How do I stop my 3 year old from crying every time she here's no, or not now?

Question

It's getting annoying, she didn't used to be like that, as soon as she hears no she starts crying screaming about ANYTHING....everytime were at a restaurant or church there is always atleast 1 episode where i have to take her outside and wait for her to calm down...today at the mall people were coming to the area where i was to see what was going on because she was screaming so loud like someone was killing her just because she was at their little park for about half and hour and I said it's time to go now.

Answer 1

sometimes kids go through certain stages...tantrums are a common one...i tell you one thing, the worse thing you could do is give in...even at home. right now you must be adamant about your decision when you say no,right now is not the time for you to change your mind after saying no. at home you have got to be very firm and when she has tantrums have a clear consequence for her behavior..that way she knows whats coming if she behave in that manner. try not to show frustration, let her know who is the boss by staying calm, being aggressive, and not giving in!!!...whatever you do, dont reason or give them choices and dont try bribery!!!

Answer 2

Don't give up; don't give in. Don't react in anger. Stand firm.

Those beautiful little darlings are completely self-absorbed and self-centered. That's something it takes time and perseverance and patience to train out of them.

If necessary, some sort of correction should be administered so that your child associates a negative consequence with her action. It may be a spanking, it may be that you leave the store immediately without the treat she was hoping to get - whatever works. Remember that at 3 the "consequence" needs to be introduced very shortly after the action. The loss of a bedtime snack after a screaming fit at the store that morning is not the answer.

Avoid the temptation to bribe her into acting good. Paying for good character makes you the victim and her the blackmailer.

When raising children "the days are long, but the years pass swiftly." It will change. Keep loving her - and keep LIKING her as well.

Answer 3

From Psychology Today:

The Fastest Way to Get Kids to Stop Crying

"researchers found the fastest way to end a meltdown. Trying to reason with your child or ask questions or offer comfort, it turns out, will only exacerbate the tantrum. It’s better to make short direct orders (like “Go to your room”), which are easy for a child to understand in his heightened state. The very best course of action is actually to say nothing at all. That way you’re not adding fuel to the fire, so the tantrum will fade."

psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-candy/201203/the-fastest-way-get-kids-stop-crying

-=-

From Disney Family:

Don't demand that he stop:
"Don't say, "Stop crying," since that never works, and only makes you angry when your child cries harder!"

Don't respond:
"If the crying is manipulative (for example, you said no more ice cream and your child is crying), simply ignore it and leave the room."

Quality time:
"Increase the amount of one-on-one time your child gets from the important adults in his life. Sometimes crying is a plea for attention. Just remember to give the attention prior to the start of the crying, not as a reward for crying."

Don't be so tough:
"Recognize that your child is a sensitive person by nature. Use lighter discipline. Often, with this type of child, a firm tone is often enough to get your point across. Also, try to use alternate discipline methods such as distraction or the use of humor to keep him on track. Avoid being too harsh, as this behavior will just prolong the incidents of crying."

family.go.com/parenting/pkg-toddler/article-800517-tips-on-dealing-with-a-crying-toddler-t/

Answer 4

You've got a lot to undo. She has grown accustomed to her special one-on-one time with you when she acts out. I would stop taking her places. Get a babysitter and go yourself. Don't worry about whether she cries herself silly for the babysitter, though do locate a babysitter that doesn't mind fussy children. I was such a babysitter myself many years ago. I had one little girl about your daughter's age who would threaten: "Don't say that, or I'll be angry." My response: "That's okay Jenny, that's what little girls do sometimes--they get angry." She was a known thrower of tantrums, but she never threw one for me. I had others that did cry themselves silly. I'd talk to them or read to them as though they were not doing anything remotely unusual. And they'd stop--some sooner than others.

You need to be bored by your daughters outbursts; not annoyed. Act as though you are unaware of what she's doing. If you must remove her from a situation, don't ask her to quiet down. Just take a book and read it while you wait. She knows what acceptable behavior is. If she tries to engage you, give her a single "I'm waiting for acceptable behavior."

But I really would stop taking her places until she is willing to behave. If your church doesn't have a super good nursery, I think she's even too young for church. If she cries that you are leaving her, just say "I would love for you to come too sweety. You can start coming again when you're behavior is more grown up."

Whatever you do, don't argue with her, or implore her to behave better. That is far more attention than bad behavior deserves.

Finally, I do find that I cause my son less trauma when I give him advanced warning of changes when possible (and its not always possible). For example: "we're going to be leaving in 10 minutes." Kids like to know what the plan is.

Answer 5

Staying firm and becoming constantly on any action you decide to take works best, such as working somethin out or the silent treatment. Three year olds are toddlers and this age group is notorious for fits (along with teens). But is that does not work take her outside for a good ole fashion wippin'. That's the approach my parents tried and it works. But make sure no one else sees because they can call DFCS.

Answer 6

I know my son who is 21 months has not gotten to this yet, but, I started giving him options, explaining thing's & asking certain questions to avoid confrontations.

Like, you have to take a nap before you play any more, do this or that. Do you want to _____ before or after we do this? Can Mommy do this first? And then I ask him if it's alright. When he nods yes, we give high fives & say yeah. I know he can't just come out & say what he wants to do, but he get's the general idea of it.

I have had much luck with this!!!! We have great outings in the stores, restaraunts & so forth. On occasion I have to stand my ground & say "NO", but then I explain to him about why I did, or I start a conversation with him about something totally different & he get's his mind off it. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Three years old is a volatile time. I found that it was best to try not to reason, stand firm, and tough it out.

removing yourself and your child from the situation (like going outside) can be helpful, but try your hardest not to react AT ALL. I found this got the most attention from my daughter. If I became real quiet and still when she was having a fit, she would stop and pay attention.

Hope this works......4 is better. But then they just try to reason their way out of it.

Good luck..

Answer 8

what i do when i baby sit i say if you want to stay longer and do speacial things out in public prove to me that you can behave and if your really good you might get some candy or a toy but you have to prove to me first that you can behave like all the other 3 year olds because you dont see most of them running around like there 2 thats what i do and it works my neice kesta who is four when she started doing that and it worked for her and it worked for me because i didnt have to get annoyed everytime i babysat her

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I would take the being firm part a little further and start using the rest room a little more often. Depending on where you live and the people around you, you shouldnt have to worry about abuse issues.