject before my wife and i got married if you get what i mean!! I thought it was stupid (since i was 24) to be in group settings but you would be amazed how fast temptaion comes at you!!!!! anyways its great when you can find someone you can get to know just play it smart!

Answer 8

No, you have to marry her before she can have a "cup of coffee" with you.

But honestly, I wouldn;t worry about getting her hopes up. She is prob thinking the same thing about you! how can I say yes w/out getting his hopes up? Just go for it.

Answer 9

Its OK, if you belong to a church group ,ask her to join you with the group. You can keep her from getting her hopes up by, being honest and don't call her again if you are not interested.

Answer 10

Her hopes up for what? That her coffee is not too hot to drink?