I have fought so hard for many things yet I get little reconition. Can someone please help me understand this?

Question

It took me 10 years on and off to finish college but I did it. I graduated with honors and was given my diploma by Dr. Henry Lee. Alls I wanted was a few people at my graduation and a picture of Dr. Lee handing me my diploma, but I didn't get the people or the picture. My friend said she couldn't find me, go figure they called my name! My friends backed out for whatever reason and my family could care less! Then I took a course in a program called CERT, Community Emergency Responce Team. I graduated from this too but when it came time for the paper to place a picture, I was not in it. Two local papers, two pictures and I am not in either. I did take one of the pictures but the other I was cut out of. They mentioned 29 graduates, no names, but I would have made 30. Nope I do not exist! Little things like this hurt me especially since I do have a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone, these were huge in my life yet I got no reconition for either. I feel like a failure and am.

Answer 1

Ok, what you are experiencing is called confirmation bias, where you set up a hypothesis and look for evidence, in this case, that you are a failure. Not that what you do is a failure, but YOU! What crap that is, but I can understand your hurt feelings and anger. It is obvious that you live for others to recognize and validate you. You may be expecting too much from some people with very limited capacity for what you need. But you deserve the strokes, the recognition, the proud looks, someone validating that you did good! Well ya did. Tremendous work going to college and graduating with honors. I know. I am so sorry they didn't share this with you. I am willing to bet 1000 bucks that they didn't get their degrees. Am I right? Because it is hard to celebrate others successes when you haven't been successful in that way. But still, what is one to do? Because this is a theme for you (the victim feelings and hurt) and you can't change them, you must get that validation and understanding from someone who cares and can help. Go see a counselor. Find one that you like and let loose how pissed off you are. How deeply wounded you are. You feel invisible because people haven't validated you enough. Go and get it! Claim it! You are a grown up now and you have to find the healing now. Counseling will help I promise. And maybe those twerps will come around someday, but don't sit on your sorry butt waiting for it. You are worthy of recognition. I saw it. You are not the failure. It is the dynamics of your family system. Do not claim the garbage that isn't yours OK? Take care.

Answer 2

You call yourself a loser after everything you have accomplished. Oops your wrong there.
I can put in very simple this is life....
You know that you did well and that is all that is important. Always be the best that you can be.

Someday it will all work out for you. there is a poem that you should read called the DASH it is about what you do with your life from the time that you are born to the time that you pass away. Make the best out of your dash. I know that you would not want it to read that you thought you were a failure because no one made a fuss over you... Am I right?

Carry on with your great work.

Answer 3

You still have your degree, you just don't have the picture. I never attended my graduation at McGill University, the best in Canada (although some may disagree over this, but it is rated the best this year), and I never frowned upon it because the degree is mine for good. Sometimes we just have to let go of things in life. It can be bitter at the moment, but perhaps 20 years down the road it won't matter anymore, because by that time you will be a successful person who will be invited to take pictures with ambitious and honorable students like you once were.

Answer 4

if you do things for recognition your going to end up empty. the more success you aquire in life, the more people thing your rubbing it in there face.

Im 23 and i just graduated from the university with honors, i have a 3rd degree black-belt, i just got hired by a major coroporation with a high salary, through college i was a two time state champion in taekwondo and worked full time.

i felt a little like you did, my parents and friends were not exactly jumping out of their seats for me. if you want to be happy, just be happy doing what you like.

Answer 5

Man I feel for you. All you want is to be appreciated, if not from everyone just the core group of people around you right?

But is it worth doing something if you expect something else in return? Especially if you're in a situation where you're helping those that can't help themselves (in your case, such as it is.)

Sometimes its better not to go recognized, but rather observe said people from a distance get to enjoy life once again. Is that not the best reward?


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Hey you think you got it bad, try meeting a girl you love then realizing you don't have much to offer because you spent all your time helping others and forsaking yourself.

Answer 6

Why did you do all of these wonderful things? Sadly, if you did them to get personal recognition you have learned that you are doomed to disappointment. Do things for joy. Do what you love to do. It attracts people like a magnet.
You will notice that people who get the greatest pleasure from doing things are often also the ones who get the most attention. When you see people who are shining with joy surrounded by admirers, the joy is not because of the admirers, the admirers are because of the joy.

Answer 7

When I told my parents I was interested in going to college after many years of straight A's in high school, they just laughed and walked way. I never got to go.
So with that being said......

CONGRATUATIONS ON YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!
It's wonderful you now have the education and tools to help you support yourself in life. You can accomplish even more that you have graduated. Someday you will do something to get such recognition and your family and friends will have their jaws on the floor! YOUR TIME IS COMING AND IT WILL BE AS SWEET AT HONEY!

Be the best you can be and I promise, YOU WILL BE RECOGNIZED AND ADMIRED IN DUE TIME.

Answer 8

You are not a failure, even though you seem to feel like one...

I am a little concerned about your perspective, however...

Did you do it for yourself, or the recognition? You need to live your life for your own gratification, and NOT for what you can prove to other people...

CONGRATULATIONS, for a job well done... and hopefully next time you take on another endeavor, it'll be for your own self, and NOT for the recognition of others, (but if it is, and I'm on Y!A, I'll give it to you again...

"heart", the ENABLER...

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