me or not. He just can't say yes or no. I am moving on because I'm going to asume that he doesn't or he would not want me to leave. Have any of you expereined this. I'm nervous about it because I am getting older also in mid 40's.
2006-11-27 03:03:33 · 20 answers · asked by syd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just move on, better than a disappointment later
:> peace
.
2006-11-30 15:24:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not rush into things. He may say he wants to settle down and this may be true, but a baby is a big responsibility (which im sure you already know :)) and it causes many relationships to fall apart. If you do not feel as if your relationship is strong at the moment, there is no way a baby is going to make things any easier, only harder. He may have grew up and changed, but it does seem suspicious that he is still texting other women. If you do not believe his explanations, then there cannot be much trust in your relationship. I would say bring up other conversation you found and explain that you feel as if he has not changed, and that (if this is true) you do not feel as if you can trust him. He may find it annoying that you snoop around, but this would not need to happen if he allowed trust in your relationship. Do not stay in the relationship with him just for a house and some money. I understand that you do not have anything without him, but a relationship must be based on love and trust. If you do not feel as if you can stay in the relationship the way it is, then tell him. If he loves you and wants to be with you in the way he says he does, then he will prove to you that he is faithful. If he cannot prove this to you then I would say find someone that you can trust. Stay with a family member or friend and maybe borrow some money and pay it back once you have got a job. Good luck :)
2016-03-28 21:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think leaving is the right choice. You're right not to continue going along with it. Something probably should have "happened" for you two by 1 year of being together. I believe that is the "statistic."
Believe me, don't go along with a guy that says something like, "I love you, but I'm not sure of the extent of my feelings," or "I've got a fear of commitment." I made the mistake of being with a guy for 3 years like this when I should have ended it after 1 year. (We both are around your age group.) I knew I wanted a future with him at 6 or 9 months myself. There were hints from him of a future together but nothing solid. There's nothing worse than hoping for something in a rel.
My boyfriend was keeping me around because it was convenient. I'm sure he was waiting to see if there was something better. (Obviously, there wasn't :) Anyway, I am soooo glad he's not dragging me around any more. Be brave. Scratch each day off the calender you do not contact him. Go online and start dating. Make up a list of what you want in a guy and go for it. Don't accept "I'm not sure." Be yourself, but be choosy. There is someone out there that wants you for sure.
2006-11-27 03:18:27 · answer #3 · answered by Taramasu2U 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Huh! Say what? You guys been together for two years and he don't know if he loves you. Woman you better get the hell out of Dodge. Don't even waste anymore of your precious years on this guy. I say that because he is 40 years old and hasn't a clue what he feels for you. I find that a little hard to believe. Any man that age knows what the hell he wants. And my guess is that he don't want you or he just wants what you are giving him and that is something he can probably get from any woman.
2006-11-27 03:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by Wordsmith 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a guy in his mid 40's doesn't know if he loves you or not, it is definitely time to move on. He is immature. He either does love you and is too lame to admit it, or he doesn't love you (but prolly likes you a lot) and doesn't want a *scene*, so he gives you the in between answer. I would move on because I would rather be single and know, then have a boyfriend and live in that grey area of love. You deserve better, don't you think??
There are lots of single mid 40's guys that know what they want in a relationship, trust me. Move on and live in the full knowledge of who loves you - YOU!!
2006-11-27 03:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by ValentineP 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You must be feeling very torn up inside right now but you are on the right track. My impression is that this man may have a lot of unresolved issues of his own and that he does not deal with them. Now, as a result of this, he is unable to love himself, let alone someone else. Let him go, he is is old enough to know better, but chooses not to deal with his problems. Life is too precious and too short to be unhappy.
As for you getting older. It is never too late to find love! It will happen when it is meant to. In the meantime, learn how to love yourself more! Treat you mind, body and soul to some quality, food, exercise and meditation. Learn to release your beautiful inner Goddess! The positve energy you will eminate will give you the strength to get through this and attract positive people to you!
Good Luck!
2006-11-27 03:14:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If a man at 40 doesn't know if he is in love or not when is he going to know at 100? move on
2006-11-27 03:05:55 · answer #7 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Guys don't "love" the say way women do. Women seek a mate for life and apparently feel the need to grow old with someone/anyone who'll put up with them. Guys, on the other hand, do not have this inate need to be nurtured for life. Yeah, he may love you (in a guy way that you can't grasp). But you'll probably always be in doubt because men and women are wired differently. Do whatever you need to do to be happy with or without him.
2006-11-27 03:07:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
A wise choice on your part. Move on. This guy is just wasting your time. And time is a valuable commodity. There are too many good guys out there to waste your life on this worm.
2006-11-27 03:07:23 · answer #9 · answered by dragunov 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont know your or his exact situation, but I would think he should know if he loves you or not if you two have been together for 2 years. His past relationships may have him distancing himself as well. Like I said I dont know the exact situation.
2006-11-27 03:10:20 · answer #10 · answered by J.D. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think life is to short to sit and wait to see if someone loves you or not. I think if they can't answer the question without hesitation than they don't love you or they are just not in love with you. Good luck and you can do it and find someone who will love you.
2006-11-27 03:07:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋