Should a ten year old be able to do the following on his own?

Question

1. Be able to hold a fork and knife (he dropped four forks at the restaurant)
2. Be able to cut his own finger- and toe-nails?
3. Wipe himself? (I swear it looks as though his boxers are his toilet paper)
It's my step son, I only get to see him a couple times a year - I don't have any kids of my own so I don't know how coordinated they are at this age...is he okay?

1. Be able to hold a fork and knife (he dropped four forks at the restaurant)
2. Be able to cut his own finger- and toe-nails?
3. Wipe himself? (I swear it looks as though his boxers are his toilet paper)
It's my step son, I only get to see him a couple times a year - I don't have any kids of my own so I don't know how coordinated they are at this age...is he okay?

I'm not judging him, I am judging his mother for her parenting (or lack thereof). I am new at this and don't know how to react - I want it to be fun for him to come see us - I don't want to embarass him.
Yes, he can have a conversation with me - he writes stories that are well thought out - has a great imagination. I'm not concerned with his mental ability, I'm concerned that his mother is not paying enough attention to him. As for his toenails, they were so long that it took three swipes with the clippers because that little bar kept getting in the way.

Answer 1

Maybe not 2 but the rest should be easy.

Coach

Answer 2

He should be able to hold a fork and a knife - Possible explainations - he was trying to get your attention negatively. He thought he was being funny - or his mom has not taught him to use a knife yet. This is surprisingly common. It might be easier/faster for her to cut his food for him. He might have been trying to impress you and didn't want you to know that he didn't know how to use both a knife and fork together.

Clipping nails - a 10 year old should just be starting to do this on his own - with supervision. Maybe get him some clippers in his stocking for Christmas - and then have DAD show him how to do it.

Wiping - probably just that he is in too big a hurry or too lazy to do a good job. This is not abnormal. My guess is he doesn't wash his hands either. Dad should have a talk to him about this and the importantance of cleanliness. Chances are, however, you'll continue to experience this until he is old enough to WANT to be clean - about the time he notices girls!!!

Good luck!

Answer 3

It sounds to me like he is just trying to get attention. As far as holding a fork and knife, my 10 month old knows how to do that. He should be able to cut his own finger nails, but maybe he just hasn't been taught. Same goes for wiping himself. He should be able to, but maybe he just doesn't know how to do it well or maybe he is too lazy to do it. I have a cousin that used to do the same thing. She was just too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom, so she would pooh in her panties (at the age of 10). There are several different reasons why this is happening. He could also have a medical condition. Consult a physician and see what he thinks. Also, abused children act this way. Is he being abused by someone? I would definitedly check into this.

Answer 4

I have a ten-year-old boy who can do all of those things for himself. Sounds like he needs to be given some hygiene pointers (it's probably best if his dad does this). He probably should be encouraged to shower daily, and use deodorant too. As far as the fork and knife goes, maybe his mom only serves sandwiches, pizza, etc. - things that can be eaten with his hands. My kids (10 & 13) have been proficient with knives and forks for some time now, so I would be surprised at a 10 y/o who hasn't figured them out yet.

Answer 5

Sounds like he is PERFECTLY normal to me....Kids are kids they are all different...They all learn at different times....Perhaps the forks being dropped was on purpose or maybe he is going through a clumsy stage or maybe he simply enjoys annoying you!....My 13 year old seems to get great joy out of annoying his father!!...lol

Cutting finger nails and toe nails....Most kids his age will not care what their nails look like....They simply are not into all that personal care stuff yet....And since he is a boy he may not be there for a long, long time!..lol

The under ware on the other hand...That is simply gross!!...Try to talk to him about that and ask him to try to do a better job from now on....Or make him do his own laundry....He is not too young for that....Just ask him to do better at wiping....Or tell him you will do it for him!...If that doesn't totally freak him out nothing will!!...My son would certainly NOT like that!!....

Good Luck and you can be thankful it is not ALL the time...And you can relax and try to enjoy your time with him....

But, He sounds very normal to me....He will be very different in a few years when he starts to like girls!!...lol

Answer 6

Some kids are better at these things than others, he probably just doesn't think these things are a big deal so he doesn't worry about them. Is he good, or neat with other things? Maybe he is nervous when he sees you. You should just enjoy being with him & not worry about judging him sence you only see him a couple times a year. Unless your around him alot more you can't really tell how he really does things most of the time.

Answer 7

I think he should be able to do everything except maybe cutting his own nails. My son is 4 and has been holding his own fork since he was 3.

Answer 8

Yes. I will admit that I help my 10 with his nails because he hates it when he has a pointy corner on his toe and it snags his socks.

Dropping utensils on one occasion could be a sign of nerves. Always doing it would be unusual. Using a knife may just be a skill he doesn't use every day.

Soiling his pants on one occasion because of nervousness or a tummy problem is not unheard of, but consistently doing it is unusual.

What about his speech and social skills? Can he have a conversation with you?

Hope this helps.

Answer 9

yes he should be able to hold his own fork but maybe he was a little nervous and accidently dropped his fork
not necassarily should he be able to cut his own toe and finger nails maybe he is a little unsure about doing it on his own.
wipe himself yes but sometimes ten year olds are in to big of a hurry to do a good job
you need to just chill out on him it sounds like you are letting the little things get to you

Answer 10

My son's 10 and I still cut his toe nails and fingernails. He does not know what ingrown toe nails are. He doesn'y care. Therefore I cut them. as far as holding a fork he just sounds clumsy or just want's attention. just be patient and loving and don't ever let him hear you talk negetive about his mom. and if his mom is neglectful he will learn to appreciate you in the long run. God bless.

Answer 11

1) Fork and Knife should be learned by elementary school
2) Cutting finger and toes nails should be learned by 8 or 9 years old
3) Wiping self should be learned by kindergarten.