I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years but im jealous?

Question

i just broke up with my live-in boyfriend of 5 years. i think i made the right decision, but i get really jealous thinking about the fact that soon he'll be dating other girls. i get so jealous and angry when i think about this that sometimes i consider getting back together with him just to keep him away from other girls. how can i feel better about this? i'd love to hear from other people who ended long-term, serious relationships. is this feeling a sign that i made the wrong choice?

Everyone's answers so far are amazing and intelligent. Thanks for answering. For a little more background, we're recent college grads and the main reason for the break-up was that I realized we were too young for such a long relationship, and I was getting scared of ending up married to him and him being my only experience with guys...I guess that makes my fear of him meeting new girls a little more hypocritical...

Answer 1

That's really hard. Breaking up has got to be one of the hardest things in the world. I'd rather get over a broken arm.

You might still be feeling territorial. I think it's natural, but there is nothing you can do about it. The only thing that helps is time. Some days are harder than others. Emotions make the days seem impossibly long. Occupy yourself with healthy distractions. Focus on yourself. Don't worry about him with other girls. He is probably having a hard time right now, too. So be happy for him if he meets someone else. It will be a long time before someone can be a part of his life the way you were.

Your feelings don't indicate that you've made the wrong decision. You have been living together a long time and he is a part of your routine and your self-image. In this kind of break-up you are changing your entire life. Such a huge change creates a vacuum and all the feelings that begin to fill it are bound to be distressing.

Answer 2

This may have to do with how you feel about yourself. I'm no expert but whether you broke up with him or not has little to do with it. What does seem to matter is that you don't want anyone else to have his attention. You can't have it both ways but I think you know that and I'm sure you are aware that going back with him would be the wrong choice.

Finding someone to talk with about your feelings would be a good idea. 5years may be al ong time (depending upon your age). Maybe you just need some re-entry time and some talk-through. If you are going to take yourself out of the picture you need to be able to let him put someone else in it. You might consider getting a date yourself or some counseling. This is not really an abnormal reaction and I have experienced it myself. If it continues for long, or causes you problems try the above. Good luck, honey.

Answer 3

No I don't think it's a sign you made the wrong choice at all. I am now married and have been for nearly 3 years but when I was in my teens to my early twenties, I was with a guy I lived with for 5 years. We were best friends but as we had gotten together just out of high school, by the time we finished our degrees at university, we'd totally grown apart. Anyway at the end of uni, we decided to go overseas and we went to separate destinations. Six months prior to this I was thinking of ending it as I knew I thought more of him as a best friend than I did a boyfriend. But I was terrified to end it because I feared the effect on our friendship and the thought that some other girl would soon take my place.
What I realised though, was that I was basically trying to cling to the familiarity of the situation - I was afraid of the unknown as you tend to be when you're only in your early twenties, and I was frightened of having to tough things out on my own (seeing as it had been 5 years since I had to do that). It's hard, I won't lie, but you've done yourself a favour. You've liberated yourself and now you can live your life and be choosy about who you date and hopefully (if you're interested), find someone much better suited to yourself. You WILL be jealous of your ex's new girlfriend and no matter what, you will marvel at how much worse he has it with her (hehehe) but you'll get over it and move on.

Answer 4

I dont think that its a sign saying that you made a wrong choice. I believe that this is showing you that you still have feelings for him. I dont know why you broke up but it must have been a good enough reason if it was a long term relationship. You should just move on. I know it's easier said then done but just do your hardest. Be honest with yourself although it may be hard and it hurts but remember you two are over. Caring about him isn't bad but being jelous isn't right either.I think your still emotionaly attached to him and need to let go. You being jelous doesn't do him or even you any good.

Answer 5

I just broke up with my live in boyfriend too...unusual circumstances...but the right thing....It's just cause it's new...you are alone and he is all you know right now. If you don't want him you have to let him be happy too...don't be selfish and try to keep him when you know deep down you really don't want him. Not fair to him...if you really cared about him at all you'll let him move on and as soon as you do you will be able to too...Here to talk if you need to.

Answer 6

Its comprehensible you're under pressure, a brilliant area of your life in basic terms replaced enormously. i think of formerly you think of roughly gettin back with him or not is to confront the jealousy subjects on your individual. To come back mutually now in basic terms thoughts up the place you left off. you have some severe believe subjects, bein mutually daily hasn't helped - you at the instant are not learnin to believe one yet another you're in basic terms consistently 'supervisin' one yet another whether you savor bein mutually. you'll be finished with out somebody else, you in all probability experience worse now than you may on the grounds which you have spent 5 years tellin your self that not in basic terms are you able to not be with out this individual yet you ought to spend prevalent with them - on the grounds which you cant believe them and because you cant bear to be aside. provide your self it gradual to quiet down, i understand its been a pair of days yet interior the grand scheme of life thats the blink of an eye fixed to be commiting your self back into something you havent yet been waiting to artwork out. take it gradual to get to understand your self, how do you experience approximately why you cant believe ppl? What makes you jealous? take notice that now you at the instant are not usin lots ability to visual reveal unit over somebody else and stressin them watchin u, and relax somewhat... in basic terms once you have confronted those issues are you able to're making a greater robust relationship - with ur ex or with somebody else. in any different case the comparable subjects that have been troublin your final relationship will creep in returned interior the subsequent and next. solid success x

Answer 7

u should try and get another guy and move on in life or if u feel that u still have feelings for him get back together but dont get back together just cause u dont want him to seee other girls thats not fair for him

Answer 8

It seems that your confidence has taken a battering.my advice is instead of thinking who he is going out with, Perk yourself up,go to the gym,buy some new clothes, go somewhere you can meet new people and think positive.

Answer 9

NO, NOT REALLY. IF YOU KNOW IT WAS ALL FOR THE BEST TO END THE RELATIONSHIP, THEN SO BE IT. YOU MY LOVE, ARE SELFISH! YOU CAN'T JUST WANT HIM TO KEEP THE OTHER GIRLS FROM HAVING HIM. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL! IT'S SIMPLY NOT FAIR EITHER. YOUR'E GOING TO CONTINUE TO DATE, AREN'T YOU? O.K. GET OVER YOURSELF AND LET THE MAN GO....YOU DIDN'T WANT HIM!

Answer 10

Get over it and move on !