High sex drive need help!!?

Question

anyone who encounter this may help..
is sex really that important? my bf n i dated for abt half a year.. and we had intercourse soon after abt 2 months of dating. Now, i have think through and find that its better to put a stop now as i do not want unwanted pregnancy (even though we are using condom, to be safe than sorry!) We hv already stop hv'n sex for near to a month but recently he has come to me and said that he wans... but.. to me, hv'n intercourse is an optional thing in a R/S. I hv been trying to screw this into his head.. but he is feeling helpless.. bcoz he doesnt wan to do with other gals but only to me.. thats y he have been controlling until very irritated (keep on standing accordingly to him) we are both feeling helpless. How to lower or avoid sex drive? or.. how to devert his attention beside sex sex sex?? Another Q. I do not feel like hv'n sex very often.. perhaps once a month.. is that anything wrong with me?? we are both 20 n 21

Answer 1

your both20 and 21 and you have a low sex drive? this is a problem ans should be looked into. maybe some counseling for you and for your benefit, not his. At 21 years old, your boyfriend has one thing on his mind and that is sex. I have no dought that after getting it and then the sudden shut off, he has a lot of wondering going on in his mind. This will break up your relationship as he'll quit wondering and do something about this and this wont be in your best interest. Someone is going to get hurt here. Setting the ground rules from the start is one thing and should be respected but whats happening now is pure dooms-vile. At this point, you should really consider what you want in a relationship and see if this is compatible with him. I know that everyone is yelling WAIT until your married but in all reality and in the real world, sex plays a major roll in a relationship and it's a fact that sex is responsible for 80% of a relationship, counselors can tell you these facts (you don't have to take my word for it). Couples in their 20's are having sex a minimum of 5 to 6 times a week and several times a night. And just for the record, I'm truly not trying to sound like an as* hole or show you any disrespect in anyway, it's just happens that I have extensive knowledge in this area and what you said in your question sounds like a time bomb just waiting to go off and if I can help you from some heart ache of hurt feelings then this would be good right? you asked and I answered and again, I hope I didn't offen you in anyway, I'm just sharing my opinion with you. Best of luck to the both of you.

Answer 2

Well, you all needed to get this straight before marriage I would say. Now, he cheated and it was wrong. But then you are only doing everything to help it happen. Look, I think 3 or 4 times a day is excessive, but then some are like that. One of the big reasons to marry is to be able to have sex without it being a sin. Also, once married, your body belongs to your mate as much as to you. Yes, that applies in both directions and it does not simply apply to the sex organs. He should help you with his hands or whatever if you need help in something. The same applies to you. Married couples are only to refrain from sex for an agreed upon period of time, lest the person saying no causes the other to be tempted. What is it with you women? I do not get it. I mean, have you ever had a bad orgasm? Even a horrid one is good. And again, one of the few benefits of a man to marry is to have sex.

Answer 3

Males and females were not given the same strong sexual urges at the same period in life.

A guy at 20 can have a good heart, strong, and active it creates hormones to knock around. Sure activity can keep his mind off of sex. Maybe thinking more will get his mind off of sex. If he is active he may be more testoreronal. You dont want to find a way to lower his sex drive it would mean a decrease in health ask any unhealthy older guy. Sex gives a man up in time. With age and slower speed of hormonal production.

Women, sometimes after their pregnancy their hormones change and become more sexual driven. Next thing you know the are highly desirous of sex and the man does not feel like it.

Guys are just super charged at 20, it wouldnt hurt to for a guy to concentrate more on work.

Do enough research you find the situation reverses in later years.

There is nothing wrong with you, don't go thinking it or let others suggest it.

Both 20 ish but at different physical and emotional periods in life.

Answer 4

Honestly, you should stop. As sex is an important part of a relationship, it is also the worst thing for a relationship. HE wants to get off. YOU want to remain emotionally attached. Try this out: Tell him you don't want to have sex until you are married. See how he reacts. If he respects you enough to slack off, then you know that he's not in it just for the sex.

Think about it this way. If you keep having sex with him, there is a chance that you could get pregnant (you know as well as i). YOU understand the danger - your parents knowing, your school, your friends... you will probably be pressured to get an abortion, which leads to VERY complicated psychological problems, as well as potential physical problems. If you do have the baby (which you should), your whole life will be changed. Will your boyfriend understand your hardships during pregnancy? after pregnancy? Will he share those hardships with you?... or... Here's an easy way out - just stop having sex until marriage, and you won't need to go through all of the drama, and your boyfriend, your future boyfriends, and your future husband will show you that he really cares about you enough to realize that your life will go to crap... just for his gratification.

Now, as far as keeping him away - see if he'll respect your body and your life. Keep reminding him that you don't want it until marriage (it should be easy for you - you only feel the urge once a month lol), and he should keep his hands off. If not, that's all he wants out of you, and it's not worth it.

Answer 5

There isn't anything wrong with not wanting to have sex more than once a month. But to avoid unwanted pregnancy you can continue using condoms or go on the pill. Sleeping with him and then cutting off the sex completely is kinda weird. Find other things to do with him if you don't want to have sex. Good luck.

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to split... You are unfair to try and lower his sex drive...

What is wrong with anal or oral sex???

And you can go on the pill AND use a condom...

But if you really don't want sex, then break up... Let him find someone who is interested, cos the longer you deny him the more frustrated he'll get and more likely he is to cheat...

Answer 7

yep something wrong with you. Sex is a part of all adult male female relationships, and once a month at your age doesnt get it...more like once a day.

Answer 8

u are completely normal....
u see most guys are like that..they fail to understand and realise that the relationship only concerns the heart and the mind..soul but not body..
personally i think u shuld reevaluate ur situation..talk to him...and if he loves u enuf..he will understand...
or maybe u could arrange him to talk to a counselor or something

Answer 9

look alright.... now im a guy and i know how a guy can get.. but if he really loves you and cares about your relationship then sex shouldnt be a problem.. he should respect your decisions regardless or his "needs" according to him... if you dont wnat to do it then dont do it.. dont give in coz you think you need to please him....

there is nothign wrong with you... so dont think there is that ur not a horny girll...

Answer 10

Tough one. On one hand I'd say you're b/f just absolutely sucks at getting you off because if he didn't you couldn't get enough of him. I guess I don't have another hand, that's my answer..lol. Sometimes I have blonde moments.