What is wrong with my 6 year old?

Question

She will not listen to anything I say. I even punish her by takin things away from her. And I do stick with it. Nothing seems to work with her? I am lost here on what to do.

Answer 1

Try to talk to her. Make sure that she is happy in her life and there is nothing going on that may be upsetting her. She could be trying to get your attention. If you think all is well emotionally, then she is probably just testing her limits, like all kids do.
With our son, we tried to take his toys away, and like you it didn't work most of the time. But there were those few key toys that he really treasured that seemed to always do the trick. Then, he had to earn them back from us by showing respect, doing chores, and just being a productive member of the family. Once again, the key is to find what really matters to her. If you take away a Barbie and she has 7 more to play with, it won't really matter. But most kids have those one or two "favorite" things that they don't want to give up! Hang in there, they aren't easy!!

Answer 2

After you get her ears checked out and make sure she is not autistic or has a learning problem, then:

Time out helps a lot. Taking things away does not work unless you actually get rid of them and do not give them back.

Make her sit down when you speak to her and make her look into your eyes. Take simply and directly to her: do not scream or threaten or get hysterical at her. Be calm and if you tell her to do something and she does not listen or will not do as you asked then deny her something she really wants -like watching TV or playing outside or whatever - make her sit with her face to the corner and not budge. After enough times out she will start to get the idea.

If she does something really bad then do not allow her to go anywhere for a week and no TV or games. come home - homework and bed - that is it

I would deny desserts and so forth but not meals - kids need to eat and blood sugar problems can make them crazy

Answer 3

Sometimes, when conflict between parent and child turns into a battle, it escalates beyond whatever the issue at hand may be. You may think your child is reacting you your demand that she pick up her toys. But in her head, she may be rebelling against everything you ask her to do, or expect of her.
Six is a difficult age. Up till then, children pretty well unquestioningly accept what their parents tell them. But at six, they begin to think for themselves. They begin to interact with other children at school. They begiin to learn things you have not taught them. So the techniques you used when they were little aren't going to work any longer, because they are not longer your innocent, accepting little child. It's part of growing up, but it can be very, very frustrating.
Sometimes you need an aribtrator -- a child behavioral therapist -- to defuse the situation and make the child realize that you are still the one in charge, and to help you learn how to enlist your child's cooperation. There's an old saying, that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. And corny as it sounds, it's true. And it works with children (adults too, by the way, and even teenagers, who are a separate breed altogether).
Instead of nagging her and punishing her, catch her doing something right and praise and reward her. When you want her to do something, give her a reminder. "I know you were going to put your toys away, but please put them away before dinner" rather than launching into the "How many times do I have to tell you to put your toys away?" routine. If the toys aren't put away before dinner, her dinner can simply wait until the toys are put away. It will only take a few minutes. Don't be vindictive or nasty about it. Just dish out her dinner and say, "I'll just serve your dinner out while you're putting your toys away." Keep it calm. And continue to praise and reward anything that she does right.
Meanwhile, take a deep breath, relax, and go have a cup of tea. It's frustrating, but kids do grow up, and they do love you, but there are just a few phases they have to work through. You can help by not over-reacting. You are her mother, not a jail warden, and it won't hurt if you compromise once in a while too. Just to show her you are human as well.
Keep loving her, keep praising her, and she'll reward you by being more cooperative.
Good luck to both of you.

Answer 4

1. Follow the 3 C's - Clear, Consice & Consistant
2. Say her name first, get eye contact before speaking
3. Follow 6 month rule - if it won't matter in 6 months don't sweat it.
4. A hearing test may be in order - rumple a lolly wrapper when out of sight.
5. Play 'what did you learn today' over dinner - get her talking and you listening to model the behaviour you want

Answer 5

There's not enough information here to answer you definitively, but I do have a working theory:

First, if she is eating or drinking ANYTHING with artificial colors, sweetners, flavors, high in caffeine or sugars, etc. then get her off these things immediately! (I cannot emphasize this enough!) We experienced severe behavior problems with my nephew when he was your daughter's age, and it took us years to figure out the connection between his attitude and what he was eating/drinking.

He loved Fruit Loops, Mello Yellow, Fruit Roll Ups, Mountain Dew, cupcakes and cookies decorated with the Sesame street blue cookie monster on them....on and on the list went. And the more he was pumped with sugar, artificial colors, (etc), the wilder and more belligerent he became.

You can find more information from Dr. Ted Broer's "Eat Drink & Be Healthy" series, but personal experience tells me that theory is true.

Having said that, if changes to her diet and drinking habits doesn't improve her behavior (and her willingness/ability to listen to you), then it may be time for a trip to the pediatrician. There could be other physiological problems, or maybe the doctor could advise you on disciplinary tactics that work....but I would recommend the most natural, easiest approach first. The drawback to doctors is they frequently treat a symptom without dealing with the root cause of the problem....so I would make this your last resort.

Sometimes the simplest solutions bring the greatest rewards.

Wishing you all the best....

Answer 6

Unfortuanately six year old think on their ownand they have many fallacies in their reasoning. I ge the because I wanted to responce from mine. On the big things like walking away from school in the middle of the day, or touching everything in a store we make her write sentences. It is very time counsuming for her she is learning to read and write. As for the not listening I have taken my daughter to get her ears checks repeatedly. She got tubes but hears just fine. Listening ont he other hand I guess starts around 9 or so???

Answer 7

Every kid has what we call 'currency'. There is something that she likes enough to behave well for. Find out what she really wants or likes most of all and tell her that she only gets it when she behaves appropriately. Make sure she knows the rules clearly. You are preparing her for adult life - as adults, we know that if we don't work and obey the laws, then the things we value - freedom, money, nice clothes, nice food - are taken away from us. Apply the same principles after you find out what it is she likes the most. You have to be prepared to say to her, "I will strip your world of everything you enjoy unless and until you agree to behave appropriately". If that means no tv, no dessert, no new clothes, no trips, then do that until she learns. Indulging her is not going to set her up adequately for real life. Good luck.

Answer 8

Use the 3 strike rule,

1. warning
2. time out
3. spanking

It works wonders with our girls (ages 3, 7, and 10) They usually get the hint after the warning, sometimes they slip up and need the time out. Very rarely do they need the spanking. Remember I said spanking, not spank, or swat. Spankings need to be rare but well remembered.

Good Luck

Answer 9

I have the same problem with my 6 year old. The best thing that finally worked for me was....asking her questions like why do u feel u shouldn't clean your room and she responded with because you're always telling me what to do and i said that's because i know what's best for you and cleaning your own mess is what adults do. Mkae your child feel they have a say or a voice in there life hope that helps

Answer 10

I need more information here... Like you, your six year old has needs. You need to listen to her and what she has to say and offer. I have a hunch but I think you need to keep her active and make yourself available to do these activities with her. Keep it positive! Encourage and compliment her. Avoid negative and punishment as your daughter is too sensitive to those things.