My boyfriend (of 5 years) and I have recently broken up. It's been REALLY hard on the both of us. But, what's the hardest thing is the fact that we're still living together. Technically, the apartment is mine because I pay all the bills (part of the problem!) and it's under my name. But, he has no where to go and the least I can do is give him time to figure things out and establish a new residence. It's not ending on a bad note, so it's not easy for me to just be like, "Get the hell out!"
But, it's really taking it's toll on me. It's really hard to know that someone is no longer your partner and have to deal with them every day. We still watch TV together, eat together, etc. We kind of don't have a choice right now.
To top things off, his birthday is today and yesterday he went out with his friends and was gone for a long time. Naturally, I'm thinking about what he's doing and if he's met another female. But, I didn't trip because he's no longer my man. What do I do
2006-11-27 03:41:55 · 14 answers · asked by * 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I was You!!!! I couldnt deal w/ it. But I guess you already made a decision and U will let him stay until he finds a place to go. But the point here is, how long it is gonna take for him to find the place? if you R paying for rent and bills is he helping U out??? if he is not I think it will take longer for him to go. Plus if you guys are in good conditions now (as friends) why ruin it??? tell him to move to one of his friend's house because if U guys R not 2gether anymore and U are looking @ him @ your house everyday, doing the same things as a couple but w/out "rights" that is not helping U @ all. I can tell just by your writing that U still care for him a lot, but if it is over, IT IS OVER, as he is moving out of your life he has to move out of your house. For his b-day you can buy him something (if you havent done it yet) but something simple for U not to feel bad about, but no cake, no party, no special dinner 'cause you dont have to.
Good luck and dont think about him anymore, just think about U and how it will affect you to have him in your house longer, he will soon start dating and U will find that horrible.
HE HAS TO GO NOW!!!!
2006-11-27 03:54:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that has to be a hard situation. If I were you I would just give him a time limit to save some money and get his own place. In the meantime he should be paying you rent or at least helping with the bills while he stays there. It is more than fair of you to be good enough to let him stay, he needs to be gracious enough to help you financially. Good Luck to you.
2006-11-27 03:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.... I think you have learned something here. Don't move in with someone before marriage. It makes things really hard, as you have already said.
Have you two talked about a time when he's gonna find another place to live? If not, I think you should.
2006-11-27 03:46:20 · answer #3 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I can answer this question from personal experience. My current gf was my ex this time last year. We had gotten into a fight and split up but remained roomies because we had just moved into an apt. together. Both our names were on the lease. I started dating someone else and it blew up in my face.
because we remained roomies, and still had feelings for one another, it made it easier for us to re-kindle our relationship and we're going strong like we never split.
Maybe this is in the cards for you and your ex as well.
2006-11-27 03:51:58 · answer #4 · answered by bigjohninfla75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not want to be the one to tell you, but...He has to go!!!!!!
Don't worry that you broke up in a good way! The fact is...You broke up! He has to go!
Tell him that he has to go because it is effecting you mentally. That you can not go on living like this. And that is it!
Give him a time limit to get his stuff together. Like a week or 3 days.
And just because it is his birthday...does not mean that you owe him anything!
2006-11-27 03:46:45 · answer #5 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a date that he should move out by(like in 3 weeks). let him know that it's to hard to have him living with you still and have him stay at a friends house if he has to. it's not fair to either of you, it's just too weird of a situation.
2006-11-27 03:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a decision. Which do you want to do: tell him to leave right away so you don't have to be with him on a daily basis, or let him stay because it's not easy to tell him to leave. I guess you need to decide which is "easier" to deal with: him staying or going.
2006-11-27 03:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are u completely sure that u still don't care for him? If u r sure, have a good and calm talk with him and ask him to find some other residence.
2006-11-27 03:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have moved in together, not being married. And what's worse, you and others are talking about it as though it's "normal," instead of part of the Liberal Code of Misguided Thinking.
2006-11-27 03:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though you feel he has no place to go I can guarantee that he has someone that he can....He needs to get out and you need to make him leave. Things will not get better, he might start taking advantage of you and make it harder for you to make him leave..Make the right decision for you and let him go!
2006-11-27 03:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋