I have been married before and my soon-to-be husband has not... he doesn't want a big wedding and niether do I. We have decide to get married at the court house therefore saving our money for a honeymoon. We have lived together for some time so we have everything we need. The big question is .... when we send out our wedding annoucements is it okay to say we have everything that we need but money would be appreciated for our honeymoon????
2006-11-27 01:54:12 · 22 answers · asked by kh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To directly ask for cash is in very poor taste. The best way you could handle this is when you send out your invitations or requests to attend your wedding. Make a note in it that you only want "Best Wishes" and that you have everything you need.
Most people will understand, but you have to prepare yourself that some may not give you anything. Usually a Best Wishes is your way of saying you don't need any material items. And most people understand they want to give you something. So you may end up with gift certificates or cash or nothing. Do the right thing and accept whatever you recieve graciously and send a thank you note right away.
2006-11-27 02:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Actually - it is considered quite rude to ask for any gift at all for a wedding. A gift should never be expected or even mentioned on a wedding invitation - and especailly not on an announcement sent after a wedding has occured.
Now, realistically, we know that people like to give wedding gifts and want to know what you want/need. But - to put that information on a invitation or annoucement is basically telling them that a gift is expected and that is a very big no-no.
Instead, let your close friends and family know that if anyone does wish to send a gift, moeny would be preferred and let them spread the word. If you are not inviting these people to the wedding - I would not expect to much. Very few people will send or give a gift if there were not invited to the actual ceremony.
I do like the suggestion made about registering for honeymoons - there are many travel agencies that do this now and guests can put money towards the honeymoon or even pay for specific aspects or activities during the honeymoon (a particular meal, a scuba lesson, etc) Then, have fmaily and friends pass the word that you are registered there. You may also get a better response this way because the givers know what they are giving you money for:)
2006-11-27 04:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by Chrys 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You DO NOT ask for gifts on your wedding annoucements. It is horrible etiquette. The best bet is to let you parents and close friends know, then they can pass the word to anyone who chooses to ask. Of course if you get asked directly you can something like "Well we're really trying to have a nice honeymoon so anything to help with that would be lovely" This opens the door for money as well as items like new luggage. Also, why not set up a registry online where people can put money toward your honeymoon? There are several sites that offer this.
Of course you must also realize that with no wedding ceramony and no reception, people may not see the need to send gifts. Many people if not invited to anything, don't send gifts.
2006-11-27 02:24:40 · answer #3 · answered by DanielleNichole 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't. A bride who is gauche enough to ask for cash in her own wedding invitation is also to crass to recognize a lampoon. She's likely to think the letter is sincere, and complain to all her friends about how "tacky" you are to send your son's Christmas request with your R.s.v.p. using the stamp she "paid" for. But you are quite right: something needs to be said. If all the refined people simply say nothing, then the boors are the only ones being heard, and this kind of selfish greed will seem to be the norm. And you've inspired me! The next such invitation I get, I'm going to respond: ==================== Dear Jenny, I got your invitation, and your request for cash. Thank-you for trusting me with this personal knowledge about your financial situation! It must be so embarrassing for you! Of course, I understand perfectly. Although I don't have any spare cash right now to help you out, I do want to do what I can! I wouldn't dream of putting you to the expense of feeding me and entertaining me on your wedding day. But, I do admire you for wanting to keep up appearances! So, I'll just come to your ceremony, and then plead a headache and go home: you needn't include me in your count to the caterer, dear, and no-one needs to know why. It isn't much, I know, but every little bit helps when you're in a financial bind, doesn't it? And you know, you and Mike are always welcome to drop in around dinner time -- you know you need never go hungry, even if money gets really tight for you! So sorry to hear about your money troubles, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Regards, Aspasia ================= Then, whenever I speak to family about the wedding if the subject of gifts comes up, I'll drop my voice and say "Oh, they told you too? Isn't it sad? Those poor kids, to be starting life together with a financial crisis! Oh, times are hard, .... but, then, it may be the making of them."
2016-03-28 21:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
check out the thumbs up and the thumbs down on the answers you are getting. It is very tacky to ask for any type of gift, let alone for money. it is not your job to solicit $$$ to pay for your trip. You are sending out invitations to celebrate a wonderful time in your life that you wish others to share with you, not invoices to pay for your honeymoon. It is tacky, you will be talked about and you will turn people off from attending or acknowledging your wedding at all. i don't care how you word it or how many times you can get the cute little verse to rhyme, it is what it is, a solicitation for guests to fund your expenses.
2006-11-27 04:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is not okay to include ANY information about gifts with your announcements, invitations, or save-the-dates. Always keep in mind that you are inviting people to share your big day with you. You are not inviting them to bring a gift, since wedding gifts are ALWAYS optional.
Just don't register anywhere, and let it spread by word of mouth that you want cash. Or, better yet, register for a honeymoon!
2006-11-27 03:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It is in extrememly poor taste to ask for money as a wedding gift. Simply put. You are getting married at a courthouse and EXCLUDING the people in your lives from your big day. Don't expect anything or ASK for anything from people you are NOT inviting to your wedding. You are very audacious to even THINK that is is OK to ask for gifts when excluding the people in your life.
2006-11-27 03:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by hollyberry 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Do NOT ask for money. Especially on an invitation or announcement. Do NOT do this,it is tacky and rude. If someone asks you then you could tell them this. If someone asks your close relative/friend they could tell them your preference. But do NOT put it in an announcement. You aren't even supposed to expect gifts at all. The guests should decide what to give and if they need help they can ask. Be thankful for anything you receive.
2006-11-27 02:03:18 · answer #8 · answered by artimis 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
No, it is not good etiquette to do that - in fact, it is downright rude. If you are planning a honeymoon, that is your own responsibility.
It is not your guests' fault that you feel you have everything you need. Then just say "No Gifts, please" without asking for anything else.
2006-11-27 08:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No...not good at all. If you are not having a wedding celebration, why would anyone send gifts at all???? Focus on the marriage, not the wedding gifts. Its no one's job to pay for your honeymoon!
2006-11-27 01:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋