recent child molestation?

Question

on the day before this Thanksgiving my wife dropped off my daughter (6 yrs old) at my parents house to spend the day. My step-mother was not home but only my father. 5 hours would go by before step-mom got there from work. when she got home my daughter confronted her with the comment "grandpa licked my privates" in an ignorantly blissful way. my step-mom without haste questioned my father. My father, age 53, admitted it stating through the tears "I don't know why I did it, I'm sorry." At that my step-mom takes my daughter to a safe place (her dads house), great grand-dads house and calls my wife and myself. Hearing the news we rush out the door to confront my father. on the way I call 911 (I was scared I would kill him, understandably) we didnt get to see him that night , luckily for him. Instead we were instructed to take my daughter to the emergency room to get samples and evidence. since then our lives have been in shambles. What to do while we're waiting for the results?

Answer 1

omg!! I feel so bad 4 u! I would hate my dad if he done that i think that u should just visit ur dad, ask him why he done that, and just wait for the results

Answer 2

First I would like to say I am so sorry for you and your family,This whole thing is going to be hard on your whole family,Your daughter the most,but since this was your Dad it is going to be harder,I would say don't have contact with him,Don't let him manipulate you or any of your family,Being molested is a hard thing I am a survivor of family molestation.It started when I was around 3 and yes I remember it all,and it went on til I was 14,I am so glad that your daughter went to her grandmother with this.The best thing you can do while you have to wait,is to talk to your daughter about it,let her know none of this was her fault.Make sure she knows how proud you are of her for coming forward,and make sure she always will come to you with things.Be there for each other and talk about how you feel about things don't hold it in.That will just cause problems.Stay away from your dad if he isn't in jail,which I hope he is.Good luck I know thing will get better for you all.

Answer 3

I am speechless,after reading your question.One always thinks "it happens to others,not to me"...and here is a prime example of what a second of disorientation,confusion,
selfish need,hunger,lust,want etc can create...Your father snapped...sick,yes.Boredom?The exitement of Danger? Who knows what went into his mind at that precise moment,when he crossed over the border of decency and sanity and did the unspeakable.....
He really needs treatment,counseling,mental help.He is your father,after all.He did the unspeakable,committed an unforgivable sin,but he is your father.
Sometimes children feel the anger and distress from "their" adults,and it makes the whole thing a never forgettable happening....All gets up into another level of stress and fear.Counseling for all of you,absolutely.But you must be able to love your father too,even though he crossed the line...but never trust him with your daughter again!
Trying to see all sides in this.Seems everybody reacted the way they should.Just keep your daughter active and focused on other things,until she can get the counseling..that goes for you too...go see new places,play new games,re-paint a room...do some artwork,that is great therapy.All will fall into perspective after a while..I hope all of you get help and comfort.God Bless and Protect you and yours...

Answer 4

I am very sorry that has happened to you all. Your step-mom sounds like a very good person as she believed the child instead of brushing her off. As for your father....make sure charges are pressed and you stick to them. Once he gets out of jail, he will never be allowed contact with her and will be labeled as a sexual predator and his where abouts will have to be listed at all times with the police.

Now for your question. You, your wife and daughter need to get into counseling immediately! I suggest counseling for your family as a group and then for you and your wife either separately or jointly. Your child will need this and may withdraw if not now perhaps in years to come. If you know someone in social services ( I am sure they have contacted you already) ask them who would be a good counselor for a child her age.

I applaud you and your wife for teaching your child to tell another adult when something like this happens and to know it was wrong.

As far as the pervert goes.....somehow it makes me wonder if he hadn't done this to someone prior to this time as I do not see how he "all of a sudden" decided to molest your baby.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Try not to freak out for your daughters sake she is young but she will pick up on things, try even though it is very hard, to go back to normal, thing is this cant change your whole life. If so your daughter might end up blaming herself for whatever might happen in the family. Just remember, your daughter is the more improtant thing right now, not hating your dad or wanting to kill him.

Answer 6

You be strong and take care of your daughter.. I can't imagine what you are going through, and how much will power it's taking for you not to hunt the man down and kill him.. But just be there for your daughter - that all you can or should do right now. I hope everything turns out alright, good luck!

Answer 7

Remind yourself that your daughteris safe now and nothing bad is happening to her. Let go of fear and anger for the moment and be with your daughter and keep life as normal as possible. Avoid anger for this young child most likely will interpret that she is the cause of the anger. Let her talk about her experience if she brings it up and listen. Find professional help from a counsellor ASAP.

Wishing you well in this troubled time.

Answer 8

I think you are hanfling it well because if it was my daughters I would be histerical. But now you need to help your daughter deal with it and put your feelings aside because she is going to need a lot of help of getting through this. I was molested as a young girl and because I didnt tell my parents it messed me up. So I think that you should put her through counseling

Answer 9

I think that u should talk to her grandfather about counsleing, I think that that is so wrong and needs to be discussed. As for your daughter, try to cope with it,try to get her counsleing, and help her to understand why this has happened to her.