The guy I'm dating right now is 5 years older than me and had much more experience. For example, i'm still a virgin and he's definetly not. He knows I want to wait (not till marriage necessarily- just until I'm ready) and he always tells me he would never pressure me and he'll wait, ect...
but then sometimes when we're getting into it and I stop him, he gets really quite and just doesn't say anything. It seems like he's thinking so I ask him what he's thinking about and it's always nothing.
I don't know how to decipher his quiteness. I need to see this from the male prespective- Is he as okay with this as he says he is? how would you guys feel if you're used to sex but the girl won't go that far? And what is he thinking at those times of quiteness? You don't have to answer all of these necessarily, but thanks for reading :-)
2006-11-26 15:19:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not a guy but...He probably is ok with you wanting to wait - but it can be INCREDIBLY frustrating for guys to be told no once they're really horny. It actually physically hurts them sometimes - they can get so turned on that it hurts 'down there'. He probably understands that you want to wait but at the time it frustrates him a lot. On the other hand... how old are you? How long have you been together? If you are 17 or older (that's what I think is a reasonable age to start having sex) and have been together for quite a few months, he is probably starting to get annoyed. If you love each other and you feel he respects you and you are going to be responsible about contraception etc. then what's stopping you? As long as you're responsible sex isn't really a big deal in the end. It's a bit scary the first time but if you use lots of water based lubricant it doesn't hurt much and after a few times it's wonderful! It can strengthen your relationship because you get a certain closeness that you can't get any other way. Anyway - I'm sure if he really likes you and respects you then he'll wait, you just have to understand that it is definitely frustrating for him. Perhaps if you don't want to have sex with him, if you're 'getting into it' and you want him to stop, you should give him a hand job or oral sex so he can get some relief without you having to have sex with him.
2006-11-26 15:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think there's anything in the world wrong with you being a virgin at 21. That's still very young. I'm 22, getting married in a month and I'll be marrying as a virgin. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to wait for marriage. There's nothing wrong with me (inside or out), and I know I made the right decision. I don't have to worry about unwanted pregnancies, STD's, the heartbreak of multiple partners or any of the drama that comes with sleeping around. Don't feel like you HAVE to have sex, or like you're a freak because you're still a virgin. And don't feel like you have to lose your virginity to some guy who won't appreciate you or it. Wait until you're in love, when it'll mean something. I mean, you've made it this far. Sex doesn't mean love. Our society is so oversexed, it has young people believing that the only form of intimacy out there is sexual, when in reality, that's a very small percentage of human intimacy. Connect with a guy in other ways, such as emotionally and intellectually before you connect with him physically. And, if he's put off by you being a virgin, then he's a jerk. Move on and take confidence in who you are and why you are that person.
2016-05-23 07:36:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're doing is right. No one can pressure you to have sex! Guys will always think of sex no matter what, so I admit we guys get a lil' bit frustrated if we don't get one. But hey! If I care about the girl, I would wait until she's ready. Take it one step at a time...
2006-11-26 15:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Sportivo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For me, I will respect my partner decision. If she don't want sex, I wont force on her. Of course, I will get horny or what when both together, especially doing those 'warm-up' preparation before sex, like kissing, touching etc... But still, i will control and won't force on her if she doesn't wants it. I guess between a relation, sex is important...but not neccessary... If he really loves you, he will control it...
2006-11-26 15:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by porridge0000 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
same with my bf, (2 yrs older more experienced) and he says he will respect my decision to wait, but he tells me he gets really frustrated because of it. so i dont know i think ur guy is gettin frustrated for it but it doesnt mean he will leave u or anything.
2006-11-26 15:22:06 · answer #5 · answered by Beca <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most erotic pleasure is not involved in sex. Try using ur tongue.... he'll love it!
2006-11-26 15:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by Chrissy M 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
one of the best questions ..I've seen out there....let me know when U get a good answer...
2006-11-26 15:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by sam 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋