My girlfriend whom I've been living with for 3 month already rarely hugs me when we go to bed.?

Question

We love each other and our relationship is going well, but it is odd to me that she just lays down on her side with not intentions of hugging me or even getting close to me (except when we make love of course). She is a hardworking woman and I understand she gets exhausted when bedtime comes, but I can not understand why she does not even get close to me. How really tired do you have to be not to at least hug your loving one? I am always available to get cozy with her, but she just lays down and gets asleep in a matter of seconds. I have spoken to her about it and she says she is just tired. I feel frustrated sometimes because I feel she is being very cold to me even though and I know she loves me very much. I need help to deal with the fact that I am planning on marrying her and her cold attitude towards me. Would I be able to spend a long lasting life with her and this situation?

I would prefer ladies to answer my question.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Uh, duh......why don't you hug her. Just because you lay there like a big dead fish "available to get cozy", you are waiting for her to make all the moves.

Answer 2

3 months? And you are getting the cold shoulder already? Good golly, you all should still be warming up and wondering "what if we do it over here?" "Or how about this?" Much too early in the game to be THAT tired, unless she is a bricklayer, I would get to the bottom of this BEFORE even considering getting married if sex is an important component of your lives together. As you could be facing many a year in a sexless, cold relationship that will leave you feeling very used and let down. While sex is not everything in a relationship, it certainly should still be hot and fulfilling this early on to both of you. Is there something you can do to help her BE IN THE MOOD? I would suggest some counseling and see if this aspect can improve for BOTH OF YOU. If not, live with it, or move on while you still can. Good luck my dear!

Answer 3

my dr frnd,
feeling sorry for u. but trust me it's a very common prob. so don't be so upset. as ur language she is very hard working lady . is that the main reason to make this situation?
if it so then sit together once again to solve the prob. give her time to feel u as u deserve. and take kare of her. it may work like a tonic to her.
now come to an another point that u will go forward or not? it depends. u r lucky enough that u' ve got an opportunity to read one before u go through. but there r lots of people u don't get the opportunity. they get married and lead a miserable life. think 'bout them! and the case u have shared with us it rarely happens with a man. but common for a woman. what they do? have u any idea? look, love and sex- both of them r very important for a smooth relationship. so u should not cut of any single. but body is not everything if heart is king of ur realm. so find it out which one is more desireable to u? have u seen" BRAVE HEART"? it can ans u.

dr frnd, don't tie urself with a confusion. if u r not in absolute ans then take time. but i think u two r enough to solve it. at last i would like to tell u one thing
- u love each other- very positive
-ur relationship is going well- positive
-it is odd to u that she is cold to u- negative
-would u be able to spend ur entire life with ur situation-?? no, it should not be otherwise it's a temporary problem.
make a decision to sit together.

Answer 4

I have a similar situation with my boyfriend at the moment. We don't live together but he's all of a sudden stopped saying "I love you" when he used to say it all of the time. He definitely still loves me. His actions show it all of the time. It makes me feel insecure and I don't like it one bit! :) I think it is likely that she is just comfortable with you. She may not feel like she has to hug you to show her love. If you get upset with her then she is likely to NOT give hugs because she may feel it is forced. I'd definitely talk to her about it but not get angry. Try being silly for a while. When you both settle down for the night and she doesn't give you a hug then say in a fun, silly manner that you're ready for your good night hug and kiss. She'll likely smile and conform and then before you know it she will feel like something is missing if she doesn't get a hug and kiss from you. Also consider if she is very stressed at the moment. That has a huge effect on the way we behave. It could just be a stressful phase that will end on its own. Good luck to you and God bless.

Answer 5

This answer is coming from one who does somewhat the same thing. I usually go to bed before my fiance, but I always give him a kiss goodnight. Does she at least do this? If she does, then I wouldnt worry too much about it, but if she does absolutely nothing, then maybe you should just talk to her. Be honest and tell her that it upsets you that she doesnt hug or kiss you before she goes to sleep. It may not be a cold atitude that she has, maybe she just looks at it differently. If she shows you love outside of this, maybe she just doesnt think of it like you do. Just talk to her and be honest. Good luck and I hope you get the answers you need and everything works out.

Answer 6

Sorry, not a lady, but you don't need them to pump you up to feel better.
She is no doubtedly stressed and has things on her mind. Things she probabally doesn't want to share, like "why am i doing this, and is there anything else" Stress tension, and indecision is all too often deferred to the one's we love in this very form. It's like looking out the window of a plane you are flying and seeing smoke coming out of one of ur engines. I'm sure you could ponder the situation, wonder what 5 different mechanics would say. What you've got to do is shut down the one thats smoking and throttle up the other three.

Answer 7

Maybe its true that she is tired and exhausted. Make the first move, when she lays down, cuddle with her even if it means you are the one who is cuddling all the time. Whisper sweet things to her as she goes to bed. Thats the least you can do to her. And she will appreciate those little things in the end.

Answer 8

Is this something new or has it always been this way...if it is new, then I would be concerned ....if it has always been that way then maybe she just isn't as affectionate as you are....perhaps there was not alot of hugging, touching and intimacy in her life growing up....be patient with her and try to understand what the real issue is....if, at the end of the day, it continues to frustrate you then you will have to decide if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life...good luck

Answer 9

She probably feels objectified. It's very common for women to quickly feel as if the only reason her man is in a relationship with her is because he needs a sex toy.

Ask yourself: when you touch her, do you expect sex? Has she been conditioned to believe that any amount of affection you give her -- innocent or otherwise -- means you want sex?

If you can say yes, then she is pulling away from you because she feels cheap, used and angry at you and herself for allowing this to happen to her.

Women are not objects to be fondled and molested at men's whims.

Think about it.

Answer 10

She probably doesn't have need to get cozy. Some people are like that. It's nothing personal and it's nothing you can talk her into changing either. It seems you do have needs to get physically closer in order to feel emotionally closer to somebody. Why don't you go closer to her instead of waiting for her. If she feels bothered by it, you guys may not want to get married.