Teaching someone else's child to say please and thank-you?

Question

i'm moving in with a man who has two daughters, ages 8 and 3. They won't be there full time, but only a couple of nights per week. Both of these little girls rarely say "please" and "thank-you" or "excuse me" or anything else along those lines. They whine a lot and say "I want this" or "give me that"...it gets annoying pretty quickly... i need some constructive ideas on how to get these girls to be more polite in my home that i will be sharing with their daddy. Anything would be helpful.

Answer 1

i would say that the best way to handle it is to teach them that you expect that from them.. when they say "gimme that" say "will you please give me that" and make them say it that way to you after you say it.. also make a point that anytime you ask them something or to do something say it will please and thank you... kids catch on pretty quickly... this should only take a few times and stand your ground if they refuse to say it wil respect dont give them what they want until they do. they will find out its alot nicer that way and you get more done that way.... it is something all kids should learn so your doing them a favor :) good luck!!

Answer 2

First off, I'd like to tell you that I can really appreciate the position you are in. I'ts not an easy place to be. However it's not imposible. Children do as they are shown more than they do as they are told. Maybe they haven't been treated as people who also deserve common respect such as simple manners directed toward them. I don't know the examples that were set for them, but I do know how well children respond if information is presented in a MUTUALLY respectful setting.
Acknowledge their wants/desires/demands with statements such as...I know you really want that, but can you please ask nicely? Or make a fun game of manners through the use of praise. Make up a game of who know's how to say please? You do? What a big girl you are! What are other manners? Can you think of any? Let's think of some together. What should I say if I bumped into you? Anybody know? If they happen to say "excuse me" as an answer...Pile on the praise! As they begin to see the fun ''Game'' that brings recognition and approval from you, they'll eat it up! Yelling, demanding, or imposing punishments are the most counter-productive actions. Don't take it personal, it's just a learning experience. You have to set the example by doing! If you can establish a respectful relationship from the start, it can pave the way for many rewarding times to come! Let them know the answer won't always be yes, But it will always be No if they are disrespectful to you. Give them time and the option of changing their behavior if it starts out on the wrong foot. I truely love children! Can you tell?(smile) If you catch yourself forgetting to say please/thanks/etc... Admit it and say something like...Did you just hear me forget to use my manners? I'm sorry.
"What should I have said?'' They'll more than likely have the right answer...for YOU. I truely
wish you the best in the blending of the household! It can bring a lot of joy. I have raised many children from a huge variety of backgrounds. Respect, patience, and time have never let me down.
Best wishes, Sha

Answer 3

I used to baby sit three children who rarely said please/thankyou...
They quickly learned that they got nothing from me if they didn't say the magic word- they 7, 9 and 11 (ish)
I would also not feel ashamed when I insisted on them using manners in front of their mom either.

Tell them that without a please and thankyou, they go without. Be firm. They'll soon learn!

Answer 4

i'd get two jars and put their names on each one. whenever they say please, thank-you, excuse me, or behave in a polite manner, reward them with a nickel or some other coin. tell them that they can have whatever money is in the jars at the end of the month and take them to the store to spend it.

Answer 5

Just tell them that it is polite to say please and thank you. If they ask you for something just ask them " What is the proper way to ask" ? and have them say please and when they get it tell them to now say thank you. Another thing you can do is talk to their father and tell him that you both need to teach them to be more polite and appropriate with the manner situation. I am sure that he will agree.

Answer 6

Some replies: (1) Tell them, "I don't respond to requests unless I hear a 'please' with it." (2) As they walk away without saying 'thank you,' loudly say for all to hear, "You're welcome." (3) Tell them you do not respond to whining. (4) Tell them, "People in hell want ice water ... when they get their ice water, I'll get you (whatever they are wanting.)" - and smile when you say it (5) Tell them, "Whiners need to whine to their father." ..... Of course, ignoring them until proper behavior is manifested may also work. However, unless dad supports you in taking any corrective actions, be prepared to move elsewhere.

Answer 7

U really Q,Custy! Did U or their daddy did all this please and thank you business with them? Try influence them! Do it on purpose with them, with all this please and thank things, for a couple of months explain to them as U go along. U will have to set the example for them to follow . If they don't use this magic words,U pretend not to heard them. than tell them if they want a response? they have to use the magic words!Be patient, they will learn,eventually!

Answer 8

dont give them what they are asking for until they say please, and after the get it and they dont say thankyou just tell them, thank you is what you are suppose to say. but you have to talk to them the way you want them to talk to you.

Answer 9

ARE you planning on getting married? if so please rethink this, because not saying please or thanks you is quite minor in terms of problems with step parents/children and it's deep with emotion for all involved, I agree that common decency starts with it, but that shuld have already been there. Tread lightly