She's really never done this before. How strict do you think my husb. and I should be on this? We are Christian, should we use this as a tool, or nip it in the bud right away with punishment? How strict would you be?
2006-11-26 15:09:55 · 7 answers · asked by Lily P 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Firstly, remember that all kids, especially preteens and teens, lie. So addressing this openly and directly is a good idea. Avoid attacking, being harsh, or over-reacting. Something like, "You know when I was your age, I.... or "I think you are a good person, yet being untruthful about this situation hurts me and makes trusting you difficult" or "I wish you would let us know why you feel a need to be dishonest about....."I promise not be angry if you promise to just talk about.....when you are ready"....
What's important is modeling your values in addressing this, and to teach her how dishonesty leads to other life problems. Normalize it because everyone lies. Using teaching and understanding over punishment is the best solution to build positive self esteem, etc, although if this becomes excessive, seek professional help (not someone at church) and apply the appropriate punishment (like taking away things). This age does well with a therapist to vent feelings and thoughts about developing and changing and social situations. Read "All About Girls" by Gurian ... Excellent Book that will help in the coming years as well.
Hope this helps!! God Bless....
2006-11-26 15:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ground her from her friends, TV, phone and computer (Other than for homework) for a week for the first offense. Add a week for every other time she does it. She lies 5 times, that's 5 weeks that she is grounded. Hopefully she would learn her lesson before it gets to that point. Let her know that if she does something wrong and lies about it that she will get in even more trouble for lying than telling you the truth in the first place.
2006-11-26 15:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My oldest who just turned nine started lying. So what we did was to take away her things, like her dvd's, brat doll, etc. Also, we stressed to her the importance of telling the truth. Why it was wrong, and not only did we not like it, but it is something that angers God as well. She's gotten better, and when she does lie, we give her a chance to correct herself. We'll ask her if she's telling the truth, and if she isn't she won't get in trouble for telling us while she has the chance. That always works.
2006-11-26 15:23:07 · answer #3 · answered by lillypietown 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me, lying is a very bad habit that should be nipped in the bud ASAP. I don't yet have any kids so can't offer you advice except good wishes and observe good answer left by experienced parent.
2006-11-26 15:18:57 · answer #4 · answered by Step into the Freezer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I raised three daughters. One of my cardinal rules from the time they were small was that if you lied to me you got spanked. Then we would look at whatever you lied about. But the lie always got you a spanking. It worked for us.
You do need to find out why she is lying though. Perhaps she's afraid of what you'll do if she tells the truth? What is the issue?
2006-11-26 15:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to assert it yet she would choose expert help. some individuals are in basic terms like that- they lie and this is uncontrollable. some do not even understand they are doing it till they start and with the aid of that element, they proceed interior the lie because of the fact they are too embarrassed to tell the certainty and the lie keeps turning out to be. She would be a compulsive liar. If she is, this is not your fault and it has not something to do with something you may administration. She in basic terms desires to get some expert help.
2016-10-13 04:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by lipton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on her personallty what i mean ismany punishments effect poeple differently, and being strict should be used if she continuess this behavior
2006-11-26 15:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by nataliaschick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋