I'm A 23 Year Old MALE College Student. I Never Dated. How Do I Talk/Flirt with Girls?

Question

I never had any experience with girls at all - never dated, never had a girlfriend, never had any friends that were girls, never had sex. I never had any sisters or cousins that were girls who would be able to teach me - all my cousins (and I have a lot) are guys.

I'm an undergrad at Stanford studying psychology and there is this girl in my class who I'm kinda attracted to, but I only talked to her once in groupwork. I have no idea if she was at all interested in me or not. How do I flirt with her? Should I even flirt with her?

Should I ask her out? How can I become her friend? Or is it just hopeless alltogether? I'm only 5'5" and she's a little taller.

I'm at a complete loss of what to do. I don't think my parents really want me to be dating anyone as my mother has been telling me that I'm better off being alone and that girls would probably hurt me.

Answer 1

Just try to befriend her first. Talk to her and ask her out. You need to see how she responds to see if she likes you. Good luck!

Oh by the way, I realised you're at Level -1! Amazing!

EDIT: I realised you said 2 months ago that you were a 21 YEAR OLD NYU STUDENT.

Answer 2

If you like the girl in class, you can be brave and ask her to have a cup of coffee with you after class. The worst she could say is no, and she might say yes. If you would like to go slower then sit near her in class and smile at her when you have a chance. You do need to socialize with the opposite sex. It normal, it's natural. And yes, you will get hurt. Everyone does. But you'll get over it and grow from the experience. Don't worry about being 5'5", to many women this doesn't matter or frankly they are attracted to men that are shorter than they are. Anyway, 5'5" isn't all that short. How about Nicole Kidman marrying Tom Cruise? Good luck as to begin your search for a life mate!

Answer 3

Well, you have a lot of good things going for you. Keep on working on being a success and then when the right one comes along you'll have a lot to offer. There are many short guys who have gfs. My son in law is only 5'2" and is a policeman. Hard to do with short legs but he was determined. He had already been an EMT which helps and went through all the training and stuff. So keep on the road to success and a girl will be impressed with your expertise. Girls want to feel that you could take care of them so if you are doing well job wise, that helps. Pray also for God's will in all of this. God bless you!

Answer 4

I'm sorry that your mother is trying to prevent something that happened to her, in you, by telling you it's better off being alone. Males and females have been hurt in relationships, that will always be, nothing can change that...BUT, never allow that to stop you from making friends with a female.

We all need to experience people so that we can learn who we are and who they are. Not every friend will become a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and even with just friends we might get hurt. Will that stop us from becoming a friend or making friends? NO it doesn't.
The reason is we are humans and we need human contact.

Yes, you should say HI to this girl and keep it simple. Ask her to go out for a soda or a bite to eat with you. There is nothing wrong with your height.Stand tall in your shoes and be proud of who you are. People come in all sizes and packages. If you remain true to yourself and be who you are you will have no problems with people seeing you for the person you are in your heart.

Start off with getting to be friends, friendships can always grow into deeper relationships but if you start off seeking the relationship? Sometimes it's not always easy to be friends if it doesn't work out.

Good Luck to you and let us know how things go.OK.

Answer 5

I was pretty inexperienced at a late age, too, but I've gotten past it. It's a problem only as long as you let it hold you back from trying.

My advice is to start simple with this girl in your class. Just aim for carrying on a friendly conversation. Ask her questions about herself, but don't give away any romantic intent just yet. If you seem to click well conversationally, try inviting her to study with you or grab a coffee after class or something like that. Keep it casual and relaxed at first. If she's interested in you, she'll give signs of it, at which point you can start being more flirtatious. If she doesn't seem interested, then just treat her as a friend (if you want to) or move on.

Last bit of advice: don't worry about your height, don't worry about what your parents think.

Answer 6

Hmm, I have that same problem, only not as bad. I didn't have any brothers or male friends. Suddenly in High School I was supposed to have a bf and I had never even spoke to guys before! Just remember that even though you're scared, she probably is feeling uncomfortable too!
There is no reason to feel scared, but it might be easier to talk to girls if there was another guy with you?
Just talk about school, a movie or anything. The more you talk the easier it gets!
Good luck

Answer 7

I feel your pain man. Just be yourself and try to make friends and go from there. If it happens great. If you just become friends and nothing more, thats alright too. If nothing happens, atleast you tried. I've been in that same sitiuation with girls and just let it pass me by, years later I still wish I would have atleast tried. Not knowing is worse than knowing the truth some times.

Your mom is just being over protective, that definatly doesnt help your situation. And just because you havent had any kind of relationship with a female doesnt mean our gay...

Answer 8

A GIRL'S ADVICE:

i think your parents (mom in particular perhaps?) have ****** you up.

my mom used to criticize ALL the guys i dated. no matter who it was or how good they were (or how much she didn't know them) she would always have a negative comment on hand.

my solution: i keep my parents out of it. no soliciting their opinions. no telling them details of what's going on. constant criticism is good for no one. it was messing with how i perceived people and made me grossly judgemental - just like them. this is not healthy!

The answer to your problems is confidence. Confidence is key. The issue of height might not be an issue at all - it really depends on the person. Have you ever heard of the ladder theory?

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

read that. it's always nice to become friends first, but you can't wait too long to take it to the next level - or you risk being just a friend forever.

MY PROCESS
personally, i have to get to know a guy before i will ever consider going on a date with him. i'll get to know him, then decide if
(a) he is so hot that all other things don't matter - he is so hot, i want him just for sex (this is fling material),
(b) he is hot, fun, and can hold meaningful conversations with me. he is someone i am attracted to physically and mentally - this is the person i'd start a relationship with,
(c) he is not attractive to me at all but seems like a good person (this is friend material),
or (d) he is not attractive to me at all and seems like a bad person (this is cut-off-all-contact-with-and-avoid-at-all-costs material).

The word "attractive", to me, has a very complicated definition - suffice it to say it is not based on looks alone.


ADVICE:
I offered some insight into how I (a girl) think so hopefully you can understand girls better. Do you know your stuff in that class? If so, I think you should ask her if she wants to study for the next test sometime (maybe a weekend?).. or work on homework. If she says yes, ask for her number. Call her after a few days (sad, but playing hard to get really does work) and say you're planning to study on X day at Y time and Z place (a coffee shop, for example) and ask if she wants to come with. You can bring your friends along if that makes you feel more comfortable, but let her know that is the case if you do decide to. Spending time with her outside of class will help you get to know her and vice versa.

If she says no, move on.

Answer 9

Your mom is just trying to hold you back, don't let her advice dampen you down. The real secret of flirting or getting a girl's attention is just to BE YOURSELF. Be confident in who you are and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. If you're studying psychology you of all should know that to establish a rapport with the client the therapist can't be nervous or shaky; he/she has to be firm throughout the whole interview or session. Just be yourself and everything will work itself out.
good luck!

Answer 10

omg. first of all...i think that is the most adorable thing i've ever heard. okay, your mom is wrong. you may be emotionally damaged by a girl at one point in your life, but that doesn't mean that you should never experience living life. before going for your classmate, you should do some detective work and find out if she has a boyfriend. second, you most definately need to find out if she has an opposition to guys shorter than her (cuz that is one of my pet peeves...dating someone shorter than me). if everything is green though, go for it!!! just talk with her...get to know her...ask her to lunch sometime to find out more about her. and if things don't work out, don't be discouraged...there are many good fish in the sea. good luck!! i really hope things work out for you.