Why Are Guys So Confusing? They're Hot One Minute and Cold The Next!!?

Question

Okay I have The Worst luck with guys ever and I will admit most of it is my fault because I tend to push people away. I have done this for a while because I has beaten and raped when I was younger and have a hard time trusting people now, but evertime I like a guy he flirts for a while then it's like bam he's done and there's no more anything for a long time. So when they leave I am left feeling more an more confused and a little hurt since I think they like me but it turns out they dont.
Dose anyone else have this promblem???

Answer 1

Hi Alayna: My heart goes out to you for what you suffered when you were younger. Many women who have endured abuse find it hard to trust men again, and have a hard time putting what happened in the past where it belongs - in the past. A man can sense when a woman does not trust him, and most decent men have an inborn desire to protect a woman, not abuse her. Be warm and open, but cautious - there are still alot of creepoids out there. Here is a website that I think you will find helpful - trauma [e-mail]. You can communicate with other women who have suffered the same abuse and rape trauma as you. May God bless you and heal your hurt, and help you move on to a happy life with a good, loving man. JoAnn

Answer 2

Hi - you have what is called baggage. You had a miserable start in life but if you are healed mentally and physically then now is the time to learn to love again and now you can pick a good man. Just remember that no-one can hurt you anymore and you shouldn't turn cold with all people, there are still some good people left in the world. Find a different kind of people to hang with, intellectual, or outdoorsy, or sports orientated, OK just do some shopping find someone you like. Guy's can be so weird sometimes group with girls for a while forget your past it is just that the past. Live again you have your whole life ahead of you. Function as a human again you have so much to offer- get going. Above all stop telling everyone about what happened they don't need to know-or they will never forget and they may abandon you because they don't know what they can do to change what happened. Now is the beginning of the rest of your life, everyone gets bruised and damaged but we the strong survive the best we can. Live life, Enjoy the many people, Stop looking for pitty, no one else was there. Good Luck Dear,Stay Safe, And God Bless your little heart.

Answer 3

If a guy feels you are not interested in him, what your describing will happen.

You have baggage and insecurities. Many men do not find that appealing and will move on once they find out about it or feel it.

You describe yourself as someone who will push people away. Well if I am being pushed away by someone I am on a date with That will give me the impression she is not interested in me so I will move on. It's a 2 way street you need to give a little and take a little. Give the guy something to look forward to the next time you are with them (if it is a guy you are truly interested in). Give him some kind of security, kiss, hug, make out, anything except pushing him away. A little physical contact goes a long way. Give him a gentle stroke of the hand, smile then do it again a few minutes later. Just give him something to go look forward to. You can do all of what I described fully clothed in public so don't be afraid to do it if you like the guy.

Answer 4

I feel women are more confusing that men. But a suggestion...to take that confusion factor away and you don't end up with the "bam, he's done and nothing more for a long time" as you wrote. How bout this, control your urges, don't give in to sex simply to to desires and flattery. Come to know the guy before you sleep with him...dare I suggest several weeks, a few months ? You also wrote "after that type of sex there's no more for a long time"... why is the guy even allowed another time ? !. People are only going to treat you the way you let them treat you. Patience with yourself as your learning this...but do learn this. Men really are dear, valuing, to be adored...see the real individual and how he is personally. Is he a guy of value, honor and character while still being sweet and fun? The key here...tune in your emotional antennas and date before you mate ~ which is another way of saying "date and spend some (clothes on) time with the guy before having sex with him. And..sorry about your experience when you were younger...but remember this...that is what happened to you...it's not who you are. Experiences happen to everyone...it's what you do with those experiences that matter as you grow forward.

Answer 5

ok...i'm a Capricorn besides as making a learn of astrology for about 2 many years. i comprehend my signal, male and female. The Capricorn is a pile of contradictory factors... i do not comprehend why astrology books save printing the LIE that Caps reserve sex....that's bull! i imagine they confuse reserve with REPRESS. Caps are an Earth signal and Earth signs and indicators are very very very passionate kinds, yet deep. Caps tend to be repressed emotionally, so that they have got a tendency to 'act' like they are virginal, yet fairly some the time they don't seem to be. Caps are not quite warmth human beings, they are unswerving. once you've one as a pal, it has a tendency to be perpetually. Caps are especially intelligent human beings, yet they don't seem to be non secular. they are very constrained in how a techniques their mind will bypass. With this suggested, keep in mind that in case you're taking a seat this hide down and ask him why he's taking section in video games, he gained't have a clue what you're speaking about and could turn it round on you. (that's no longer that he's attempting to be evil, he's purely really unaware) Caps have a tendency to play video games, because they don't seem to be self analyzers. you're a Virgo and Virgos love self diagnosis, even although they don't have a tendency to provide themselves credit. Caps and Virgos get alongside so properly, because they are both a million) Earth signs and indicators and a couple of) are fascinated in mysterious kinds. although, Virgos are very watery as an Earth signal. they favor someone who's mature adequate to help them emotionally, yet to boot playful adequate to be a pal. Caps are not programmed this way. The older they get they a lot less they substitute. I say attempt to split your self from this human being, because contained in the right, you'll see no longer purely has no longer something replaced, yet that you're heart is breaking on a established foundation....

Answer 6

I used to have the same problem. I would find it very hard to trust and often push men away because of my past. I've found that when you find your soul mate, he will love you despite you insecurities, and with that, he will help you learn to trust him and not be afraid.
What is most important for you right now is to learn how to love yourself. You have to respect yourself and as hard as it may be, let go of the past. When you meet the right, truly genuine man, you'll be happy and feel secure, he'll make sure he helps you move on from the treacherous past and bring you happiness.

Answer 7

I was raped, but now I flirt with lots of guys, most of which keep going til they meet my b/f.

Answer 8

ever since i thought i loved this guy and i end up not loving him i have felt that way....obviously urs is more extreme but i do feel i push ppl away, but in some cases, including yours, its natural

Answer 9

i know im a lil stand-offish but i dont give a flying f***ck what any d****ck head gots to say.....and for u it is what it is somebody will come alone that understands u and your situation

Answer 10

hez playing a game