Which church do i choose???

Question

I got married recently.I went to my husband's church for pre marital councelling and attended it because i thought it was the right thing to do. I do however experience no spiritual growth in this church.My church(Potter"s House) however is a great spiritual church.I feel God and I believe God put me their for a reason.This is causing a drift between me and my husband as he wants to attend his church and i want to attend mine.I can see that when we visit my church he doesnt seem to enjoy it and it is very depressing.this is causng me to not go to church at all.how do i deal with this.I honestly believe God put me at my church for a reason.What do i do???

Answer 1

I've been married 25 years and the way I got here was by respecting each other and that includes never putting demands in the conversation. We attend a non denominational church and I hear this dilema come up alot from former members of churchs that use guilt to keep their flock. I can't believe what I hear family, friends and even leaders in the church tell people should they decide to attend another church outside their faith.
I do believe it is healthier for a relationship if you can worship together so I would suggest saying to your spouse that this is your choice but you would be willing to compromise. I also wouldnt push my church on him though and expect all that guilt and pressure to simply disappear, it won't. If alternating isnt possible maybe you can attend a service at a different time such as Saturday evening service with him and Sunday at your own church alone so your pleasing him and getting what you need in your life also.. Another idea is attending bible study classes or another growth class at your church during the week, keeping involved there and attend Sunday services with him but be honest and tell him your doing this.
I can see this getting alot more complicated when children come into the picture so pray on it hard and seek council on it from your Pastor.
Follow your heart because Jesus knows your heart and whatever you decide please don't give up worshiping him.

Answer 2

I choose a church where I believe the focus is on God and the Word of God. All this other "seeker friendly" stuff is fluff. I would rather the preacher teach the Bible and preach the Gospel and not be afraid if the cross of Christ is offensive to some. Nor do I want my church to take down the cross and mix the Word of God with other religions. I go to church to be fed the pure Word of God. If they can't do that, I find another church. I am in the process of finding another church now.

Answer 3

Here are three alternatives for you.

1. You both find a non-denominational church to attend.

2. You attend your church. He attends his.

3. Go to each other's churches. Like if you attend your church in the morning, attend his in the evening with him.

Marriage involves alot of compromise. It's too bad this kind of thing wasn't dscussed before you two got married. I hope everything works out for you because this is a test of faith and your marriage.

Answer 4

That's a very good question. Did you ask him what he gets out of going to his own church? You might point out to him if he doesn't already know, that the important thing is going to the church that you and he can grow more as Christians. Also, you and he might get involved in church ministries. It's a great way to grow more and meet more friends. I do some ushering once in awhile and I drive the church van too. It's a big step for him also. Have you considered going to both churches? I've heard of people that go to more than one church. Take care.

Answer 5

I think you should compromize and alternate between the 2 churches, and not begrudge eachother. If the churches are not terribly far apart in doctrine then its just a matter of taste, your husband may enjoy a different style of worship than you or vise versa, if that's the case then no need for eachother to feel depressed about the other's church, think of it more of an expression of your spouse :)

Answer 6

Talk to your husband about this. Come to a compromise, such as alternating your church one week and his church the next. if that doesn't work, explain how spiritually important it is to you to go to the one that you feel spiritually connected to.
If you do alternate churches, perhaps you could have a nice breakfast somewhere afterward, and quietly ;~) discuss what you did and did not like or agree with, in respect to each church.

Answer 7

please talk with each other and be as open as possible. perhaps if going to each others Church on alternate Sundays doesn't work you might try to find a Church where both of you will be happy. or does either one of your Churches have a second service where you can attend one and then the other right after or an evening service.

Answer 8

I know the Potters House, Just travel 5 miles further west on pioneer accross the toll bridge to the intersection of 3rd and Pioneer Pkwy to the fellowship of Joy it is on the right, next to a 7-11.
http://www.fellowshipofjoy.com/

Answer 9

You're not going to want to hear this.

We, as women, were place on this earth to be helpers for our husbands. We are under their authority. If this is what he wants, then do it.
Tell him that if this is what he wants, you'll go to his church. (and do so with your heart open) Perhaps your church has a bible study you can attend?

There are good and bad aspects to being under their authority. This is one of the hard times for you.

Answer 10

Follow your heart every time. You need to be in your church. Take that as given and then try and work an easy life with your husband around it. Could you alternate? Could you agree to go to different churches? Don't abandon yours.