help with my kids?(serious answers)?

Question

me and my husband are going for divorce since he isnt cooperating with us in the family we have had 5 kids together they are ages 13,9,6,3 and a month old how do i tell them that there is a divorce in the family? how can i cope with me and my kids living on a salary of 8000-10,000$ a month? and will anyone tell me if this is a reasonable excuse for a divorce?(my hubby is not helping with the kids one bit,i have stayed with him for 15 yrs just for the kids but he has got through anger management classes,a therapist and a pschycologist and yet he is not heping us he spanks the kids everytime they do some mistake like my 3 yr old girl leaving the tv on for 10 mins.,screaming at our month old son and constantly nagging me to move to Alaska but i cant do that because my home,family and job is here at Indiana) please people help me on this!

i didnt have a mistake with my salary but my kids are top-notch quality and i end up buying expensive stuff for them...im a doctor my husband is a biologist but he got fired by his boss so he has no job and he has now apologized but still,i wanna be away from him because he is too much naturally he spends HALF of my salary on HIMself

im a catholic but divorce is legal in USA so i jump on the chance

Answer 1

Well, I guess yours is one of the best reasons EVER to get a divorce. Especially if you will have 8000-10'000$ a month, that would be an awful lot of money to me, dear!!!
The hardest part will be how to tell the kids. I think that children are much more reasonable and understanding than you would expect, though. Sit down with them and tell them the truth, but quietly and in simple terms that they will understand and without accusing anybody of anything (it's still their father, and the only one they will ever have, if he spanks them or not).
I wish you lots of strenght to go through with it!

Answer 2

My strongest advise is to keep seeking help. Find a good family therapist (jump around until you find the right one) Comprise is the key. Why does he want Alaska? Don't let a job keep you in Indiana. You can find a job anywhere. Try to get him to compromise, this may only get done in more therapy. Don't divorce, he sounds like he is having more anger problems. Spanking is not a bad thing in the right circumstances.

You had love once, find that spark again. Don't put your kids though the misery of divorce if it can be avoided. Imagine how their life would turn upside down, going back and fourth, never really having a mom and dad, but a mom or dad. You sound like you have nice income, get some help via nanny. Spend time on your relationship, once you get that strait everything else will fall in place.

Answer 3

I think you will be fine on your salary,besides money is not everything. I was afraid i could not provide for my kids and I made a whole lot less than what you make. You do what you have to do to keep your kids safe and away from so much anger.Kids accept divorce alot better than what you give them credit for. As long as the two of you keep them out of the middle and look out for their best interest,that is what is most important for BOTH of you to do. Divorce or not. Maybe you two can resolve things and compromise? Divorce is tough,believe me. If there is anything left..salvage it. Try praying about it and seek help if you have to. A neutral mediator.God Bless and Good Luck to you all.

Answer 4

You can live on that amount. You might need to consider a smaller house though. If you have both been trying for years but its still not working, that has to tell you something. Just because he's the father doesn't mean he can verbally abuse the kids. If divorce sounds like too much, consider a seperation. Sometimes that is enough to wake up the other partner. But however it goes, ask your family to help and work hard on your new budget.

Answer 5

You will need a support group, hopefully your family or a church to help with the children....They will adjust, they are much more resilient than we give them credit for....

$8,000 to $10,000 is a lot of money in my world, and I have money! I have a net worth of $500K and my hubby and I live on $3,000 a month JUST FINE....Sure we don't have any children, but I think if you are thrifty with your money, you can live quite comfortably.....As far as your ex, I AM GLAD you are getting a divorce, he sounds awful! He is abusive and cruel if he screams at a one month old.....I am sorry you are going through this, I got a divorce from my first husband of 16 years, and it will be the toughest thing you have yet to do, but it will pass and things will look up......Just hang in there, and get on a budget and ask your family to help with the kids....Best of luck!

Answer 6

first off, kudos for getting out of the relationship! as to how to tell your kids about the divorce i think the best thing is just tell them. explain the situation in ways your kids will understand. you don't have to give all of the dirty details. but be sure to let them know that it's not their fault and there was nothing they could do to make you stay with their father. i think his mistreatment of you all is a valid reason for divorce.

i'm a bit confused about the monthly budget you posted. did you mean $800-$1,000/month? because the amount you posted seems like more than enough. also, it is against the law for your husband not to provide child support. he could go to jail if he doesn't.

i hope you have a strong support system where you are. you'll continue to need it!

Answer 7

If he is still being abusive that is very serious. You and the children don't deserve that. The monthly salary that you quoted should be plenty to take care of the children on your own if needed. Have you checked with any government agencies? Do you have any relatives that will help with some of the children? Are you prepared to live life without stress and drama in your life? Do think that time away from him will make things better for you or worse? Have you accepted Jesus into your life and cried out to him for help?

Answer 8

Start out wtih that both of you love them all but youre going to be living in different places. That even though you wont be together they will always have a mom and dad. Please try not to get into the blame game as this will really hurt the kids. Make this as loving a seperation as possible. Try to part friends. 8 to 10k a month if you think youre going to have problems get someone to help you with a budget as that is more enough to raise heathy happy kids. Good luck to you

Answer 9

$8000-$10,000 a month somehow I think you will do just fine.

As for telling the kids about the divorce, well you just have to sit them down and explain to them that it's not there fault and that you both still love them, you just can't be married any more.

Answer 10

my dear one get you and the older kids in some type of group or home couceling this will help all of you out believe me it will.read the bible to them stay close as a famliy and i know how heard this will be on the weekends if you can take some time out and do something with them go out to dinner or to a movie get out of the house as much as you can dont say anything that is not nice about there father infront of the kids and dont let anyone else say bad things to them either .hun you can make it through this pray to god for help and ill be praying as .keeping you and the kids from going nuts is the key here .do what you have to do from your hubby hurting the kids .you have to learn how to stand on your own to feet no matter what is going to happen.