How do you deal with a racist family?

Question

I'm half mexican and half Italian but I'm currently dating a guy who is white ( dutch and german decent), I introduced him to my family and my father(who is mexican) told me to break it off because "he's white and won't fit in". I didn't now they keep on making comments about it and my brothers almost got inot a fight with him. I think I love him, how do I get them to just accept it?

Answer 1

I am British. My wife is Cuban. Really, born in both countries, not the USA.

BOTH SIDES of the family do not get along with the other side. We married each other, not the family. BOTH sides of the family tried to stop the marriage. We have been married for 30 years.

We decided that we are marrying each other, not our parents, sisters, uncles, etc, etc.

Too bad for them. They do not want to have much to do with us. But we get along just fine.

Answer 2

Getting people to overcome prejudice is very difficult indeed, especially when it's your own family. Chances are, the guy's parents might feel the same way about you. There are many mixed marriages that are very successful, and manage to combine the interracial families to fit in and respect the cultural differences. Tell your parents and siblings that it's not only possible, but there are many mixed families that actually enjoy getting together for holidays and birthdays, etc. If this relationship is for real, and you and this guy really love each other, perhaps your parents will learn to accept him in time. He will have to do his part also to get them to know and accept him. I'm sure he is mature enough to be able to speak for himself and on his own behalf. If they see he's a gentleman and treats you right, they might soften their negative attitudes. I wish you both the best of luck. Incidentally, Mexican people are considered to be caucasian. In other words, "white". Did you know that? Your father is as white as your boyfriend, and so are you. I hope that will help your situation.

Answer 3

Just try and be discreet with him (I know you shouldn't have to hide your love or duck and dive like your having some sordid affair) but if you love this guy you don't want him to get hurt and it would be easier on you if your family don't have it shoved in their faces.

Hopefully in time when they see this guy makes you happy they will realise that that is all that counts and no matter what skin tone or background he comes from he is your choice and not theirs.

We are after all the same species just a different colour!

Answer 4

well honestly honey are you old enough to go off on your own... if you are then you might have to love him all by yourself i mean family will not always have your back as some people may think.

for one thing what is it about him that makes them have anything to say, is he bad or beats you if not color is an issue then you must explain to them that you are not concerned with color

you must also let them know that, education is the key to accepting someone. tell them that he can learn all he needs to know about your culture and who you are and gain a deep respect for you and your family.

But you said that you THINK that you love him????

well lets see it looks to me like your family has a huge impact on the way you feel about him now and i think that you need to step back and ask your man how he feels abot having to deal with a situation like this and if he love s you ask much as ytou love him.

comunicatiuon is the key to happiness good luck email me if oyu want to talk more

good night

Answer 5

Tell them,that you want to keep seeing this guy,to see if you really love him. The more pressure they put on you to break up,it is more likely that you will make the wrong desision and get married and then divorced.
Ask your father how difficult it was for him with your mothers side.The colour of your skin does not mean a thing.It's how he treats his daughter he should be more concerned with.

Answer 6

You have to do what makes you happy. As with any relationship, it's about the two people in the relationship. People that are still racist are completely ignorant and pathetic. Continue to experience LIFE!!! This world is not black and white. Your father should be proud that you are not blind to the beauty that this world has to offer...

Answer 7

Unfortunately, you can't make them just accept it. You can do your best to explain to your family how much you care about this guy, but in the end you can't force your family to not be racist.

Hopefully your family will grow to accept your boyfriend over time, but there is no guarantee that this will happen. In the meantime, you need to decide how much you care about him and if he is worth the friction he will cause with your family.

Good luck with your decision and I wish you all the best.

Answer 8

You really cant. Either you continue seeing him or you dont at this point. I would NOT bring him over your house anymore, more for his life. You know..you could argue that ITALIAN is considered WHITE!!! So wouldnt he be hyportical to say he does not belong in the family?? If you love him, then continue see him, but dont expect any family support.

Answer 9

This sounds like west side story! Do what I do - ignore them! I always say I married my wife, not her family - this guide also comes in handy when the in- laws start asking for favours and money!

But more to the point, when you're in a relationship, love is blind, and you cant see it from their angle. They may be worried that this guy just wants to 'try out' a latin chick, but when it comes to settling down, he will go for a girl from anglo-saxon ancestry. Has he taken you to see his family yet? . Alarm bells should be ringing in your head muchacha.

Answer 10

Make your family listen to the song "Don't Call Me White" - By Nofx. Then explain to them the racist attitude their holding, which is no better than the guy considering your family "Hispanic". It's bloody ignorance on their part. Either they need to accept it, or they can go blow it out their ***.