When has disipline gone too hard?

Question

Is spanking bad for kids? Does spanking border on being child abuse? If you're okay with spanking, at what point do you think some parents cross the line and take it too far? For instance, is it okay to hit your child with a belt or paddle? Is it okay to leave a mark? Why do you have these views? If you have kids, do you spank them? If you plan to have them, do you plan to spank them? What purpose do you think spanking serves that can't be achieved in another way? Thanks for your help!

Answer 1

i never smack my children but I'm strict and if i get any cheek they go to there rooms.till they can apologize and to be a ware what they have done wrong.i have eight very well behaved polite and respectful children

Answer 2

We have 3 daughters ages 3, 7, and 10. As a last line of consequence, or if they break one of our core rules, they do get a spanking. I would consider a abusive spanking one that leaves permanent marks like a bruise, blister, welt.... other then a temporary red bottom. We don't use belts or paddles, I know parents who do, we think it increases the chance of leaving one of these marks. We just use our hand, with a child over our lap, and pants pulled down. Why? it just seems like the most effective way, you can't argue with results. We never give a spanking in anger, and the spanking is always followed up by a long talk about how to avoid them in the future, and lots of kisses and hugs.

Answer 3

There are lots of different opinions about spanking. And while I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinion, when it comes to spanking, I believe this IS a very thin line that can, and often is, crossed by parents. Spanking has different levels of intensity. For a smaller child some people might use "love taps", which most pro-spanker's do not even consider spanking. The "right" kind of spanking, in my eyes, is where the parent tells the child, in a calm, rational voice what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and reinforces that they love them, and to spank the child firmly, but well within control. That however, does not always happen, as children can push buttons, whether meaning to or not, and when a parents 'buttons' are pushed, they get angry. If you can collect yourself, and while spanking your child be in complete control, then you can use spanking as a decent form of punishment. The child needs to know what they did wrong and why it was wrong, so they can avoid doing it again. If a child is spanked when the parent appears to them as being angry or mad, the child's reasoning is no longer "I'm being spanked because i did something wrong" but rather, "I'm being spanked because mom/dad is mad(angry, etc) at me." That causes the child to resent the parent who punished them in that way, also, it does not teach the "lesson" intended. If your angry spanking takes away from your child's view of their own self worth, or if it leaves a mark, then you've crossed the line into abuse.

If I ever have children, I personally do not plan on spanking. I was "spanked" as a child.. where it started out as legitimate spanking, over the years it developed, and crossed the line into abuse. My parents leaving bruises on my body, and yelling at me while hitting me over and over, screaming they they hated me, affected me in so many ways. I have my own issues with anger now, and because of my own personal experiences, and current mental and emotional states, I would not feel comfortable spanking any child, for the fear of loosing control and hurting them. Maybe further down the road, when I've passed that milestone and have better self control, but for now, i believe the best option for me is to avoid putting myself in a situation like that.

Answer 4

I believe that spanking is good for a child. Then, they won't be like some of the spoiled brats I see every day at my job. Parents are so afraid of CPS being called on them. In fact, one woman at my job spanked her kid in the store (the kid was running around wrecking stuff) and an employee told a manager and the manager followed the woman through the store! Come on! There's a difference between discipline and abuse. Spanking your child for acting up (that doesn't included paddles or marks. Then it's too much) is one thing. Spanking them for not smiling in a picture is a whole other issue. A child should never have bruises from a hand or a paddle. I see too many spoiled brats who just need a good spanking, but marks take it too far.

Answer 5

In many states it is illegal to spank a child with an "implement", a belt,a paddle or whatever. It is also a problem if you leave marks.You've taken discipline too far if you damage the child's psyche, self esteem, or body. Discilpine should teach not necessarily hurt in any way. I raised two respectful,motivated, happy children without spanking them or demeaning them. Believe me it can be done. Spanking means the parent has lost control and cannot think of a better way to deal with the situation.

Answer 6

I have 2 children and I have never spanked them, I don't believe in it, I can't understand why someone would want to cause physical pain to someone they love so much, it just baffles my mind. I think spanking is abuse any way you look at it. Kids who are hit, hit other kids. I don't think spanking serves any purpose but, to bully someone into acting the way the parents want them to. There are many other ways that kids can be taught to behave.

Answer 7

I don't believe in spanking nor would I ever hit my child. I think there are other ways to disipline your children.... w/ time outs or whatever. I think hitting would just teach your child to hit. Growing up w/ divorced parents.. my mother hit me and my sisters w/ wooden spoons and what not. My father on the other hand NEVER hit or raised his voice to us growing up. Now as an adult my sisters and I all have a better relationship w/ our father than our mother. Not to say it was all because of the hitting, but I def have more respect for my father who was able to keep it under control!!!

Answer 8

Discipline has gone too far when a child is forced to question his or her self worth rather than question the "wrong" that they did. Spanking is wrong. It causes children to feel shame and loss of dignity. It is abuse. Children who are spanked learn to hit to resolve issues. Fact.

Answer 9

spanking never hurts..besides the one getting spanked..i was spanked as a child..and i turned out normal..i dont believe in beating the hell out of kids..but a good spanking will get the message across..sooner or later they will realize that spanking hurts and to avoid it they will learn to behave..

Answer 10

I do not believe in spanking, nor will I spank my child.
I believe it is the easy or lazy way of a parent dealing with things.

that being said. I was spanked and I dont think I have any emotional trauma from it.
I talked about this with my friend who said her mother broke the wooden spoon over her brothers butt while he laughed.......... it really p!$$#d her off!

Answer 11

properly i do not truly comprehend western disciplines so i will't truly contact upon that. yet english it will be Eventing or Dressage or adventure video games. Eventing- Eventing is problematical because you would possibly want to coach your horse in Dressage, educate leaping AND bypass usa. Dressage is problematical adequate by itself, yet showjumping and bypass usa aswell... is much tougher, fantastically as you get better. try to be extra useful at dressage and performance to bounce jumps that are a million.2m+ severe and massive. Dressage- All those problematical movements. also the administration and "perfection" you'll need. video games- you would no longer imagine that sport is problematical. yet you try attempting to vault onto a pony it really is at a gallop. it really is amazingly bodily annoying for the rider besides because the horse.