Honest people only?

Question

Me and my sister do get along. I am the most honest sbiling to her, and I have her back but if she is wrong I will tell hershe is. She is always there when I need help, but she always want to make me look bad toward my parents and siblings. I will be the first person she disregard in the family, but I will never do that to her. She claims I do not give her respect, but I think maybe my honesty is misunderstood by her. I sick of tired of being treated this way. What should I do? Should I stop being honest to her? I confronted her about this issue and she will not change. Maybe my honesty is looked as being rude. How can I aviod this conflict?

What do you think is the problem?

Answer 1

First of all, you cannot change people. No matter how much you want to. She is bothered by your honesty, yes. She obviously can't handle what you say or tell her. I would avoid saying or telling her anything anymore. That would eliminate any repercussions. If she asks about something, say, "I don't know" and walk away. She's better off not knowing. Some people just are and she is one of them apparently. Things like this can be misunderstood or taken the wrong way. Maybe she just wants to fend for herself. But just not answering her questions will avoid this conflict altogether. She may respect you more. Who knows. Good luck.

Answer 2

OK, how about this... why don't you ask her why she says you do not give her respect, and then try really, really listening. When she stops speaking, say, "Is that all?" Then listen some more. Wait until she's said everything and after you say "Is that all" she says "Yes." Then repeat back to her everything she's said, and say, "Do I have that right?" Keep repeating it back until she says that you've got it right. Then she'll feel that you really listened and aren't just arguing with her. After that, if you want to be "honest" ask yourself first if it will be something that is helpful or hurtful, and avoid anything that's just hurtful. After all that, if you want to say something and you think it's helpful, start with something kind, then say the honest thing, and then finish with another kind thing. For example, "You have really beautiful hair. However, I think your skin would look better if you took off all your makeup each night so it had a chance to breathe. But your face is still beautiful to me no matter what." Doing all this will really work.

Answer 3

Ever heard the saying "you can't handle the truth"? Well obviously, your sister can not handle the truth. Continue to be honest with everyone. You have a great quality there because there are so many liars in the world. To avoid conflict with your sister is not to say anything. When she asks you for advice, just say "I don't know". If she is wrong about something, then just let it be. Some people would rather be lied to than to hear the truth. Since you are an honest person, then don't talk to her.

Answer 4

Maybe she sees you as better than her so she will make you look bad in front of your parents. Maybe she thinks your parents prefer you over her so is trying to compensate for this by making you look bad. Being honest is good, but you have to be careful how you approach this. Being brutally honest can come across as rude or better than others or that you think you have all the right answers. You have to be honest in a loving way. Make sure what you are saying to her is for the right reasons.

Answer 5

There is no such thing as brutal honesty, only brutal and only honesty. Perhaps you might only express your honest opinion when she asks for it. If you see her going in the wrong direction, unless she asks let her find out for her self. Perhaps she does see your words as criticism rather than an honest observation. which you still may make just not verbalize. Soon she will come to you more often as you are very valuable to have around, just not all the time in you face

Answer 6

I think that even if she is being unfair to you, you must understand that you cannot change her. She is your sister, so it's not like you are going to stop talking to her. Maybe you are being honest with her on things that make her insecure and that is why she lashes out on you. You should ask her why she acts this way and if she is unsure about something, tell her that you will always be there for her. If she is unwilling to talk about it, I think you just have to let it go. Set it straight though: that you mean to help not to criticize--she'll probably come around.

Answer 7

Well if you are getting along good then talk to her about this....she may have sibling jealousy towards you and I wouldn't stick up for her so much either. Let her do it herself she may take that as your sucking up to her more than doing her a favor?
We always gotta remember that not everyone thinks the same...so your favors might be her bothered feelings? Maybe she wants to fend for herself? And that's the respect she is pertaining to. Good Luck it seems like you will be able to work this out....just remember to HEAR what she says....

Answer 8

You have few options, because you must treat her honorably. She's your sister and you shouldn't be vengeful or manipulative, but you should confront her and let her know that your intentions are for the both of you to have a good relationship. If it doesn't get better, perhaps you should discuss with your parents and ask for advice or draw boundaries with your sister. You don't need to let her hurt you when it's avoidable by not letting her in.

Answer 9

The truth hurts, and often times most people would perfer being lied to and may very well see the truth as disrepect. How to avoid telling the truth? I'd hate for you to turn into a pathalogical liar. I think you should just be who you are, if she doesn't like your opinion, she'll stop asking for it.

Answer 10

well, I would back off when you come to defend her. Let her figure out the situation before you chime in. Maybe she wants to do things for herself. Don't stop being honest, just give her a little room and when she asks for your opinion give her your honest opinion. I hope this helps! :)