We have kissed, but no sex yet. He tells me how much he likes me, how attracted he is to me, etc. and he makes it VERY clear that he wants a physical relationship ASAP!! The other day, I discovered he was still active on the dating system; this was purely accidental, and I don't intend to continue checking up on his status as a member. I told him this and he said that, since he is not sure how I feel about him or, "if I will be there for the long haul" he is keeping his foot in the dating pool. I told him that, although I wouldn't ask him to cancel his membership, I wouldn't have sex with him as long as he was looking at other people to date. Now, it has become a focal point; he keeps pressing the sex thing and I keep backing away. I don't want a lifetime commitment from this guy to have sex with him, but I would like his focus to be on me (at least for the short term) if we are going to have an intimate relationship. I'm a bit confused. Any advice??
2006-11-27 00:21:00 · 4 answers · asked by Susan P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't say if YOU are looking for the LONG HAUL or not. I try not to assume - but since there is not way to know right now - I'll assume the reason you are dating is to find a life long partner.
There are so many things to look for in a man besides sexual compatibility. And actually - sexual compatibility one of the easiest things to work on together. Things like morals, values - whether your live on credit or on a shoe string - whether you want kids or not - how your families fit into the picture, common interest - respect of each others time - etc. - the compatibility of those things are what determine your success of a life long relationship. If he likes the top and you like the bottom - or you like fantasy and he doesn't - well - those are places where it's usually pretty easy for people to make a loving compromise - so figuring out if you're sexually compatible - EARLY in the relationship isn't that necessary. If you really start to care for each other - and love (and not lust) is driving the relationship - then it's very likely that you'll want to please each other in bed. So what's the hurry - other than this guy has a big urge to get you in the sack?
A lot of men have two brains. To me it sounds like this guy is thinking with the brain BELOW his belt. I'd run.
Now - IFmy assumption that you want a life long relationship is wrong - and you are just out there to have fun - and having casual sex is your thing - then by all means - tell him you expect a monogomous relationship while your having sex - and then jump into bed with him. I'd check up on him though. My experience is that men who think with their second brain tend to have trouble with honesty. And please use protection. STD's are out there - and you REALLY don't want to have a kid with this guy - do you?
Good luck!
2006-11-27 00:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sis. from ur story. I fell like this guy wants only sex. in fact most of the guys used on line dating they are looking for short term relationship. just sex. BUT I dont know this guy I cant tell u hes reaction with u. The Q is what u looking for. from dating service. if u looking for phsical relationship. Well u go for it then if not. get away for him. or try to know more about him. u can kis and all this staff. intil u know what he wants from u. and again ur are the one whos ganna lose. not him. and dont have sex with him all online people. who knows them . take u r time . and if he keep prusher u. leave him. and I am sure u can do batter then that. sis please be smart. dont let eny man pruser u for sex. u deserv more them just sex. good luck sis. I hope I helped if u have eny Q pliz fell free to email me. bye
2006-11-27 08:31:29 · answer #2 · answered by I_belong_to_me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still confused because your instincts are correct. He's not in it for the long term at all.
He's using the web to meet people for sex. That came across quite clear to me.
You, as most women are, think differently than him. He does not attach emotions to sex at all. My advice to you is:
RUN
2006-11-27 08:46:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him, if you dohave sex with him he'll still be seeking around to date people. he just wants a physical relationship, forgot about him and stop talking to him, you'll meet someone better than him
2006-11-27 08:25:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋