he just got an xbo 360 on friday and it's like the xbox gives him permission to be a slob! he leaves plates around. throws his pants off and just leaves them there. it's like the xbox is sucking hs brain out! anyone have this happen to them? grrr. i'm not ever ever going to dump him, so don't suggest that. we're getting married when he gets back from kuwait....
2006-11-27 04:42:06 · 24 answers · asked by Starry Eyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm a little confused because you said that your boyfriend just got a 360 and is being a slob around the house and then you mention that you're getting married when he gets back from Kuwait. So where is your boyfriend now? Over there or over here?
You have to keep in mind...video games let the men become little boys again. I have had my boyfriend be late to many things because he was trying to get some Xbox game play in. I have witnessed "men" (boys, really) spend all their time playing Xbox that they completely ignore their girlfriends.
If all he's doing is being a slob, let him clean up after himself. See how he likes living in his own filth. Boys will be boys, but next time you get his attention, tell him how much him being a slob bothers you. Have him try and make some effort to help you around the house instead of letting him have his cake (fun with his Xbox) and eating too (having you clean up after him). If he can't even pry himself away from the Xbox to help you out or to clean up after himself...do you REALLY want to marry him? Because this is what married life will be like too.
2006-11-27 04:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by bosnjgal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a game player too, so I think I can shed some light on this. First, when guys (and some girls) get into a game, we go into another world. We are almost not even here. So we tend to forget there is a world that we are sitting in, because our attention is so deeply on the other world of the games.
If he plays games a lot, and you are sure you want to marry him, I would highly suggest you learn what it is like to get lost in a game. Call it research, so that you can understand what it is like for him. Find a game that somewhat interests you and give it a try. Or play a 2-player game with him. My fiancee and I do this sometimes, and it is very fun.
The second part is: to communicate to him that he is being a slob in a way that won't hurt his feelings, instead of telling him what he is doing, let him know how it makes you feel. There is a very powerful communication style called "Non-Violent Communication" that teaches people to speak in feelings and needs.
So instead of "Please pick up those plates! You are being such a slob and it is grossing me out!" Would you respond to this? Neither would I. SO instead of that:
"Sweetie, when you leave plates and food lying around I feel frustrated, because my need for safety and security is not being met. I feel afraid that we'll get rodents and insects around. Would you be willing to pick those up once you are done with the game? I could remind you if that would help?"
If you look at this above statement it communicates to him why you are even asking, and shows your desire to support him. Notice the "done with the game" part. You see, what a gamer hates most is to be asked to do something while in the middle of the game.
By creating an agreement with him that he will pick up once he gets off each night (or day), then it is a compromise. And offering to remind him (because he might forget) is not you nagging him, it is actually being helpful.
So there are some tips. Just remember when you talk to him that you love him, you chose him, warts and all. And if he plays games a lot that is part of his personality, then now would be a good time to learn how to accept it for yourself. :)
It is exremely difficult and almost pointless to try to get a guy who loves games to get off them... My fiancee knows this well. Instead, ask him to compromise. Ask him to spend time with you as well, and to play with you as well. And NEVER try to attack the games.
I'm going to be bluntly honest. Some games are almost as good as sex!! So they are very hard to compete with if he loves them a lot. So don't try. Just love him for who he is, and know that the times he is on the game it is like he is not there. Instead tell him that you want him, and you want to spend time with him. 9 times out of 10 this ALWAYS gets me off the game, and my fiancee and I hang out and make love.
Good luck to you!
2006-11-27 04:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jericho 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy! You could always turn it off and talk to him about it but that isn't going to be something he is thrilled with!
Oh and don't use sex as a weapon that is just asking for relationship problems down the road. I mean really what are these no sex if he does this people thinking. If I did that I would feel like I was my husbands Mother no playing until you clean your room!
2006-11-27 07:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by Proud to be APBT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a solution which is going to take patience on your end. Just let the man lie in his own disgusting mess and don't pick up after him. If he lets it get too bad, then you can really raise some hell with him. If he still doesn't pick up after himself, I would simply clean up the mess, then hide his XBox to prove your point. You simply need to do something that lets him know that this type of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.
2006-11-27 04:44:49 · answer #4 · answered by Richard H 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you aren't going to get rid of him, try to invent a game for the xbox that will help him pick up his stuff. Other than that you made a mistake letting him get an xbox.
2006-11-27 04:47:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
move the Xbox or start to hang his pants over the TV. Another no food in the living room gross you should always eat together as a family at a table (not coffee table) if you are going to get married you you want to have kids that act like him? if you install rules now they will last a life time...........Also no sex until he listens! that always works! hope this helped you out!
2006-11-27 04:48:08 · answer #6 · answered by kim806 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if he's going off to kuwait let him be a slob for as long as he can :)
enjoy playing video games with him..
enjoy the time you have together before he gets shipped off
2006-11-27 04:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by steph 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk it over and express your feelings on the subject. If that doesn't work, hide the xbox until the mess is taken care of. If that doesn't work try a more drastic measure - no sex!
2006-11-27 04:50:55 · answer #8 · answered by sloop_sailor 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him a week to get it out of his system, then if he hasn't started to come out of his 360 induced trance, then remove the powerpack from the unit, he will conceed the point soon enough...
And although you currently remove the option, if he DOESN'T change his ways, then maybe you should kick his *** out of the house, even for a single night, will get his attention good and proper!!!
Good luck!
:-)
2006-11-27 04:46:25 · answer #9 · answered by Jaws P 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
make an announcement that once a day for 15 minutes both of you will clean up the house. it works if you make him comply .15 minutes is nothing and he will like doing it eventually. good luck.
2006-11-27 04:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋