And I find myself torn between two paths here, one alone and one with her. But I am waiting for HER to choose. And while I'm waiting here, I find myself thinking of things I want to say to her, ways to really express myself, and it hits me that I want to tell her how much I love her and want to be with her. BUT in the same breath, I want to tell her she's being a selfish *****, that her indecision is breeding contempt and resentment in me for her, and that she ought to think twice before she assumes any guy as nice, as caring, as into her as I am is going to come around and WAIT for her to make up her ******* mind, she really is CRAZY! Should I feel bad for even thinking like that? B/c I honestly feel better just writing that down.
2006-11-26 12:49:33 · 7 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First step. Don't feel bad, don't want to start a relationship off by feeling uncomfortable speaking your mind do you?
Second step. Tell her everything.. everythign you just wrote.. maybe not as harsh. You need to be completely open and honest with her.
Third step. Tell her you love her, but you aren't going to wait for her forever. Why wait... is she trying to avoid a breaking her heart? Trying to mend an already broken one? If its the first, then she's probably breaking her heart on her own, and if its the second, help her in mending it.. be a little more patient, even if you already have.
Fourth step. Give it another day or two. Let her know you won't wait forever, but do not give a timeline, seriously.. don't be like "uhh yeah tomorrow I'm moving on", THAT would be ridiculous.
Fifth step. Breather now, the game is completely set up, and now you have to wait while she takes her turn. I know you've been waiting.. waiting probably for a long time, however, think of it like monopoly, she just landed on boardwalk, and sure its everythign she wants, but she doesn't have parkplace yet, and she has to mortgage marvin gardins to buy it. So what does she do? Well.. how appealing can boardwalk make itself?
-Elle
2006-11-26 12:56:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time love is complicated....And in the moment you are ready to give.....the other part isn't....you give and you reflect that your mate is selfish.
Open communication is a great key. don't be afraid to say out loud what you ve just said. Tell her how you feel...ask her why she is so insecure...is she hurt in the past by someone else and know she can't give herself cuz she is afriad that you will break her heart...tell her that you have too much love to cover her insecurity, tell her that you have passion to show your affection for her...and tell her that love is not selfish...and bag her not to make your life much complicated that it is.
maybe she needs a little air...ok let her take the breath...but I believe the words can be magic...ecspecially when the come right from the heart.
good luck.
2006-11-26 20:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by invisible1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel angry and on top of that she's making a fool out of you. What is it another guy? Forget it man. There are plenty of women out there looking for a guy as you describe yourself, if that's how you truly are, you should have no problem finding someone who is ready NOW! She's just stringing you along. Even if you do get together, expect more of her CRAZINESS.
2006-11-26 20:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you waiting for her to chose. Why don't you just say what you feel. If you love her does she know this? Why are you angry with her this could be solved if you just speak the truth, what you feel inside things will be alright. Seems like you are indecisive you want to be with her but you are scared. What are you scared of. I don't k now your history but in life sometimes we need to put our fears aside and say what we feel worst case scenario is she doesn't know how you feel. You come off as if you have mixed feelings you know what you feel but it seems like your scared of what your feeling?
2006-11-26 21:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by zizi4me22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dam!.. Randyken, if i were you man.. i would go and talk to her. Listen or re-read all those words .. no no no man... talk to her, if you don't do it.. you'll get a heart attack. Express urself, and give her a deadline.
Good luck man.
2006-11-26 21:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by NA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reread what you wrote. Do you want to marry you?
2006-11-26 20:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't love someone when you resent them. its just not true anymore.
2006-11-26 20:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by yoyo l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋