6 yr old daughter still wets the bed but 4 yr old son doesn't?

Question

we have tried everything! she doesn't drink extra at night or anything like that and we finally decided that pull-ups were only going to be a crutch and that she would never learn but she is still wetting the bed almost every night no matter what time she gets to bed. my son is 4 and goes all night--he never wakes in the night to get up to use the bathroom and when my daughter wets the bed it obviously doesn't even wake her up--suggestions?

Answer 1

Your son and daughter are two different children. Please don't compare them in this area. Just because one's body is ready to be night dry at a certain age, does not mean the other has the same capability. It can be completely normal for some children to wet the bed up to age 9 or 10!

Have you taken her to the doctor? I'd suggest you have a urinalysis done and and ultrasound to make sure that all her plumbing is in working order. Ask your family doc for a referal to a urologist. Consider seeing a chiropractor and starting DHA supplements as well.

Our stuggle with enuresis

Keithen turned 7 years old in February and still wets the bed at night and sometimes has accidents during the day. Here is a little about our journey with enuresis.

When my son turned 5 he was bedwetting every night and having at least one, usually more, accidents each day. Our family doctor did a urinalysis to make sure he didn't have any infections or anything and that came back normal. He referred us to a urologist. The urologist put him on Ditropan. He also ordered an u/s. I filled the perscription and waited a bit, unsure if I wanted to give it to him. We decided to wait on the u/s, feeling pretty sure that this was not physical but instead a discipline one. (Didn't care if he was wet...wouldn't stop what he was doing to go...engrossed in play...we saw a pattern to when accidents happened...etc.)

That wasn't working so we tried the meds - I think we did a total of 3 doses of Ditropan. He HATED it. There was no pretty color or flavoring to it to make it palatable to kids. It smelled very strong and tasted nasty. The side effects were horrible. He would get dizzy and he fell asleep in the middle of the day. With the start of Kindergarten coming up soon, I felt the side effects were unacceptable. I didn't want him getting sleepy like that when he was in school and he was simply not himself on the medication. We stopped them - like I said I think we tried 3 doses. We struggled through the rest of the year on our own.

Around his 6th birthday, someone on the Mothering boards suggested chiropractic to me as a treatment for enuresis. We were open to the idea and decided it was worth a try. Through a network of local mothers, we found a chiropractor with special training in treating kids.

We started treatments 3 times per week. This did seem to help. The first time that he woke up dry, I honestly cried. I was so happy for him to see that he was making progress. And I was so relieved that maybe we had found an answer. At our next appointment I had to choke back tears of joy and relief as I told our chiropractor our good news. I even asked to give him a hug because I was so deeply grateful for the help he had given my son.

Shortly after staring treatment, he was waking up dry about once every two weeks - a huge accomplishment compared to how things had been! And his number of daytime accidents decreased. Around this same time we had a checkup with our family doc and with his urologist. We refused to try the meds again because of the side effects. We reported that the chiropractic treatment was helping and agreed to do an ultrasound. The ultrasound came back normal.

As his chiropractic scans got better and his accidents decreased, his visit frequency decreased. After a couple of months of chiropractic treatment, our chiropractor suggested that we try DHA supplements. These made a HUGE difference for us. This was probably the point that nighttime accidents went down to once a week or so. Daytime accidents at this point were reduced to ones that seemed undeniably behavioral (only wetting while playing on the computer). We were doing so much better!

You may wonder why the DHA supplements were recommended and how they help. Children with enuresis have increased levels of prostaglandin E2 and nitric oxide. Omega-3 fatty acids are known to inhibit the synthesis of prostaglandin E2 and renal nitric oxide. Bed-wetting children have an underdeveloped region of the brain that controles nighttime micturition (as noted by their inappropriate startle response). Omega-3 fatty acids play a critical role in the development of and function of the CNS including micturition control and startle response. Nations with the lowest prevalence of bed-wetting children consume more than double the fish/seafood as compared to the nations with the highest prevalence of bedwetting children.

A week before his 7th birthday, I was frustrated once again. He had backslid. He was no longer cooperating with taking his DHA and he was wetting the bed almost every night. (He still wears pullups to bed.) He had been having a daytime accident several days per week again. I still think those are mostly behavoral - tied in to computer/gameboy/etc. - activities where he is super focused. Chiropractic visits are now only once every 2 weeks as his body looks good, so I don't think the increase in accidents was due to a physical problem.

We have gone through periods of taking his Gameboy away waiting for him to go a week with no daytime accidents. A month after he turned 7, things seemed to be looking up. He was having occasional dry nights and was having more dry days than wet ones.

I think I do need to get him back on the DHA on a regular basis as the drop in the DHA levels in his body may be creating some of our problems (at least the night-time part). I may have to find ways to sneak it into his food if he continues to avoid taking the pills. We had to stop seeing the chiropractor back in April because we couldn't afford it anymore. He has definately regressed since then. :-( I wish we couldn afford to go back to regular adjustments.

In Kindergarten he only had 2 or 3 accidents at school all year long. Last year, in first grade, I think he had 2 or 3 accidents at school which were "giggle pees" when he was laughing too hard with a friend in gym class and at a class party. He's had 2 accidents at school/on the bus so far this year in 2nd grade. I'm relieved that it hasn't been a big problem for him at school. I remember that my cousin was "that kid" in grade school who was always being sent to the class for clean clothes. I remember the stigma that it can carry to be the "stinky kid" who wets his pants. I am thankful that he doesn't seem to be dealing with that at school.

I hope our experience helps some other families out there who are struggling with this problem. I know I am eternally grateful that we found chiropractic and the DHA supplements to help our son instead of going the traditional medical route with the prescription drugs.

Answer 2

Just some suggestions. Try waking up at night and waking her up at night to use the potty. (almost like having a newborn again) but our pediatrician recommended this. If you have to, carry her to the potty and make her go a couple times a night. If she does wet the bed, make her pull the sheets off and help put the new ones on. And I've never used this but a lot of people swear by it. They now have bed wetting alarms that attach to the childs underwear and the first sense of wetness they go off waking the child so they can get up and use the bathroom. Here's some links::

http://www.drconcannon.com/BEDWETTINGALARMS.htm

http://www.peejs.com/products/bedwetting_alarms.htm

You can find alarms of all prices with some looking around or ask your pediatrician what he recommends.

Answer 3

My son is 7 and still wets the bed as well. I have a 2 year old that has been potty-trained since he was 1 and 1/2. His Doctor thinks that his bladder has grown slower than normal, and that in time it will catch up and correct itself. He reccomended that we don't make a big deal of it- basically, if we make it an issue it will become one. I think if the pull-ups make her more comfortable, let her use them. Lots of children wet the bed and it can be quite embarassing. I would do everything you can to show that you think she is normal and that she doesn't have a "problem", it's just the way her body is growing. We all grow differently! But of coarse, mention it to her Doctor just to assure there is nothing else going on!

Answer 4

She might be having nightmares or if there is any new changes that she's not use to like if you and your husband have been aguring or someone has moved in ect that could be it to or she could just have a problem contorling her blatter get her checked to make sure and if nothing is wrong ( and even if there is ) set ur alarm for ever 3-4 hours to get up and take her to the bathroom she will stop being the bed and her body will get used to this and she will start getting up on her own to use the bathroom ( my mom did it with us when she was potty traning us and never once did we wet the bed unlis we was REEEEEEEEEEALY sick )

Answer 5

First, do not compare your son and your daughter to each other. They are both individuals with individual needs. What your daughter is experiencing is something called nocturnal enuresis. This is not an issue of her misbehaving or needing to learn how to stay dry at night. She literally can not help it. There are many reasons for bed wetting and none of them are the child's fault. This will be something she will need lots of patience, understanding, and gentleness in dealing with as she will outgrow it, but it will be a cause of great frustration for her. Let her have the Pull-ups or the Good-nights. These are not a "crutch" for her, but a necessity. Please read this website for excellent information on bed wetting http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/enuresis.html.

Answer 6

Remember - I know it's frustrating, but it's not their fault. They are deep sleepers, you could pinch them and they still wouldn't wake up. They sleep so deep they pee w/o even realizing it. Go see a specialist ASAP, and not that you do but NEVER punish for this, it's out of her control. They have those "good nights" underwear now which i hear work wonders. I had a bed wetting problem growing up, It didn't stop until I was 14 I remember seeing a doctor who told me that some adults still have that problem.
Good Luck

Answer 7

Yes, you need to consult the pediatrician. There could be other issues at hand. I was diagnosed with a spastic bladder, where the bladder would go into spasms while sleeping. The alarm thing, although worked most of the time, was, in my opinion, cruel. There were times i slept through it. Stress in a kid's life could add to it. When i went to visit my grandparents for a week.. never wet the bed. (Parents divorced by the time i was 10). Don't wait to get help. My parents started to get me help at the doctor's before i was 5.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Be the parent and wake her up every two to three hours and make her go to the bathroom. Good nighties are not crutches they give her some dignity. And look into buying a rubber or plastic fitted sheet to protect the mattress. And most important don't scold or embarrass her it will only give her self-esteem issues.

Answer 9

Your child might have a sleep disorder. Have you spoken to your Pediatrician about this problem? Bed wetting can be caused by many things including sleep apnea . Bed wetting can be hereditary and treated with a nasal spray called desmopressin which doesn't "cure" the child but provides relief until the child grows out of it (which she will).

Answer 10

It soumds like she is a very deep sleeper and does not feelthe urge while she's sleeping. I used to wake up many mornings in cold pee and was very confused. It was something I grew out of when I got older and didn't sleep as soundly. It also really helped me to limit fluids late at night. I hope you have a matress protector. I don't see a problem with having her help you change the sheets but I wouldn't humiliate her.

Answer 11

every kid grows at his/her own pace. you can take her to the doctor to check that nothing is realy wrong with her. if nothing is wrong then she will out grow it. look into goodnites, and check their website for more info. on the goodnites site they can give tips about talking to doctors, info on the diffrent meds out there (what to use and what not to use, what the doctors never tell you). and you can get support from other parents who are going through the same thing. 4-7 million kids wet the bed, 90% out grow it by age 10.

ps, i am 17. and i still have a wet bed once in a blue moon, this site helped me out a lot, and talking to my doctor did too.