Who wanna be a Superman of comedy ? Prove by a joke !?

Answer 1

After Death,a man decides to see his long-lost friend in Heaven.On asking about Smith,the caretakers tell him,"there are about 1 million Smiths,which one are u talkin abt?"
He says,"Garnier Smith".
They say,"that narrows it down to one tenth of a million,and that's huge.Do u remember something distinct about him?"
He says,"Yea,he had vowed that if his wife ever committed adultery once,he wud spin on his heels once in heaven"
"Ah!!"..they said..."Pinwheel Smith!!"

Answer 2

Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane. The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn't survive. The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him. The pilot says to the punk "There's only one parachute left, I'll fight you for it." "That won't be necessary," said the punk, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack."

i wanna be a supergirl and not a superman. lol.

Answer 3

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show. Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host
could ask her the big question.

Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are! You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow.
"Relax honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her, "It will all be OK."

Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon."

After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!" "What is it?" she cried excitedly.

"OK. The question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' " The couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber.

At 3:30 a.m., however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly.

So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days' events, faced Jane
and asked the big question.

"Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds."

"Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. " Six seconds." "Eh, uh, the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds." "I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..."

"That's close enough!" said the game show host, "CONGRATULATIONS!!"

Answer 4

Some superman jokes here:

Answer 5

If we were in Pakistan Our options in education Programs would be.........

IIT - Islamic Institute of Terrorism

JEE - Jehadic Entrance Exam

IIM - Institute of Infiltration Management

CAT - Career in Alqueda & Taliban

IAS - Iraq After Saddam

MTech - Master in Terror Technology

GATE - General Aptitude in Terror & Extremism

IFS - Institute of Firearms and Shooting

CBSE - CrossBorder Shooting and Extremism

Answer 6

A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.

The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. He thinks for a while and says let's put, 'you are not getting older you are getting better'.

The salesman asks 'how do you want me to put it?'

The man says, Well put 'You are not getting older', at the top and 'You are getting better' at the bottom.

The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened. The entire party watched the message decorated on the cake

'You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the bottom'.

Answer 7

a burgler broke into a mans house and herd a voice "jesus is watching you." he thought nothing of it. then when he went into the bedroom he herd it again "jesus is watching you." he looked around and saw a parrot. he asked the parrot "parrot are you saying this?" "he replyed "yes" the burgler asked "are you jesus" the parrot replyed"no im moses" so he asked the parrot "what kind of person would name you moses?" the parrot said "the same person that named the pitbull jesus"


A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over.

"No," the man replied.

"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.

"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"

The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."

Answer 8

courtesy of daughter, supergirl of comedy:
A guy goes into a bar and there's a horse in the bar. He says, "hey bartender what's up with the horse?"
Bartender says, "I bring him to work sometimes, he gets lonely." "If you can make him laugh I'll buy you a drink."
The guy thinks for a minute then walks over, pets the horse, whispers in his ear, and sits back down.
The horse raises his head up and starts laughing and laughing.
Bartender says, "works for me," and gives the guy a free drink.
Next day the guy is back for another free drink.
Bartender says, "hey I gotta make a living here!" "But I tell you what, make him cry and you can have one more freebie." "Not so easy today huh pal?" Bartender grins at him.
Guy says, "can I take him in the alley?" "I wanna tell him something, but I wanna tell him in the alley."
"No funny stuff, I love my horse." "No funny stuff."
A little while later the guy comes back in leading the horse who is just crying his big eyes out.
The bartender comes around the bar worried about his horse, "What did you do to him, did you hurt him?"
Guy says, :no, I didn't hurt him honest."
Bartender says, " okay, I wanna know what you said to him yesterday and today and then we'll see about that drink."
Guy says, "yesterday I whispered to him that my b*lls were bigger than his, and today I took him out and showed him."

Answer 9

Q & A"

Question: "Who is dumber, Batman or Superman?"

Answer: " Superman, because he wears his brief on top of his cycling shorts."

Answer 10

Why did the blonde change her baby's diaper once a week?

The box said "Up to 20 pounds"