Is it safe to...?? Is it wrong??

Question

I was raped by my b/f's friend. My friend says not to trust ne guy. We are 16.
Is it wrong to trust my b/f when I fall asleep in his arms and know that he won't want more?? Is this too much trust/too much to expect from him??
My friend says that no 16yr old boy can sleep with only his arms around his g/f and not cop a feel or ne thing. Is she right??

We have been together for 2 years and yes he knows about the whole rape thing.

I trust him and used to b4 I was raped but now my friend says I look easy in his eyes.

She says all they want is sex and will do what ever it takes to get it. I never told her that we already had sex, b4 I was raped.

Answer 1

She's right. Wait 10 years before sleeping with men. And get some counseling.

Answer 2

First of all, seek help if you have been raped! Speak to a teacher or an adult that you trust. Even if you do not press charges, you have been violated and need some psychiatric help to overcome this violation! You have the right to say 'NO!' and mean it! You may also find help at a free clinic and I suggest getting tested for VD. There are any number of diseases passed through sexual contact and any one of them can change your life. HPV can cause genital warts and lead to certain cancers. HIV can lead to death. Pregnancy is also something to worry about and now is not a good time to be lying in your boyfriends arms, no matter what the circumstance. Telling your boy friend what has happened to you, is something only you can decide. It's not your fault if you have been raped! No matter what others may say! No one deserves to be raped!!!

Get tested at a free clinic or by your own doctor, but please get tested! Time for recovery, is now. When you feel ready to accept a trusting relationship, speak to your partner, about your fears and reasoning. If he loves you, he will understand.

Answer 3

I think it's important that you have a heart to heart talk with him about your feelings, and that by being raped you are now vulnerable. Let him know that you need him to be supportive of you and although you want to feel close to him, you are not ready to move beyond that. Find out how he feels about that, and if he says, "No way," then end the relationship.

I am assuming your parents know about the rape. Ask them, if they already haven't, to help you seek counseling. You have been violated physically and emotionally, and speaking to a trained professional will help you regain your strength and in having a healthy relationship, both emotionally and sexually, with men in the future.

As for Mr. Curious' outrageous and offensive comment about "resale value", he obviously is ignorant about the violence and violation that occurs with a rape. Ignore his insipid comment.

Answer 4

I dont know what to say, but it just depends on the your trust in people, like I would never do anything like that because I am not that kind of guy, but the thing is though you have to be careful, because its always the nice ones that are truly like that. Just go with your instincts. Sorry that I was not much of a help. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 5

She not right. I'm talking to a 18 r old boy now and he has not once asked me for sex and I know he's not cheating on me. It's ok to trust ur boyfriend. try to tell him what his friend did and if he does not stop talking to him, he's not for u, but if he does, try to trust him. If you do nt av d courage 2 tell him, keep on trusting him and try 2 confide in him. Dont listen 2 ur frend, she knows nothing. All guys r not the same. Just remember that.

Answer 6

Sounds like your friend doesn't know any quality guys and is making a massive generalization.

If you have already been in that situation with your boyfriend... has he done something to make you not trust him or feel comfortable? If he hasn't, then that disproves your friend's stereotype.

If he has given you reason to not feel comfy in that situation, explain it to him and either he backs off, or you don't put yourself in that situation.

If you yourself are still experiencing trust issues as a result of your ordeal, you should seek counseling to help you work your way through those issues.

Answer 7

It makes sense that you are having difficulties trusting, and that makes sense after what you have been through. It is a matter of recovering from the rape and doing only what you are comfortable with. Seek professional help to deal with things, and it will feel safer for you to have support. Many young guys are capable and trustworthy, but if you are incapable of believing him, it won't matter what he says. Trust your gut.

Answer 8

thats so not true not all guys are the same just let him gain your trust first. get to know each other. and your friend is completely wrong a 16 year old guy can sleep with only his arms around you without trying anything else.

Answer 9

Some guys are saints, and other are just perverts.
As for coping a feel when your sleeping if he does that, then do you want him as a friend?
Trust and respect is both give and take.Some have to earn it,others are expected to provide it.
If the rolls where reversed could you trust yourself?

Answer 10

No she is wrong in telling you that.
There are some gentlemen that won't do anything unless they are asked.
Just because at 16 doesn't mean they are all bad.
If you feel safe with the one you love., then you have nothing to worry about...
Give him a benefit of a doubt and let him show you he is a real
gentleman ...