i finally met someone who treats me the way i like to be treated and my eleven year old has nothing nice tosay about him. He's not hip or cool or hot. just a great person. how do i deal with this shallow attitude in my kid??
2006-11-26 11:23:42 · 24 answers · asked by dpegra 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wait 7 years before getting another boyfriend so your kid (at 18) doesn't have to be involved in your love life. Your kid is a product of his environment.
2006-11-26 11:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Remember, he's only 11 and he would naturally not like to see mom with a new Guy! It doesn't matter how hip or cool, the kid will find things to not like about him. However, remembering that your child's feeling do come first and you are the adult, will go a long way, when it comes to discussing, his feelings. Who knows, there may be many reasons your son does not like this man, that you do not know about. Never assume. It would do well, to sit down with your child and explain that adults need other adult companionship, not only for emotional support, but for suggestions about everyday life. If this man is important to you and you are getting serious, speak to your son, gradually, about his importance as an adult but that no man could ever replace the place you have in your life for your son! If you have not dated this man, or any man for long, do not let you child see him sleeping over, or taking liberties with you, in front of your son. Your son needs to feel secure that not just anyone will be staying over at the home he lives in, as well. Calming your son's fears of new people that enter his life, will help, but make sure you do not put too much pressure on your son. He is just starting puberty and has a lot of changes of his own going on. He may even feel more protective of his Mom, these days. Be patient. an eleven year old doesn't have the maturity to be anything more than a bit shallow in most cases. After all, it is his life too. He is probably afraid of what will happen next.
2006-11-26 11:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by bpember744@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is only jealous, which is a normal response. just remember Mum, he is only a kid. with the right attitude and showing that you are not "replacing" him, he will come around. You will also need the help of your boyfriend. Give your son time, include him in some of your outings, go places as a family, doing things as a family. time will be on your side. If he does not come around, remember this. He will only be with you for the next 7 to 9 years. but don't you ever tell him that. You could spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend, if all goes well. and if all goes well, he, your son, will be glad to be part of the "family". One other question. is his Father still alive and in the picture? if so, you could ask his help in dealing with your sons rejection, as he may see this new man and replacing his Dad. You can get around this with proper support from his Father and your boyfriend
2006-11-26 11:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by maude_438 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the kid's your son, he will always have a problem with another man when it comes to you. A boy's mother is his first and foremost relationship with a woman. It's just jealousy and competitive behavior. Give it time, so they find something in common. He'll get used to it as long as the man treats you with respect and caring, it's a good example for him. Most daughters could care less.
2006-11-26 11:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by bb4pb510 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all congratulations for having a boyfriend with a child. Believe me, my son hated anyone looking at me let alone date me and would give anyone a hard time. Tell your son how pleased you are with this new person in your life and find a way for the two of them to share some common interest. Baseball, football, PS2 or 3 games, etc... Find out what your man likes then tell your son how he would feel to join you in those activities with him...Where's his dad? Let his father be responsible for his entertainment... Kids are so hard to please. Good Luck
2006-11-26 11:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by motherkc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, that's kids. But you have a right to be happy. The main thing is not to isolate your kids and make them part of the relationship. Your child may feel like their losing you. All you can do is be reassuring to your child that they are first in your life and always will be and hope for the best.
Good Luck!
2006-11-26 11:29:44 · answer #6 · answered by shylovekee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give the child a chance, he has been use to having mom to himself. And now all of a sudden you have this man in your life. If you are spending a great deal of time with this man and leaving the child out, you should try to include the child so he can get to know him. Good luck and God bless****
2006-11-26 11:27:35 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends. Who comes first? If your kid is number 1 in your life, do what makes them feel good and comfortable. If you come before your kid or your new boyfriend is more important than your kid, do what you want, but if you are a good mother, then your kid should come before anyone else in the world.
2006-11-26 11:28:20 · answer #8 · answered by Bri 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are dating for you. Don't date to pick a new father for your kids. Your kid probably feels threatened and would no matter who you dated.
2006-11-26 11:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your kid probably feels that you have potential with this guy, since he's so nice to you, and feels threatened by it. try talking to your kid and explain that you really like this guy, but that your daughter/son will always come first in your life.
2006-11-26 11:29:04 · answer #10 · answered by Chelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋