Family member "lost-it" this w/e, 42 yr old male...Is it anxiety, depression, Asperger's, something else?

Question

Hi. I'm looking for pointers on what to research to get help. Over the holidays my older brother went quite a bit crazy. Really, we almost called 911. He was very drunk, and exhibited depression, aggression, anger. Oddly though, before it got really bad, he kept bringing up mundane subjects repetitively. (He questioned a phone call I made asking him what his kids would like for xmas, at least 6 times, and increasingly angry about it. It was very odd. His wife said he does this often now. She accidentally gave him the wrong directions and he badgered her about it for hours -- after she apologized.)

His son has an undiagnosed speech disability. Could my bro be the carrier of Aspergers, or is this simply depression/anxiety or alcoholism?

It's bad, and I'm worried about his 2 young children. He doesn't think he has a problem.
Thx.

It's new behavior. He was always socially immature, inappropriate jokes, overly loud talking, etc. Things he should have matured out of. His youngest child is high-needs, and this has added stress to their marriage. Maybe it is alcoholism. You have to practice to drink as much as he did on Thanksgiving -- about 3+ bottles of wine.

Answer 1

Although it's difficult to say exactly what is going on here without interviewing you, your brother and his family, from your description, he sounds like a garden-variety drunk. All the things you describe--depression, aggression, anger, perseveration (repeating stuff)--is typical of very inebriated people. And your brother may drink because he is depressed, or for any number of reasons, which leads to a sort of chicken-or-egg notion (does he drink because he's depressed or is he depressed because he drinks?).

Ruminating about possible genetic or behavioral causative factors will not get you very far, because your bro has chosen a very destructive and selfish path, and you need to maintain some sanity in your lives. Asperger's Syndrome is an autism-spectrum disorder, fairly difficult to diagnose correctly, not so amenable to treatment, and isn't the main issue here. Were your brother to show up for behavioral intervention, his drinking and resulting behaviors would be a primary focus of treatment

The first priority is for the sane people in this family to get help for themselves. I suggest that your sister-in-law and you both start attending Al-Anon meetings. That your brother thinks he has no problem is common among addicts of all kinds, and you may not be able to do anything about him until there is a crisis. In the meantime, protect the children and yourselves.

I recommend reading up on Adult Children of Alcoholics (website provided below). Also, a man named Doug Thorburn has a website on alcoholism and substance abuse, that is thoroughly informative, if a bit shrill.

I wish you, your brother, and your sil & family all the best, knowing you probably have a long slog ahead of you.

Answer 2

It is most likely some form of depression, worsened by alcoholism. A lot of times, alcoholics are also depressed or have some other mental disorder (which is why they turned to alcohol in the first place) I have a family member who is bipolar and alcoholic.
The repeatedly focusing on minor details could be a symptom of depression. A lot of people who are depressed ruminate on details or just can not focus, so they will forget something you told them and have to ask again. They can get impatient when your answer doesn't satisfy them or they want you to say something and you're not saying it. They can be extremely critical of others (which would explain why he is harping on his wife for giving the wrong directions). Basically, they see the worst in everything, irritations are magnified and everyone and everything just makes them angry.
I would make sure he gets into treatment, both for the alcohol and the depression. There may be something else going on, but he will definitely need to get into treatment right away.

Answer 3

I would call it alcoholism, perhaps with depression. And alcoholics tend to live in a state of denial until they hit bottom. And yes, you are right to be worried about his family. The attittude problem he displayed toward his wife doesn't speak well for him either.

Unfortunately, you aren't in a position to do much, yet. The lady is going to have to decide that this man is a threat to her and the children, and get them out of the house with him. As for the boy's speech difficulty, it could very well be that he's simply scared to talk around his dad and once the stress is off he'll become a chatterbox.

Watch and pray, for now. And you may want to look up information about Al-Anon, an organization that was created to help the friends and families of alcoholics.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Honestly I hope he grows out of it because a lot of people will give him a hard time as he gets older. I have suffered from depression and I have panic attacks. When I was in school it was horrible also. It really depends on how he will respond to medication if he needs it. In the long run he may want his parents attention or he may be getting bullied at school and he is to scared to tell anyone. Teachers don't always know what is going on with the students. If that is the problem try getting him into cub scouts or clubs and even sports to help him get friends. If his parents can not give him the attention he wants find him a mentor. This helped me through high school. Just try avoiding medication because it can change him to where he will not have any good or bad emotions. I hope he will grow out of it!!!!!

Answer 5

This behavior is relatively a new thing? I wouldn't think it would be Asperger's Syndrome. It sounds more like an alcohol-aggrevated situation, but I would want to look for many more signs and symptoms before coming to any conclusions. I would recommend he see a specialist in the field of behavioral psychology, but many people deny having anything wrong with them and it sounds like you would have trouble getting this guy to go to a psychologist/psychiatrist. Here is a page on Asperger's: http://www.aspergers.com/ Best luck to you.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Not to go too in depth about it but it is not Asperger's. t sounds liek he is not dealing all that well with issues in his life and possibly the fact that his son has a speech disorder. He should seek psychological treatment, even if it is someone to talk to to get things off his chest. He may have some serious guilt deep down that is now bringing itself to the forefront.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Is he taking any meds that could be affected by alcohol? Bipolar disorder meds perhaps? If it happens again, I would recommend calling 911. I know it seems extreme, but you would be doing him a favor by getting him the help that he may need. Especially if you think he is at risk of harming himself or someone else.

Answer 10

It sounds like your brother may be Bi-polar..And mixing alcohol may not be the best answer.He should see a doctor as soon as possible