i just broke up with the most wonderful girl i ever dated,we were great together,she was understanding,kind,beutifull,great sex life,and from a good family,but when i get too deep in a relationship i freak out of the comitment and i want to move away from her! so whats wrong with me? allmost all my relatinships end up like this,but this 1 was really special for me,but i just dont see myself getting married.
2006-11-26 20:28:55 · 13 answers · asked by R.A. 1978 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Think about this... do you want to end it with every good girl that comes along?? I have a feeling you will be very unhappy jumping from one relationship to the next. Take a chance... even if you dont get married right away, just get engaged. That is a start. Good Luck!!!
2006-11-26 20:34:54 · answer #1 · answered by jasam4ever08 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrige is till death do you part or till you find a good lawyer (thats the sad part). If you dont feel that you can make that commitment you dont have to leave the relationship just let her know that you arent ready. If you have a fear that you are getting older and you want to take advantage of being in your sexual prime thats understandable. And I cant tell you to look at the long run, you have a great girl stay with her, and suffer now you will be better off. This is your life and you have to live it accordingly.
The problem is, if she is the one for you, giving her up for cheap thrills will cost you when the thrills get married and so does your "one". Do you want to have sex now? or make love forever? (having sex forever, will only make you happy when your having sex. You will sleep alone on the nights in between)
My advice to you is be honest to yourself. you may not want it now but do you really not want it ever? If she is a great girlfriend and wife potential dont lose her. You dont have to be her boyfriend, but you dont want her out of your life. Be a great friend to her, and you might even have to accept the fact that she will be dating other men. But if YOU are husband potential they will never make it far because she will be suffering from "he isnt you" syndrome. So as her friend you have to be true to the friendship this will show your loyalty. She will better understand your decision to take space for yourself to grow. This protects you because.
1. You arent leading her on by being strictly her friend.
2. If you stay a good friend, you might be able to get back together when realize that you were being dumb all those months (or how ever long you take) and that she is the one if she is.
2006-11-27 04:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by Larry C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Great sex life?" Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free? No wonder you have fears. You're selfish and that's why all of your relationships wind up like this. You're a user deep down and you don't really want to give that up. At least I should say that I strongly suspect this, and this is my humble opinion.
The only way you can have an honest relationship and enter a marriage properly is by practicing old fashioned values, sorry. You won't get anywhere living by the liberal code of life.
2006-11-27 04:31:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have a similar problem but i think it will benifit me, bc i can fall for a girl, but its like once i have it im ready to move on.. so i think it will keep me from becoming married one day.. but i want too.
You should spend time with and apart from her. Let her know your there, but also that you need space sometimes. If you really thin k it is the one don't let it get away, but if you truley think you can;t handle the commitment.. then dont trap her in when she could find someone else taht watns s a commitment and can make her happy
2006-11-27 04:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have heard bad stories about marriages that is why you are scared of getting married but i know couples that are very very happy and you can be one of those ones. If you can recognise that you are loosing a wonderful person why can you face your fear and talk to your girlfriend?. Girls we are very understandable and the best way to approach us is talking and sharing feelings. Be honest and let her know that you think she is amazing but you are a bit scared .. she will understand and wait for you till you are ready! Good luck there :)
2006-11-27 06:00:43 · answer #5 · answered by Nicky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
same here joe. I know what you feel or i may say scared of commitment. you're right. Marriage is antoher phase of man's life. it's not about playing games or hide and seek. It's about digging deeper to your purpose in this world. it's not about eating a food and then when you dont like it you throw it away. It's about giving future to your future children. All you have to do is to face the mirror, ask yourself, "Am I ready to be in tied up?". Mind you its effective. On the other hand, ask yourself again, "Is being single good or will be better for me?" Being single is not easy. Lots of questions will be brought up. They may asked your identity, etcera etcera. That's why, make up your mind joe.
2006-11-27 04:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by moshiemo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry my dear this is so normal before i get married 6 months ago i was so afraid and scared of commitment but believe me this is normal once u get married u will be happy for ur decision..take this step marry this girl before someone else does ;) good luck
2006-11-27 04:33:06 · answer #7 · answered by mimi ^____^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you telling us this???
Tell your girlfriend that you just dumped!
Sit her down and tell her from the heart what your feeling.
Maybe you need to speak to someone else too, like a psychiatrist, to get to the underlying problem!
2006-11-27 04:36:23 · answer #8 · answered by Moz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is scary for anyone but if you love someone with all your heart you will want to make that commitment to be devoted and love them forever. Its not scary if you both truley love each other. take counseling it will help.
2006-11-27 04:41:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bro u like ur life to be simple u can't do that u see u have to take chance.
2006-11-27 04:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by dip 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋