how do you handle this situation?

Question

how do you handle a situation where you husband brother's finace is threaten by you. we both have a boys age 2 hers was born before my son i cant handle it anymore i have been in the family for 11 years and she has been in the family for 3 At family functions i feel as though she picks on my son constanting watching his every move she says that he runs a muck and then when she doesnt go to a party she asks if my son ran a muck. is she out of line or am i over reacting as soon as my son is near hers she panics she is so uptight my son can't even hug hers without her telling him not to she is ok when it is just us to a certain degree but in front of one particular cousin who i was once close to and now she is they act different compared to when i am with them when they are by themselves tell me what do you think and what do you do when you can clearly see the lengths she is going to to exclude you make you feel unwelcome says nasty coments towards my son and is competative

Answer 1

This is clearly a sign of jealousy and narcissism. She is probably jealous of you for more than one reason. You pick the reason... Money, looks, better car, better house, better HUSBAND. Chance are she won't last in "the family". Just sit back and laugh at her while she destroys herself. And if you like, enjoy the torture your kid puts her through! Life is short, enjoy it.

Answer 2

She sounds like a jealous witch. She is probably jealous of the closeness you have had with the other family members and that is what she wants. So she is trying to make you and your son look bad. I would talk to your husband about this and tell him just how much it is bothering you and ask him what he thinks of all of it.
But hey no matter what do not let the uptight witch bother you. Tell her loosen up some and enjoy life.

Answer 3

You could ask to meet with her alone (no kids present to run a muck) and ask her point blank what is going on. What are her concerns about you or your son.
Listen to her answer and then think if she is right or if she is just being a B*tch.
Are you friendly with anyone else within the family that you could go to for support?
What are your husbands feeling about this? What is his role?
It is difficult to have something like this going on in a family dynamic because it makes everything uncomfortable for everyone so it is good to get it resolved.
If it is unresolvable you will have to ignor her in the future.

Answer 4

Well...does your son get into trouble often at daycare or pretty much any place else? If no, then your soon to be sister-in-law is just being a *****. There is at least one in every family. Matter of fact, there is usually a few. Just blow her off. If you act more mature about the situation, she'll more than likely stop, but she still probably won't like your son. She's probably just jealous for some reason.

Answer 5

You said that you have been in the family for 11 yrs and this female has only been in for a little while do you think that the cousin is trying to make the female feel welcomed?Why would you want to be included when the cousin is spending time with the female if she knows that you dont like to be around her because of the way she treats your son?I dont think the cousin is wrong shes friends with both of you. Its very childish of you to think that the cousin is being funny that only leads me to think that you dont like this female. Some mothers dont think their kids can do no wrong. I have a cousin and her kids would be all over the place when we were having family functions she would act like she didnt see them. She would be mad also when some one tried to disciplines her kids.

Answer 6

She is extremely petty and I think she is probably a little jealous of you because you have been in the family longer and are closer to some than she is. As for your son, I think I'd just tell her to let the kids play...they're kids. Don't let her get to you. Maybe you could try to get to know her a little better and try to make friends with her. I think deep down that's probably what she wants. I don't think this situation is something to worry too much about. I think she feels like you don't like her. The 2 of you need to work it out. You are family now.

Answer 7

I would say that she is either jealous or envious ,maybe.As far as her picking on your son that isn't right.He is just a kid .Let them b little.They have to grow up to fast as it is.When she says nasty things toward your son let them roll off your shoulder.If she sees they bother you she will only continue.Some people r so miserable in this life that they want to drag everyone else down with them.Don't let her do that to you.Cause then you will b miserable like her.Life is to short. Enjoy your son, your life, your REAL friends, and family.Just act like you are not bothered by these comments.I bet they stop after awhile.Because if they don't bother YOU she has no reason to say it.Good luck

Answer 8

first of all if you are having a problem with these people lessen your and your own family's exposure and interaction with them as much as possible, I have inlaws and relatives I cannot stand and I am sure some of them cannot stand me, but I limit my interaction with them while still maintaining family obligations. It seems you feel usurped in your seniority in the family. This is YOUR problem and you need to get yourself togethr on that, take an inventory of yourself before you take inventories of others. AND.. Your kids probably have their heads on straighter about her than you do. Be adult you sound petty and immature, it seems like YOU are always watching HER to me, and you are the one who is uptight. Lighten up, get a life away from your family so this stuff doesn't bother you so much and as far as your son is concerned if you are praising and supportive of him that is what counts more than an occasional family member's comment.

Answer 9

If what you say is true then you should tell her how you feel and only her and if she doesn't get it then while she continues to act stupid you continue to be your self and keep a close eye on your son around her.Time will show her to be the scoundrel she is so don't partake in her banter and don't trust how you feel to others,let her know,watch your son and don't be as them while you are among them.

Answer 10

That is crazy. She is obviously jealous of you and that amount of time you have been around. Next time she corrects your son you need to confront her. Don't let her walk all over you, you have been in the family longer. What does your husband say about all of this?