My husband was adopted, I'm trying to find other family member's as the birth-mother has 2x refused contact.

Question

He's 35yrs. and has batteled Hodgkin's Disease since 1994. We have a 14yr. old son, & a 9yr. old daughter who is a carbon-copy of her father. My family is EXTREMELY close,as are we. They long to know these "other-people", who had NO-SAY in the decision made by ONE person that actually affected MANY, for YEAR'S!!! I respect her decison, but she told NO-ONE of her pregnancy. Not even the bio.- father. I believe my family has the right to see if these people would like to know, see, meet,etc. us. She does not have the right to speak for all the people who were biologically involved then, AND now, 35yrs. later. Now she's messing with MY Family! I believe, with all the info. I currently have from the State (WI.) (Family & Health History due to his illness) AND THIS SITE, we can find the other-half of our family. I'm running out of my limit of characters, so I'll get in what I can. DOB-Dec. 4th.,1970. She was born in a town in MI. with a pop. under 200 in 1950. Her sister was 4 in 1970.

Answer 1

so youre trying to find your husbands biological family and the bio-mother refuses to cooperate?

your information kind of all runs together and is very difficult to follow. who was born dec 4 1970? not the grandmother of your children, is it? whos sister was 4 yrs old in 70? and what does 1950 have to do with that?

if you have this womans address, i suggest writing a card letting her know of your husbands dying wishes and pray for the best. keep it simple though.

you say you respect her decision which does include the fact she told no one else. if your family is as close as you say they are - didnt they know this stuff upfront when you first married your husband?

it may be better to post a question on suggestions for how to locate long lost family members and go thru those means rather than hoping to have the specific people to respond

try this website: http://www.zabasearch.com/

Answer 2

I didn't hear anything about what your husband wanted out of this if anything. If he wants nothing then leave it alone. His mother had a right to give up her child and pray for the best.

If your family is as close as you say they are, then they should understand her feelings and leave this situation alone.

P.S. Send his mother one last card with your address and number should she ever change her mind and want to contact you all.

P.S. You don't know the whole story and if she wants to leave it alone..............please do so. Put yourself in her shoes for just a moment.

God bless.

Forgot: you could have kept this between the mother, you and her son (your husband) until she was ready to come out and let other family members know. All three of you could of kept this a secret and enjoyed a great relationship until it was time to tell others. I believe you missed out by over stepping your grounds and letting others in.

Answer 3

ok, so this hasn't particularly befell provided that its hypothetical? First, i might discover out what the rift is approximately, is it with the aid of adoption itself? whether that's because of the adoption and the mum replaced into compelled/pushed to provide up bub with the aid of relatives tension then i might decline touch. if that's because of the fact she went forward without at the same time with them in her determination to place the toddler then i might deliver letters and pictures letting the grandparents be responsive to the way the youngster is doing because of the fact on the top of the day, they are going to continually be that youngster's grandparents regardless what slightly paper and a synthetic regulation states. If the rift is thoroughly unrelated, i might stay out of it altogether and enable them to be responsive to that the mum has asked you to no longer get entangled and out of admire for her and in the youngster's appropriate pursuits for now, on an analogous time as she is barely youthful, you will honour that contract. inspire them to handle their rift so that they might proportion information and then stay out of it. as quickly as the youngster reaches a definite age, ask the youngster what they choose and permit the mum be responsive to if the youngster has asked for inof/touch type . all the ideal if this concern ever arises.

Answer 4

You may think you have this right, but you don't. It was her decision and probably with the help of her family. You are now affecting her current life and her current family and you are wrong. However, your best bet would be to go to the agency that he was adopted from and see if they will release any information.

Answer 5

Find out the name and number of the foster care agency that arranged for his adoption.They should be able to give you the information you need.First i think you need to ask your husband if he want to know them.Your feelings on this are important,but i think his are more important.Seeing as how he's the one that should have the say so on whether he wants to know them or not.