I'm a single woman in between boyfriends and have what I would call normal sexual cravings. When I meet someone I like I'd love to have sex with them without getting emotionally involved in case I get hurt. Is there some method for doing this ie. pursuing the physical part whilst holding one's emotions in check? Men seem to be able to do this better or do they?
2006-11-26 09:51:38 · 13 answers · asked by sonia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
treat it like a sport. for example when you go to a football game the action is fast and furious but when it's over you get up and leave.
2006-11-26 09:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I completely disagree with Mia and the other weak women and women hating men that answered this question.
Once a woman learns that sex has absolutely nothing to do with love she's fine. The smart ones learn this early in life (I knew it before I threw my virginity away).
Initially, most men will not need an explanation that the encounter is purely sexual because they are thinking the same thing. If it happens repeatedly and the guy is really into you then you may have some splaining to do.
The biological explanations about Oxycontin etc are good points but these hormonal effects happen shortly after said sexual encounter this should be something a female can get over if she is not a relationship happy idiot and chooses to use her rational mind.
Men don't care how many people a woman has been with. Men care if that woman has done things with the aforementioned men that she hasn't done with HIM. Insecure men who cannot/will not please a woman are intimidated by women who have had more partners because they figure she has had better and will leave him for better. Hence the obsession with virginity.
Men prefer a woman who is not "cold" in the long run. It's easier to control a woman who is obsessed with "love" and feels only he, the man can validate her existence. Plus the man tends to think and speak of the woman as a possession.
2006-11-26 11:16:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
A mans and a womans brain is wired completely differently, so sorry but I don't think you can do this. For men sex and love are two different things that can interconect, but are easily kept apart. Women just cannot seperate love and emotions from sex, unless you have a more masculine brain? Im reading a book sort of on this at the moment and it explains that although society portrays men and women to have the same needs, and it is politically correct to assume that the two sexs are equal. This is not the case our biology dictates who we are, and we are most diffenetly different.
Also sex is said to be always better if you love the person, ask yourself will what felt good at the time be regreted in the morning.
2006-11-26 10:02:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex, in and of itself, is an intimate thing. While you can't fully seperate emotion from the action, there are a few things you can do. First, talk to the guy. Make sure he understands that you are doing this specifically for the sex, not a relationship. As long as you two have that understanding between the two of you, things will be a little easier emotion-wise because neither of you will expect something from the other except the sex (as opposed to a relationship). Best way to not get your feelings hurt? Don't have sex until your married.
2006-11-26 09:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you REALLY want to be in the same category as heartless men who have unemotional, unattached sex?
I don't think so.
That's why so many people hate those kinds of guys.
So I would say ... deal with your cravings on your own (if you know what I mean) until you find another boyfriend.
I REALLY doubt that your next boyfriend will be ok with the fact that you slept with a lot of different guys, no strings attached, before you met him. He'll probably see you as cold and unemotional and that you may end up doing the same with him.
I say, don't even TRY to go there.
2006-11-26 09:55:35 · answer #5 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can if you have sex with someone disgusting or unattractive just for the sake of sex. But if you really are attractive to a person then you could fall for him afterwards. So I say just don't do it unless if you just want to have cheap sex. Always use protection.
2006-11-26 09:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by Believe me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, this is what we would call shallow.
sex should really only be with the person u care about, both mentally AND physically.
if u feel no emotional attachment to the person ur having sex with, then u shouldnt get hurt, but he might
be careful about that
2006-11-26 09:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most women cannot do this because we are not designed that way biologically... sexual activity stimulates the release of oxytocin which is a hormone responsible for bonding between mates and between mother & child.
unless you intentionally sleep with a jerk who you KNOW you would never want to be 'involved' with.
2006-11-26 09:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im a man and seem to have the same problem, when i have sex with a girl i seem to get emotionally involved with them, i will be watching these answers with interest
2006-11-26 09:54:57 · answer #9 · answered by Skillz_That_Killz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are attracted to the people that you wanna have sex with then for sure you are going to have feeling for that person. There's no way that you can't have feeling for a person that you are attracted to. Unless they are not attractive
2006-11-26 09:58:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋