I'm 21, he's 22 and has a little girl, aged 2. He's obviously not with the mother anymore. I am interested in him and he has made it very clear that he is interested in me but I don't want to get in the middle of anything between him and his ex. As far as I know they're on good terms. Do u think I would be making a mistake getting involved?
2006-11-26 11:11:29 · 11 answers · asked by Abi N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just take it slow. Get to know him without his daughter being around first. There's no reason you should be involved in anything with his ex until you're very serious, and if she can't handle you being around, it's her problem. If he's a good father to his daughter, you'll probably be even more endeared by him. If he's not a good father, you might not be interested. Also though, you are at an age, where you can say that you don't want any of the drama at all, and just walk in the other direction.
2006-11-26 11:15:47 · answer #1 · answered by lovebluenfluff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With him and his child so young, why isn't he and the baby's mother trying to work things out? You will be in the middle between the child, it's mother and the father and there's going to be drama. When a child is this young and through out there growing years, there should be more communication than just chit chat between the parents and then say they get along fine. In such a relationship, are you ready to do more compromising and sacraficing than he because you will to have to do it. This guy has at least 16 more years of child support payments, so are you ready to start loaning him money that you're not going to get back. Can he even afford to have a girlfriend or will you finance a relationship with him? What role will you have in his daughter's life and how does her mother feels towards you? Will you be a free babysitter? How will you feel when this guy has to spend time with his daughter and her mother and you're not included? These are just some of the questions you need to consider. It may all start out fine, but it's not going to stay that way. Remember, you're not first in this guy's life. His daughter is and if she isn't, you had better believe, the drama is waiting for you. It's not a good idea to get involved when children are this young and parents are this young.
2006-11-26 13:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by merry59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from me with experience, do not get involved with a person who has kids because you will become the worst person around when that kid gets older. If mommy starts telling the kid things behind your back ( like the reason y mommy and daddy can't get back together is because of you what do you think the kid will think) and when the kid does wrong you cannot discipline the child because he or she is not yours. If you marry him you will end up in divorce because of the kid. If you think that it can't happen it will and what happens when the kid mouths off to you and daddy does not correct the kid or corrects you in front of the child. My advice is that you are heading for a whole lot of problems that you do not want and at 1st it will be all rosey till a few yrs down the road. BAD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-26 11:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by get the facts right 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From my experience only, I would say that it can be tough to date a man with child(ren), especially child so young. However, some of the best men in my dating past had children from previous relationships, and I do not think it was a mistake to be with them. With any dating relationship, there are hurdles and learning experiences. I do not think it would be a mistake, however, just make sure you know the boundries when it comes to his child and your role in the kid's life.
2006-11-26 11:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by just another chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can give you the guys point of view!!!!!!!!!!! I am 30 years old and have 3 boys, yes thats right 3 boys!! Last year I might a girl named Julie, After seeing each other a couple of times I asked her if she was bothered at the fact that I kids, she said no, this was the first girl I met that said this. Long story short we get alomg great and my boys are just as much in love as I am!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-26 11:19:53 · answer #5 · answered by fasteddie762001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you ready to accept partial responsibility for the little girl
if he and you were to get real serious and marry? How
do you feel about raising a child who isn't your biological child?
These things may not happen but on the other hand they
could. Once you decide what your feelings are on these
scenarios, then you can see if it is OK to get to know him better.
2006-11-26 11:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Smartypants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not a bad idea at all. It shows that he is a good father if he sees his child and is on good terms with the childs mother. Just know is daughter will be his first priority.
2006-11-26 11:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not with that information i don't, he needs to be able to move on if that part o his life is over, the ? is ARE YOU ready for a relationship that she will somehow always be apart of, they have a kid together and a permanent bond bc of it, are u able to be apart of this family and trust him enough to know they only see each other bc of the child they share, if u r, then go for it, bc he should be a better guy bc he is also a committed daddy, be open minded with him and involved with hs daughter.
2006-11-26 11:16:14 · answer #8 · answered by harmonieclark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you get involved with a man who made 1 child out of wedlock, ditched the mother, and pays child support while visiting his own kid? What does that say about his family values? I think it's a huge mistake- don't recycle other women's men- get your own.
2006-11-26 11:14:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no if hes on good terms with his ex and they dont have feelings for each other anymore then there shouldnt be a problem plus all babys are super cute how can you resist
2006-11-26 11:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋