Frustrated mom with cutting daughter...help?

Question

My 14 year old daughter has recently been hospitalized (twice) for cutting. She has also become very manipulative. It is very frustrating for me because I don't see what she needs to do it for.I believe such acts are for attention. She is loved by many and involved with her church, but there seems to be two very different sides of her. I personally think the entire situation is absolutely ridiculous and I am starting to resent her. It's hard to explain but I have other children I don't want exposed to her behavior. I love her and need help dealing with this.PLEASE.

Answer 1

OMG why are you on a computer asking complete strangers for help with this?
I feel for you and your children, but this is a serious problem that should be dealt with by professional therapy, not people like me!
Get help now.

Answer 2

I do treatment foster care and have a cutter here.She was pretty good and not doing it, until she went back to school, since then she has been joyriding with other students during school hours, she is also bulemic/anorexic, with sexual abuse. Many times all of these go hand and hand.

Has something traumatic happened that she is afraid to talk about. I suggest counseling as a start. Also remove all razors sissors, sharp objects, such as tweezers, nail clippers, even pens, and pencils. Make her have to ask to use anything and make her responsible for giving it back when finished.

Our child here, said how am I supposed to shave my legs, I said your not, you cannot be trusted with a razor. So now its an electric razor only.
We also make her only wear short sleeves and shorts in the house so we can see her arms and legs all the time. For some reason, this makes them back down some on doing it as they don't want it seen.
If she is having any weight problems such as loss of weight, don't allow her to use the bathroom for 30 minutes after eating, this usually gives the food time to begin digesting, so its not so easily thrown up.
But the thing is, something happened to make her start doing that, need to get to the root of that, and counseling is the way to start, and they can also help you with your feelings about this.
Hope this helped some....Good Luck!

Answer 3

working on an ambulance I see several people that cut themself. Most of them are teenagers. But I ask them why they do it and the most popular answer I get is for attention. Most of them will say how they have several problems at home and they feel that if they cut themself they will go to the hospital and it will temparly get them out of the house. Sadly there is not much that you can do for them. Try to spend more time with her and let her know that you are concerned for her. Also get her a theriapist or an adult she is really close to that will listen to her. Maybe all she wants is to be heard. Also try get her a journal to write how she feels (make she understands no one else will read it.) My advice for you is to deal with it without giving up on her. It is more than likely just another phase she will go threw. As for your other children, the only thing that you can do is let them know it is not okay in what she is doing and explain the dangers. I know that is not something that you want your other children to see, but if you simply make them understand it is bad, chances are that they will turn away from the things she is doing. Good luck with everything.

Answer 4

You need to be involved in therapy both with her and by yourself to help understand what is going on. Find a therapist who specializing in teen problems and one for yourself who can help you deal with all of this. You said you don't want your other children exposed to this?? Not sure why as this is a FAMILY PROBLEM not just your daughters problem. Also to think this is ridiculous also seems to indicate that you think she could just stop doing this anytime she wanted to. Usually those that cut themselves need lots of professional help and cannot just stop this behavior with out getting the help they need. Get your daughter and yourself in for some therapy.

Answer 5

i am a 19 year old and i cut. i just wanted to tell you that if you are someone who has never cut there is no way you can understand how we feel. its not for attention if it was we would not try to hide it so much. the relief felt from cutting is so great and its like a drug. belive it or not it makes you feel so good when you are hurt, sad, angry or alone you can always count on cutting to make you feel better. i dont know why i do it or why it feels so good to destroy my body. as for your daughter please dont ever give up on her. its not her fought cutting is something thats stronger then we are. all i can say is just be there for her and tallk to her. mosy importantly love her.

Answer 6

first of all, thank you for retaining your strategies open. Too many teenagers your age do no longer hassle with the opportunity of extreme reasons for it - they decide to race to the tip that folk in basic terms do it for frivolous reasons, like unneeded interest or being cool. they're reason why psychology needs to evaluation in extreme college. the main user-friendly motivation for reducing is the psychological launch it grants. It releases endorphins in the strategies that make a guy or woman experience good. (It would not take place each and every time with each and every person of direction, inspite of the undeniable fact that it rather is totally user-friendly.) this is why it is going to become an habit. Many cutters prefer to break their habit, yet they are in a position to't locate any different thank you to get rid of emotional soreness. i don't recognize ways plenty you recognize roughly medical melancholy, inspite of the undeniable fact that it rather is exceedingly plenty the emotional style of arthritis and an extremely complicated ailment to handle (in spite of expert help). somewhat some those with melancholy decrease themselves to numb the soreness it makes them experience. from time to time it is likewise a cry for help. that's no longer to be at a loss for words with "searching for interest". some human beings have not have been given any buddies, their households are abusing them, they have not have been given anyone to instruct to, and so as that they take place their soreness bodily in the hopes that somebody will word it and be the chum that they choose. remember nonetheless this is by no ability alright to assume that a cutter isn't easily depressed purely because of the fact they seem to have a good existence. There are a million of inward factors they could be coping with and additionally you don't recognize roughly. you surely do no longer could desire to approve of reducing (in certainty, you mustn't) yet people who do it choose empathy.

Answer 7

I am the same age with depression. My mother says that I think i'm depressed because I see all these depression commercials on TV and i've been convinced. I can't tell you how much it hurts to know that your own mother doesn't believe you. I can't imagine why anyone would want to harm themselves for attention. you don't really understand depression unless you have it. take her to a therapist.

Answer 8

Get her inpatient treatment! With all inpatient treatment the parents, and the child meet for a weekly sit down with a therapist. She needs help, she's depressed. Obviously her life isn't as good as you think it is.

Answer 9

Find a psychologist or psychiatrist that can help you both cope with her problem. You need as much help understanding it and dealing with it as she does. Your feelings are understandable. Just don't give up on her. She needs your support even if she is saying something different.

Answer 10

Have you put her in therapy? Have you looked into maybe sending her to a childrens ranch for troubled teens? If I were in your shoes I would definately look into both of those. Its never too late! Good luck.