ummm i dated this guy a few times on and off he was a complete asshole and now we are back together and we didnt get back together until i found out i was pregnant.........he says he loves me and wants to be with me but i am afraid he is only with me cause he dont want me to claim child support on him, i am really confused cause his cousin is telling me he would only be with me so he dont have to pay and i dont know who do believe........how can i find out the truth? if he really does love me or just trying to get out of child support?
2006-11-26 11:02:28 · 21 answers · asked by kari_bazan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go to child support, try to collect. If he loves you, he won't mind. You can collect child support, if you are not married, even if he were to move in with you. If he objects, tell him the truth, you are just trying to protect the rights of your child. If he stays, and still pays, he loves you. If he goes, at least you got the money coming to help raise your child. The only way he would not have to pay is if you got married to him. (and by the way it sounds, you shouldn't rush into that)
Long live Jambi
2006-11-26 11:09:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick his a.ss out and collect child support, especially if he was a complete asshole to you in the past. Is he verbally or emotionally abusive? Is he the type that could become physically abusive? Because either of these would be a huge problem - and even more huge with a little one.
Does it seem to _you_ that he's lying? I don't care what he TELLS you; it means jack s.hit until you see some action and he treats you better. I'll tell you one thing: becoming a parent does not automatically fix a person's jerk personality and attitude. And your child should not have to grow up with a mean jerk thoughtless father.
Get rid of him. You may very well meet someone in the next year - or even month or week, who knows? - who will treat you better, adopt your baby as his own, and want to start a family.
2006-11-26 11:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation of what I've read it sure seems like heäs only out to skip the money he has to pay since he suddenly comes back to you when he hears about his child.
Many will say forget him go for child support. I say you only know better than any of us what he's like. Can you see yourself and him raising your child together.
Try also looking into the future, when your child grows older. He/she is really going to apprieciate that his biological parents cared enough about him/her to stay together and be there for him/her as he/she grew up. A child will normally be better of having both his parents around.
Maybe you can try and get your relatoinship patched up for your childs sake. If it doesnt work, then go the other way.
Still dont either forget that you sholdnt have to take abuse of any kind from him. Arguaments may occur but no more, specially if you are carrying a child. remember your special and will only live once!
I cant say much more.
I do hope you all the best, You do have a hard situation on your hands and its important to think through wisely what dessitions to make and steps to take so you can build your life back to where you want to be.
You'll be alright, things will eventually work out in the end even though you might hit bumps on the road or even dead ends.
Take care ! :)
2006-11-26 11:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I'm sure the asshole part of him hasn't gone anywhere, but he is being a man about it, and not running away. Got to give him credit for that. How does he treat you now? If he treats you respectful, and looks like he will make a good daddy, I'd say give it awhile. You know in your heart how it's going, search it. Don't worry about the child support so much right now, worry about being healthy and carrying a healthy baby. This guy will be responsible for the next 18 years, so relax. Just don't take any abuse, for the sake of you and your baby, you both deserve better!
2006-11-26 11:12:39 · answer #4 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the truth. if he was a complete asshole when you guys were together why are you with him know. just b cause u are pregnant doesnt mean you need to be with him. if he was an asshole before what makes u think he wont be later. maybe when after the baby is born. do you really want to be in a relationship like that.
2006-11-26 11:06:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lil' Mami 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really see yourself building a life for you and your child with this guy? I doubt it, based on what you've written about him. You'd be better off raising the baby on your own and waiting until you meet the right man to settle down with. Have you thought about giving the child up for adoption? Becoming pregnant by someone you dated a few times is not very responsible behavior, and you may need to get your life together before you delve into parenthood!
2006-11-26 11:05:43 · answer #6 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To me it sounds as if he's trying to get out of child support. If he was an asshole to begin with, then all of a sudden does a big turnaround because you're pregnant...
Maybe try sitting down and having a talk to him about it. Ask him if he's serious about loving you or is he just trying to get out of payin child support. etc..
2006-11-26 11:06:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about talking to him about your concerns?
Right now, you need to concentrate on your child's well being. If you think that this guy is using you, then you need to step up and be honest with yourself and him.
Also, what are you going to do with the baby? Especially if you aren't married or seroiusly dating, who's going to care for the baby while you work? How old are you?!
Right now your biggest problem shouldn't be child support--it should be about your child's future. This isn't only about you anymore.
And if you can't give this child the life he or she deserves, do NOT keep the child because you want money!
2006-11-26 11:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Only time will let u figure that one out because he sounds like a total asshole and i'm sure u could make a stand and maintain your child without him, don't put through yourself this kind of strain especially when you're pregnat.....
Also u didn't even say if you love this guy....
2006-11-26 11:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by tutsie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it wouldn't matter if you are together or not the law says if you don't marry they pay child support whether the state gives it to you now and collects it from him later that will happen unless you are married, talk to him tell him your concerns for the baby that is who is innocent in this situation, there are single parents everywhere and sometimes you must consider your child first
2006-11-26 11:08:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋