I was obsessed with this boy for months, and he just recently took me out on a date. Nothing went wrong or anything, but I'm not sure that I like him anymore. Things about him that I used to find cute are starting to bother me so much now. I'm also starting to worry that people will laugh at me if I become his girlfriend because he's so unpopular.
It's like now that I actually have a chance, I'm having major doubts. My friends assure me that this is a normal phase and it will probably pass; is this true? Thanks for your help!
2006-11-27 03:39:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not wrong. You can't help how you feel, or don't feel. That's just not the way emotions work--believe me, sometimes I wish it were.
Sometimes, when we like someone from afar, we create this expectations. We have a fantasy about what that person might be like, act like etc. When you finally go out with that person, they might be different than you expected--not necessarily bad, but different. So, what you really felt an attraction for was, maybe, the image you had of this boy.
These things about him that annoy you--what are they? Are they major things? Are they little things you could look past? Do you think they're worth looking past? Take a good look at your own feelings, outside the realm of what other people think.
Worrying about what other people might think of you, and this boy, is certainly something that would affect your feelings. It is possible that your feelings have changed, because you're worried about what other people will say. But, honestly, all that matters is how you feel, how he makes you feel--forget other people, because they're not in your relationship. You know?
I hope this helps!
2006-11-27 03:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by BeautifulStranger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not horrible for changing your feelings so fast. I just did the same thing no more then five days ago. I prayed and wish my feelings would change. I was wondering if I was the only one that does this, but I see now that I'm not. I liked a guy for some strange reason but I really didn't like him like him. I believe I was going through something and was expressing it wrong because I knew I wasn't going to feel this way long about him. Now I feel much better that it is over and nothing went wrong with us. I guess it was phrase.
2006-11-27 03:50:33 · answer #2 · answered by T. S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell you so concerned what other people think? You are gonna be dating the guy not them. Grow up and stop basing your life on what others think of the decisions you are making for it. I think you need to get out of the relationship just cause you have no true identity of yourself to begin with. How can you possibly be okay with him when you are not stable yourself? When you can be okay with him being him and not be worried about if people will be laughing at you then give him a call. Otherwise leave the guy alone. Reminds me of Shallow Hal. If you haven't seen that movie rent it!
2006-11-27 03:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Wordsmith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are embarrassed by this boy. If you aren't proud to be with him, and you are having doubts, then stop dating him. After all, that's what dating is for - you find out about a person, get to know them, and if you like each other, you carry on, if not, you stop. No harm done.
If you are having doubts at this stage, there is no chance it will get any better. This stage is usually the starry eyed crazy about him bit. There's nothing wrong with admitting that the idea of him wasn't quite as good as the reality.
2006-11-27 03:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...normal phase? Sounds like being a teenager...so if that's the phase they refer to then it will pass when you're no longer a teen. You can make up your own mind on whether or not you like him, that's what dating is for. Seriously though, why are you so worried about how popular he is? The popular ones are often the ones that'll end up burnouts after high school.
2006-11-27 03:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by Gray 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you were more fascinated with chasing the guy more than anything else. Now that you have him you do not want him anymore. That is okay love. Feelings change. But if you do not want to be with him simply because you think that people will laugh at you because he is unpopular then that will make you really shallow. Follow your heart.
2006-11-27 03:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if one of your major doubts is that you're worried people will laugh at you because he's unpopular, do the guy a favor and break things off so he can find someone who isn't shallow and self-absorbed.
2006-11-27 03:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your obsession turned into a reality check! You were obsessed with someone you didn't know, and now that you know him you don't like him? If you are concerned with what others think - that's something you need to get over. Do you think he's worth pursuing? Otherwise friendship is still an option.
2006-11-27 03:44:18 · answer #8 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens to me sometimes but the other way round; I don't really fancy a guy and then I find out that he likes me and then I begin to like him. It happens all the time so I wouldn't worry about it your not being horrible for changing your mind.
2006-11-27 03:46:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need a new therapist. Have you tried anti-depressants? They can really help. Not everyone succeeds with the first therapist or the first drugs they try. You should probably be seeing a psychiatrist, if you aren't already.
2016-05-23 10:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋