My girlfriend and I fell out over the weekend!! Having huge financial commitments at the moment, my disposable income is extremely limited. This will change in time but for the moment, I am unable to spoil her in the ways that she deserves.
Anyway, things culminated in her accusing me of being unromantic, not sending her flowers or surprising her with gifts. I do however call her every day just to tell her I love her, tell her how much she means to me and how much of an influence she has on my life and talk openly about how she is my future.
Now.........bearing in mind she is aware of my current situation, do you think she is being a little unreasonable or should I forego my own sparse luxuries to accommodate her?
Sincere replies appreciated.
Many thanks.
2006-11-26 23:47:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sweetie, You sound like a good man!! I don't think that you should spend any money that you don't have to make her feel better. Love is so much more than that. What happens if you two get married down the road and you lost everything??? Would she still be happy with you when you have nothing??? These are the type of things you need to look at before you even think about having a future with this woman. For her to feel important does not mean that she has to be showered with gifts and flowers. By you just calling her everyday telling her your deepest feelings should be enough. Your actions and the small things you do are what count the most. If she can't understand any of this then she's really not the girl for you. A real woman would understand the situation and love you no matter what. She's being very unreasonable, and she should be ashamed of herself for acting this way. You need to think long and hard about who your with.
2006-11-27 00:14:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I dont think that you should have to "forego" your own luxuries to accomodate hers...however maybe this is more a cry for attention from her? if she wants you to be more romantic - then something as little as a single rose with an "i love you" note could solve your problem. they are reasonably inexpensive, and it should make her smile. hey, it could even be your "im sorry" guesture after your fall out. you do need to explain to her though, that your just not in a position to treat her all the time at the moment, but you love her, and things will change. remember as well - sometimes the small things mean the most!
2006-11-27 07:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by summa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends, is she wanting romance or things that money can buy? Romance doesn't have to cost a penny. There are so many little things you can do to romance her. I think that if you can't afford to buy nice things for yourself, than obviously you can't for her either. Sounds like your already doing great by letting her know you love her, and talking about the future. Maybe she's looking for some surprise romance. Something she's not expecting from you. On the other hand if it is gifts that cost alot of money she wants, you will just have to explain that you can't afford it right now. Hopefully she will start to see where your coming from. Maybe you can save up for a special occasion like her birthday? Find some middle ground. Definetly, don't forego on your own living expenses just to please her. It's just stuff, it's you that should matter to her!
2006-11-27 08:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by pippy4tao 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends on how honest you are being about your financial situation. What do you consider huge financial commintments? If you are in this postion because of stupid decisions, then she has a right to be upset about that. If you are working hard to fix your mistakes then she needs to forgive and be patient. If you are continuing to make stupid decisions over finances by living above your means then she needs to find someone that is more responsible and won't cause her financial troubles later. Either way, I've never been one to desire flowers, etc. Just the fact that you call her everyday just to say I love you would mean a lot to me. Evaluate your relationship and make sure it is glued together by love and commitment not money. Talk to her about this your actions show louder than words, if she is desiring all of this maybe she is insecure in this relationship and afraid you don't really love her. Find out the root of the problem and see if it can be fixed. Best of Luck!
2006-11-27 07:59:46 · answer #4 · answered by Concerned Mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being attentive and showing your love. you made it clear right now money is tight. romance isn't all about buying gifts constantly especially if you can't afford it. Sounds like she only wants gifts and flowers. And she doesn't seem intererested in the day to day love and appreciation you show her.
Don't accomodate her needs. It sounds like you have been thoughtufl in gift in the past and right now you just can't be. If she can't accept this. Its good you see her true colours now. Its not always what you can buy her. Your in a crunch right now it won't always be this way. but you get to see the other side of this person.
Some times when the chips are down its good to see who stands by yourside.
All the best
2006-11-27 07:55:18 · answer #5 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is cleraly being unresonable. It seem you are doing all the giving and all she does is take. She is not respecting the fact that you are struggling, which is selfish. She has to learn she can't always get her own way. I think telling her you love her every day and how much she means to you is a far more romantic gesture than buying flower and chocolates will ever be. HTH : )
2006-11-27 08:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be grateful that you tell her that you love her, some women don't even get that! Material things are fine, but they aren't the same as special words. So what you haven't been able to buy her flowers, she knows your financial situation at the moment and should be a little more compassionate. she's only worried about herself. If she's going to keep it up, i'd be questioning your relationship.
Hell, if she dont want you, I'm available!
2006-11-27 07:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by melfromhell001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she's being a little unreasonable. first of all, all those things that she's asking for are materialistic, while you showing her that you care about her is more important. she should realize that, as an adult (which i'm assuming you are), there comes responsiblities in life. flowers and gifts are all frivilous things.
if you wanted to surprise her, but are on a budget you can also do nice things like make a cd of her favorite songs or make something. those gestures don't cost money and are thoughful and "romantic"
2006-11-27 07:57:11 · answer #8 · answered by hoopsgirl808 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can be romantic in many ways that don't include a lot of money. If she is a material girl then no amount of money will do. I don't think that you should give up your own sparse luxuries to accommodate her but sharing some of it for romantic gestures would be nice. Is she with you for what you give her? or because she loves being with you
2006-11-27 07:54:00 · answer #9 · answered by autumnbrookblue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girls knows that you're in a financial bind and then actually said this to you? Sounds like you may have more than someone who is "spoiled". Do things for her that doesn't cost anything. Write her small love letters on post it notes and leave them around the house. Make her dinner. Send her random text messages and tell her how much you love her. If that's not good enough for her when she knows you're struggling, I'd tell her to get bent.
2006-11-27 07:53:28 · answer #10 · answered by ' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋