Serious question about life....?

Question

my co-worker a few years ago almost died of cancer
my co-worker tried to commit suicide and lived
I almost died of a chronic illness

The suicide co-worker has rebounded, but the cancer survivor and I are dying inside. We both have drug and alcohol problems. I need some good advice.

Not that 'jesus loves you' or 'go see a counselor' but some REAL survival tips from those that have almost died before and know how to cope...

Answer 1

You are probably self medicating. Maybe you are trying to cope with some kind of internal problem. I know how it feels to not want to go to a professional and get probed with all these ideas that don't help. Try spending time with family away from the bottle. Try to focus on all the good stuff that you do when you are sober and not doing drugs. My father is a drug user and my brother was an alcoholic. I gave my brother support, told him how I felt about his drinking. I told him that I needed him to stop because it hurt me to see him sick in bed, vomiting. I hated having to nurse him. I thought my brother was going to die and I told him that he scared me when he drank and would come home almost passing out and me having to keep him up. I almost lost my brother a few times. He was depressed but I told him how much I loved him. Maybe you need someone to really tell you how it makes them feel to see you drinking or doing drugs. I told my dad that I hated him doing drugs, so he hid the drugs. He is still doing drugs and I told him I wouldn't talk to him or see him until he became clean. Professional help doesn't always do the trick. You need family and a support system. This is the only true way to kick the habbit and feel better. Try little steps. I know not from my own experience but from the experience of my loved ones. They tried professional help and got nowhere. You got to be willing to change before you can change.

Answer 2

If you don't want to see a counselor, how about AA or NA? If you don't like groups, ok, but I think your very first step towards feeling better would be getting off the drugs and alcohol, both of which mess up your mood and keep you from making any real changes.

I would then try to find something I was really interested in - a passion if you will - you would have to experiment to see what that would be for you. It might be a creative hobby, it might be learning something new, a sport perhaps. Maybe volunteer work?

Exercise is also a good mood elevater. If you want to feel good about being alive, it helps to feel your body, to have it be strong and to really experience the world through your senses.

Also, have you talked to the suicide survivor about what has worked for him/her? What is that person doing different?

Good luck - I'm glad you're alive, and I bet you will be too again soon.

Answer 3

You mentioned that you have a drug and or alcohol problem. Well there you answered your own question. First do your best to get rid of that problem and you will be amazed at how your other problems will just disappear. I have been close to death on more than one occasion. I at one time had my last rights by a priest so I think I qualify in that category. You don't need Jesus if you don't believe and well a counselor will do you no good as long as you are covering your problems up with D/A...
If you truly want to rid yourself of your problems then you know that you must quite the problem. Don't use your problems for an excuse to use. Your problems are because you use. Good luck breaking your habit. But once you do you will have fixed everything....

Answer 4

I haven't had any near death experiences, however my dad passed away last March...he was 52, and it affected me a lot mentally. I had a lot of trouble coping with his death. Since I was living 2 hours from home and I didn't have family to fall back on when I was grieving I would spend most of my time sleeping and doing other things to take my mind off of my dad. I learned later after failing out of school and wasting about 10 grand that I was bipolar, and the medication I am on at the moment basically saved my life.

I'm not saying that medicine is the answer for everyone, but professional help is never a bad way to go. If it doesn't work, they will guide you in the right direction at least. One of the things that every professional will tell you though, is that you need a strong family and friend support group. If you have people to vent issues/concerns to, and that will help you with those issues it will enable you to progress through this. With that and your best effort I'm sure you will make a lot of improvements.

Answer 5

I had a similar experience, though not for the same reasons, and found that I had gone so far down the road of my own thoughts that I was all alone. It is like looking at tree branches, and if you look at them they keep dividing and dividing until they are all by themselves out there. Not only are you alone, but you can easily be lost in thought. Thought is not alive, it is a dead place. What worked for me was learning to pay attention. Get out in nature as much as possible and look and listen. There is life and meaning in it, that you can't find in your thoughts. And if you pay attention to what you do, moment by moment, you can see yourself move, accomplish things, and do all kinds of positive things you never noticed before because you were too busy thinking about life instead of noticing it. There is a huge difference. You are blessed with awareness and consciousness that we rarely notice because we are thinking all the time. You can find your way back or out if you work on what is alive instead of always looking for what is vital in things that are not. What nourishment can come from eating off a dead carcass? Give it a try, I promise there is great reward in it. You are so much more than what you think.

Answer 6

I don't think that near death experiences are a norm and should be taken casually. I have attempted suicide many times, overdosing on drugs. I ended in the intensive care unit once. It was traumatizing enough even though I was only semi-conscience.

My wrists and arms are full of scars from cutting myself. I just believe I don't fit in this world anymore. (I still do anyway). I believe there are people who care about you and people whom you love too.

I never believe in people who tell you what you should do to yourself cos half the time they don't know how you feel even if they had gone thr' the same experience. No one feels the same. Everyone is unique.

I am jobless. My life is equally screwed up and it is painful just to stay alive everyday. My only motivation of not hurting myself (in your case drugs & alcohol) is that it hurts people who love you and whom you love.

My only strength of keeping myself alive is telling myself that when there is life, there are still chances and hope. We still don't know when things will get better but when we are dead, we can never come back again.

Take things one at a time.

Answer 7

People like you who have 'almost died' would know more about living than anyone, me included.

I've had suicidal thoughts but never any plans to do so. I've had dreams of being buried alive, scary! But I later realized they are good dreams - dying to oneself concept.

It's ok to have thoughts that are not 'ordinary'. Grieving is one way you can experience healing, growth. Know what you lost, list the items, see them clearly in your head, not just glibly say, "Yeah, i know what i lost...". "I lost all of my childhood...." , then specifically list what you lost, etc... is a good way to start.

Feel the pain, but, stop short of doing anything harmful, to yourself or others. Do this in the privcay of your own 'space' and time bc you don't want to be distracted when a 'deathly' thought comes to mind. You want to process it thruogh. Hear what you are saying in your mind. Write them down. You must know where you are in your thoughts, not just randomly feel something 'bad'.

Is this specific enough? If you need more specific help, you may email me.

You have survived near death! You can survive those daily nuisances that accumulate to stalk you again! One day at a time...

Answer 8

Uh...stop it? Lots of people have almost died, I was in an ambulance twice in one week. One for a car accident one for falling off a big rock and breaking my leg. Alcohol and drugs seem like the best way to deal with it all but its not. All they do is delay dealing with your problems when you take them. You cant blame all your problems on something else.

Answer 9

My husband was 39 when he had a heat stroke.It damaged his heart. He says now he faced his own morality and that is something hard to face for him at that time.
I had a reaction to seafood and went into anaphylactic shock,i flatlined for two minutes. It freaked me out but not in the way he took it or you and your coworker faced it. I found it calming. I didnt see any white light but I did see my dad who had been dead for years and he said its gonna be all right okay ,but it was like i could had gone with him if I wanted too.It was like a choice.
My point here is its your choice.Do you want to keep drinking or doing drugs ? Are or you ready to say I want a healthy lifestyle then what I have now. I'm sick of being sick. So go to AA and see if it helps. It is all choice.Its what you want out of life.

Answer 10

The only way your going to get help is if you help yourself. What all has your drug and alcohol problem cost you? Step up and seek help. There is no easy road, they are all hard you just have to make up your mind to do something about it. I know my words sound cruel but this is how it was put to me and I did step up and get straight now its one day at a time.