When I was a kid, my mom had this "friendship" with a man in our neighborhood. He called her often, and she would talk in a low voice and giggle a lot. My dad worked long hours 7 days a week to support us, so she would invite her "friend" over to the house while he was gone, and they would sit close together on the couch or stand in the dark foyer and talk to one another in low, seductive voices. Once I snuck up on them and caught them hugging. I asked her later if they had kissed, and at first she denied it, but when I kept pressing, she said that they kissed once. Sometimes my mom, my little brother, and I would go on trips with this man and his son, and he and my mom would hold hands, or he would stand behind her with his hands on her waist, or he would rub her thigh under the table. Once I heard part of a suggestive voice message he left her that she had tried (unsuccessfully) to erase.
2006-11-26 09:35:15 · 9 answers · asked by kiki 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Their relationship finally ended when, during my teenage years, he started making sexual advances toward me, and I eventually told my mother about it.
These days, my relationship with my mom is wonderful, and her relationship with my dad appears to be good. I try really hard not to think about the past, but occasionally I'll have really violent dreams where I'm screaming at my mom, hitting her, kicking her, crying uncontrollably, asking her why she treated my dad that way. None of us have mentioned the man again since he and my mom stopped speaking.
2006-11-26 09:40:20 · update #1
Yes, my parents are still married now. They seem to have a pretty good relationship, although sometimes I wonder if my mom is "forcing" herself to try to be happy. I do think she appreciates him much more now than he did before.
2006-11-26 09:51:47 · update #2
Yes, my parents are still married now. They seem to have a pretty good relationship, although sometimes I wonder if my mom is "forcing" herself to try to be happy. I do think she appreciates him much more now than she did before.
2006-11-26 09:52:03 · update #3
Look you can ask....but really truth be told, it may cause trouble.
Do it carefully...and DO NOT let your Dad know.
If things are good now, they need to stay that way...She will have to pay the price of her conscience telling her, she may have done wrong.
Believe me...I know too well.
So ask...but only the two of you need to know.If she did have some love thing going on....it 's over.Esp/if he hit on you!
So do you need to know too much?...you may seek counselling for your own hurts, but remember your mother..is not maybe able to help you...as she has her own demons to deal with.
So seek help for you, and if you must ask...do it in a kind way.
Life is not nice sometimes......it really stinks, but you also need to be careful for your Dads sake.
2006-11-26 09:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say whether your mom is still married to your dad. If she is, I would DEFINITELY leave this issue alone. You have no business intervening in their relationship. They are adults.
Even if she isn't, I don't see what good could come from your bringing it up with her. You are an adult now and you have your own life. What your mom did was wrong; either she turned around and started behaving better, or she continued in the same vein. Either way, you can't really change anything.
You have to relate to her as she is now, not as she was then. If she behaves in a way that hurts you or those you love, now at least you can remove yourself from the situation, and protect your children if you have any.
And you have to live your own life according to your own conscience.
2006-11-26 17:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you think you know was in the past you were young and now it is time to let it go it is not in your lives anymore so let it go ...mom is still with all of you and she has protected you from this person and has realized this is not the way to live .....you need to think about your mom and what she went through stop thinking of YOU everything seems fine mom and dad are happy..let the past be the past love your family and move on ....luv kara.
2006-11-26 18:13:43 · answer #3 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be instead of talking to your Mum right away go and talk to a councillor and work out how you are really feeling and why this is bothering you so, as your parents seem to be doing alright. You don't want to rock the boat till you know for sure that's the way to go.
2006-11-26 17:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by cailieco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what she did or didn't do. It's not for you to confront her. She's your mother and just remember, even wonderful people do things that are not good. How would you feel if, sometime, your child confronted you on things you'd rather not discuss. And what would it solve if you asked her? Let it go. She did.
2006-11-26 17:44:55 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your dad is happy... leave it alone.
2006-11-26 18:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really should talk to your family about this issue. especilly if it is bothering you!!!
2006-11-26 17:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by k bug 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No It really is NOYB
2006-11-26 17:46:50 · answer #8 · answered by norsmen 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sorry
2006-11-26 17:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋